People Coming to Your Door Uninvited.

Yep, I'm with you. I NEVER answer my door when I'm at home alone, and we almost never answer it even when my husband is home.

I for one, think just dropping by someone's house (without notice) is incredibly rude. There is no way to know what could be going on in someone's life.

I have a couple of dear, close friends who are like family and they are welcome to come by unannounced. They are also the kind of people who have more or less earned this drop-in status with us because they are gracious about not sticking around if they see we're busy. They'll just say a quick "Hi, just wanted to say hi... see you later" if it's not a good time.

Everyone else-- yeah, I wish they'd get off the porch. I would be happy to renew my memberships to the organizations we belong to without them coming to my door. And I feel fine just talking to someone through the storm door. If I don't know you, I really don't have to open up that door for you. (I also sometimes just don't answer the door, either.) I think if anyone came to the back door here, people would freak out on them. Portland is not a 'come to my back door' sort of place; if you knock on the front door and there's no answer, go away. We have a gate between the driveway and back door and I'd be on the phone to the police if anyone was coming through the fenced yard to that door.

ETA: Queen of the Castle: well said! I have often contemplated putting the 'sleeping baby' sign back up on the door. I just might.:)

I agree with you 500%. I'm actually kinda rude if people show up without notice. When I am able to be home, most time I'm in my jammies and not ready for uninvited company.

It's a sad situation, I think. Are we being unreasonably unfriendly or are we being reasonably cautious? I think most of us are cautious.

It is possible to put up a "No Solicitors" sign by the front door without being rude or crude. Don't be too cutesy or too dramatic; keep it simple. Some folks will pay no attention, but many will.

We have a peephole in our front door, and I always check it before I open. Sometimes a neighbor will pop over, unannounced, to ask briefly about something. I will always open the door to the neighbors. Sometimes the postman has too many items for the mailbox. If it's a kid (not an adult) selling something, I will listen to the spiel; I usually don't buy anything, but I can let him/her know that the sales pitch is a good one. I also want the children on our street to know they can ring my doorbell if they need to. A neighbor kid once came to my door because her mother had fallen. She didn't need an ambulance, but it was a little scary. I was glad the boy felt comfortable enough to ring our bell.

But too many incidents have happened around here for me simply to leave my door open for anyone. It stays locked, and I'm thankful for that peephole.

You can tell your children, as they grow, that their friends are certainly welcome at your house, and that it would be good for the friends to call first. Tell their friends' parents, too. If you show that you're sociable, you'll be believed. Most everybody over the age of seven knows the difference between a friend and a solicitor.

I can not imagine not having an open door policy in our home. We LOVE it when people come over. We want that nice neighborly community feel in our home. We want people to know that if they need anything they can come to us. We have a lot of kids in our neighborhood. At least 2 sometimes 3 times a week we have kids knocking on our door for my kids to come out and play. I love it!
If for some reason anyone does knock on the door when I'm not wanting to be around others, then I just don't answer.

It was a major pet peeve of mine.
Where we use to live it was door to door salesman grand central station.
It was absolutely INSANE how many times people knocked or rang the bell.
Some weekends we had people knocking every 15 minutes.
We HAD a No Solicitation sign up.
No one knew what it meant!
The strangest products for sale were - mystery meat out of someones trunk of their car (it might be beef but it could be goat, bear or venison - who knows?)- and - new furniture out of the back of a tractor trailer.
Buses with college kids from I DON'T KNOW WHERE dumped kids into the neighborhood to sell magazine subscriptions door to door.
Selling stuff wasn't enough - we were a neighborhood where people/politicians would come around to pass out Bibles and political stickers/posters.
We got people who wanted to give estimates for yard care, tree trimming, replacement siding/windows/roof.
If they showed up while I was working in the yard the fastest way to be rid of them was to hand them a rake and say they could talk only while they got some yard work done while doing it.
One time I just got home from work after picking my son (he was about 1 yr old) up at daycare.
The supper was burning on the stove, my son was crying up a storm, it had been a hot miserable day and work had been a mess that day too.
Right then the door bell rang.
I jerked open the door and yelled "WHAT?!?".
They took 2 steps back, said "I can see that you're busy. I'll just leave right now. Sorry to bother you." and they fairly ran down the driveway taking their brochures with them.
I wanted to put up a very large sign:

NO Solicitation

NO Trespassing

Do Not try to sell me things or services.

Do Not talk to me about religion or politics.

I Do Not want any estimates.

I Do Not want to take any surveys.

Violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

But they would have ignored it.
It was wonderful to move away from there.
Now we're out in the country and we finally have some peace and quiet.

I have 2 signs, a No Solicitors one, and one that says, "Shhh, baby sleeping. Please don't knock or ring." My neighbors know that this doesn't apply to them. They are welcome to ring or knock at any time, and do.

I put up the Sleeping Baby sign after the No Solicitor's sign failed to do its job. I haven't had a stranger knock on my door in a few years, and it is WONDERFUL!

ETA: I see ReverendRuby's point about the sign, but for me, the sign is for the solicitor's protection, because I lost my patience with them a LONG time ago and am no longer polite. The world is a constant stream of advertising--I don't need it coming at me at home when I am trying to relax. If I wanted to do that, I'd turn on the tv.

Everyone who knows me KNOWS they had better call first, so I can pick up and vacuum. That's just the way I am.

The only people who come to my door uninvited are Mormons and vacuum salesmen. I usually offer to give the Mormons a Bible, and I let the salesmen give my carpet a good cleaning. They asked for it.

I disagree with not welcoming guests into my home.....they are guests, by choice.

I am humbled by their choice to see me. Life's too short to throw away friends & family. Solicitors, I get. Friends & family, nope.

TO QUOTE: "Do friends/family just pop over to your house uninvited? Ours don't." "As far as I'm concerned, if I don't know you're coming over, you shouldn't be!"

Darlin', read your own danged words! :)

I worked in outside sales for years. I had more than one sales manager who said 'always go to the houses or businesses with the 'no soiliciting' signs most of the time those signs are put up because they can't say no and will buy anything.

Best idea get a lock for your gate.

I have a "no solicitors" sign. Sometimes my 15-year-old is home alone. I don't want the doorbell ringing, nor do I want her to ever open the door for anybody. There is no need for anybody to just show up nowadays, with cell phones, etc. And I certainly don't want any door-to-door sales people. I can't imagine ever buying something, or signing up for something, with somebody at my door.

You are not alone. Your home is yours. Others have no right to just show up.

Your home, your rules. I hope it helps with the brochures. That's not a problem here. But I do have folks knock on the door or ring the bell. I don't answer the door, or open it, even with a locked screen, for anyone I don't know. So that cuts down on a lot of the problem. And I don't feel guilty any more, I just feel safe. Take care and enjoy your sanctuary.

Our neighbor will sometimes come by when she sees we are home and we've done the same to her. Generally I like a head's up, even if it's "hey, we're in the area, can we come by in 10?" We put a no soliciting sign up after a problem with a roofing company. I think it's just manners to ask to come over and it shouldn't bother them to use the phone to call. What if you are showering? Sick? Dealing with some other issue? Heading out the door? Just ask. When the kids were older, there were a few kids that would come knocking, but I put them in a different category. They might ask the kid to come out with them, vs staying in. I'm not clear why you have your sign by the back door, unless it looks like a front door. But if someone asks you can simply say you have had issues with solicitors. Our sign says something like "No Soliciting! We have all the causes, religions, and services we need. Thanks!" So if you think that's more welcoming than what you have, try something with a little humor. You might still get a few, but we have only had one totally ignore our sign (she said she saw it and tried to launch into her schpeal anyway).

Nah, I don't think you're weird. We have a 'No Solicitors' sign at our front door, too. I made sure to buy a cute one on Etsy instead of a cold block letter one that you could buy in a hardware store. If solicitors still knock, I just say through a closed door, "No thanks!" One guy actually said incredulously, "Really?? You're not even going to answer the door?" I just replied "NOPE!" I mean, sign's right there, bud, are you a dope?

Our family doesn't typically just pop over, they mostly call first. But we have some good friends who will sometimes. Sometimes it's ok, sometimes I'm annoyed because I have things going on and they just want to hang out for hours.

Then there was this one night during holiday break and I went out to dinner with a girlfriend and left my husband and daughter home. When I came home my husband informed me that one of my daughter's 7 year old friends and her mother knocked on the door at 8 p.m. at night. Seems they had a Christmas present that they wanted to give my daughter. We've never met the mom and she got our address out of the school's directory. I mean, really?? 8 p.m. showing up on someone's doorstep that you've never met before? This woman is the PTO president and a mover-and-shaker at my daughter's school. So then they come in and my husband chats with her for a good 45 minutes! LOL! I had to laugh because if I had been home, she probably would have found me in my jammies w/out makeup at that time. How embarrassing! Thank God the house was pretty clean! :)

Just don't answer the door. Especially for solicitors. They annoy the hell out of me too! I think it is best to call someone and see if it is ok to stop by and not just show up un-announced. I have a friend, who if she didn't know you were coming by, she will NOT even open the door - regardless of who you are. You could be in the middle of anything or even nothing at all. You might not feel like having company or being bothered. I answered the door once for a religious solicitor, and I was trying to be nice and polite. We chatted and exchanged names and formalities. She left me a brochure and that was it, so I thought. This woman wrote me a 3 page letter once a year for about 3 years about how she was going to save my soul. Now I don't answer the door and if I am approached going in or out of the house, I just say that I am not interested and keep moving.

They used to until I confronted them, put signs up and said specifically---If you come to our house uninvited, expect to be turned away. I detest uninvited people and can't stand feeling like I have to host if people drop by.

Your like me, I don't like people even coming to the porch! :)

I live in a condo and it floors me the gall that some of the sales or religious people have to try to get to my front door! We have to buzz people to our hall and from there they can get to our door. We have an intercom system so I'll often say "who is it?" and some of them act like they live in the neighborhood! They'll say "I'm Jane from Maple Street" (or some street that's close by." So you let them in thinking they are a neighbor and they are NOT!

I'm a social person, and I'm always nice to sales people having been in sales myself so I know it's hard and there's a lot of rejection and rude people. They're just trying to make a living. So as long as they do it BY THE RULES then I'm really nice. But lying to get me to open the door--that makes me so mad! Also, once they're in they try to go to the other doors, and sometimes I have to usher them out the door.

I can hear the buzzers in the other condos, so if I hear someone buzzing all the doors, I just don't answer.

It's a different world out there than it used to be! I can see why people value their privacy.

I wouldn't.
The thing is, we live in a neighborhood in a rural area... so nobody solicits here. Nobody drives what they'd need to drive to "drop by" without calling first to see if we'll be home, because it is too far to come all this way and it be a waste. We aren't convenient to anything else... so if they are coming here, they are coming HERE... not stopping on their way somewhere else. The nearest store is 10 miles away. And that isn't even in town... just a rural grocery store that I don't use b/c I don't like it.

Basically, anyone visiting us, has to drive a minimum of 20 miles on the interstate to "stop by". Who does that?! Pretty much nobody---without calling first. :)

And all our family is close to 5 hours away (except for a SIL who recently moved to 90 minutes away). Too far to just drop in without calling ahead.

Please do what YOU feel works for you.

It is fairly common in our area to have "No solicitors" sign on people's front doors because there are SO many soliticitors who come to the door -- tree cutting guys, house painting guys, even real estate agents who troll neighborhoods looking for homes and knocking on the door to ask, "Do you want to sell this house?" So I would never think that putting up a "no solicitors" sign was "shutting yourself out of your community." The vast majority of the solicitors are not part of the community, they're just people looking to make a buck, and many are not licenced or reputable! Tell that to your relatives who think this is weird and ask if they would appreciate total strangers knocking on the door all the time.

It helps that our town has a law that you must have a town licence to solicit at front doors, and I've used that to drive folks away: "I'm sorry but do you have a town license to solicit door to door?" That's a question that gets rid of folks fast -- try it, even if your town doesn't have a law!

I had to put up small sign of "Do not leave cards, brochures, ads etc. in front door or in mailbox" because I got so many business cards stuck in the front screen door (mostly from yard/house companies). I had trash falling at my feet every day when I opened the front door.

You are doing fine. Don't listen to those telling you you're being unfriendly or whatever. And never, ever open the door unless you want to. There is no law or rule that one must open a door or answer a ringing phone either!!

We live in a very rural area ~ if someone is knocking on my door they are either friends, family or very, very brave!

Ditto Candace M! We have people coming over all the time without calling. Heck, many of them come so often they don't even knock, just walk in. It's kind of unusual that we have to answer the door! If we do, we know it's not a "regular" but they're still welcome. And like Candace, if it's not a good time I either don't answer the door or I answer and simply tell them it's not a good time.

I just finished canvassing for the Heart and Stroke Foundation as I am surprised by how many No Soliciting signs or broken doorbells I see. I assume those are the cranky old folks. I have never been bothered by people coming to the door. I have no problem telling people if I am not interested, but sometimes I am interested. If always look forward to meeting political candidates who come door to door, as it really help with my decision process. Sometimes it is a cable provider offering me a better deal than I would get by contacting the company myself. Even the Jehovahs Witness that comes to my door is the mother of an old friend, so although I am not interested in her religion I do enjoy staying in touch. I am usually up for a visit from the neighbours or friends, but they understand if I am not. My kids are at the age where their friends do just drop by to see if they can come in and play, or if my boys can go out and play. I like that my kids friends feel comfortable coming here. I am also a Block Parent. I have a sign in the window that lets people (of any age) know that I am home and my home is a safe place to come if they need help.

I don't mind family dropping by. I do not like solicitors knocking on my door. Not only is it annoying, it could be someone up to no good. I usually ignore the door bell when I know it is a solicitor. If I do answer, I tell them right off that I am not interested.

My brother had someome come to his door and two days later that same person went back and robbed his house - so the person was scoping out the place.

I have considered putting a no soliciting sign on our front door.

its your home and your life, do what you want with it. Including not answering the door. IF someone knocks, just dont answer. You have the right. Putting up signs and warnings DO cause people to think your un-social and cold. If that is how you like it, then let it be. If you are being hounded, dont answer, believe me they get the point soon enough especially if you dont answer and show that you are home. DING light bulbs will go off in there brains.

I don't like strangers at my door because, in this crazy world, you don't know if they are innocent or up to something. We live in the country though so we don't tend to get the random people.

I do hate it when people stop in at a bad time...not because they aren't welcome but because it is a bad time. We both work fulltime so when we get home at night it's time for homework, dinner, bathtime, bedtime, and hopefully a few minutes of down time before it's our bedtime. Someone stopping in disrupts that...then I am the one dealing w/ the consequences (daughter going to bed late, not wanting to get up in the am etc).

I don't mind when they stop in over the weekend if we don't have anything going on because it's not disruptive. They don't know my schedule so it works best if they call but if they don't mind chancing it and being told "Sorry, gotta go" then that is ok with me.

My MIL tends to call my hubby and then I get home and find out "mom's on her way over"...great, on a week night it means getting anything done is out the window. In the summer she'll call to see if she can bring out niece over to swim...hubby says yes (not a problem) but the niece doesn't want to swim without others and hubby forgets my daughter had other plans (like dance class) already. How many time can I tell her "You can check with him but please verify with me because he doesn't think"...I would have told her that "You can certainly bring Briana over but Chey can not swim with her tonight because we have dance class and will be leaving".

I'm right there with you. I don't like random strangers to appear at my front door, especially when I'm home alone. If someone wants to drop by, I prefer that they call first to let me know they're coming by. My homeowner's association has a no soliciting rule that is posted at the entrances and around the association, and solicitors consistently ignore it. I don't think there's anything wrong with putting a small "no soliciting" sign on your door. As long as it isn't directly in the center of the door and huge, I think it's just fine.

Not typically. On occasion my best friend will stop by just long enough to drop something off, but she doesn't drop in expecting to stay and visit unless we've made plans. We don't have family in town, so if someone is coming to visit then it is prearranged with rare exception, like once when my husband's mother happened to be traveling through the area and decided to stop.

Kids are a special case. I don't mind when my kids' friends drop by and want to play.

I used to not answer the door if it wasn't someone I knew, just to avoid solicitors and political/religious people. I'd have lights off in unused rooms, kept away from uncovered windows, and kept quiet to make it seem like no one was home. I've recently learned that what I was doing was an invitation to burglars. Sometimes people posing as solicitors or 'lost' people will knock on a door to see if someone is home, and listen for dog barks. They are looking for burglary targets, right in broad daylight.

I got this information directly from police a few weeks ago, when we came home from a very short errand (>15 minutes) to find a burglar still in our house. He had confessed and admitted to having knocked at a few doors before finding our house empty. This kind of burglary apparently happens all the time.

If you're not going to answer when the lawn guy knocks, at least make it clear that you're home and choosing to ignore him.

I keep an erratic schedule and my family and friends know that if they show up unannounced, they are likely to find no one home, and will have wasted their gas and time. They also know that I work two jobs, and if they wake me from a nap knocking on my door, I am going to be a less than gracious hostess.
I get very few door-to-door sales calls, but I do get a lot of door-to-door evangelists. Or at least I DID, until I started answering the door naked. I don't get as many of those anymore.

Liv B - Shortly after buying my house, I had a guy come to the door offering to install a wireless securtiy system for free in exchange for letting him put a sign in my yard advertsing his company. I told him that I had an old school security system - a pit bull and a shotgun. I then called the sheriff's office and was told that those "offers" are a way of getting inside your house to see if you have anything worth stealing and where your house would be easiest to break into, and the signs make the houses easy for the thieves to find when they come back. They sent a patrol car out.

ETA: A guest is someone I invite over, not someone who invites him/herself over. I love having guests - on MY timetable. If my neighbor knocks because he needs a hand with his injured cat, of course, I will help. If one of the neighborhood kids knocks because she has locked herself out and needs a place to wait indoors until her parents get home, of course she is welcome. That's not the same thing as showing up unannounced and expecting me to drop whatever I was doing and entertain you.

I think its two different situations going on here--family and solicitors. I am so lonely most times that I relish an uninvited guest or solicitor. I was raised in a happy, open down South environment so all of this formality between friends is new and not liked by me.

Drop on by!!!!!!!!

I feel the same way you do, and all of my family lives far enough away that unannounced visits from people I know never happen. If they did drop by I'd be happy to see them though. However when my doorbell rings, and I'm not expecting anyone, it's ALWAYS a stranger trying to sell me something or convert me to some religion, so I just ignore the door. If they pester the bell I answer it, but I give clipped monosyllabic answers, mostly "no" and "I'm not interested" until they leave and stop trying to squeeze blood from a stone. I'm broke people! Get off my lawn! And take your pamphlets with you!

I agree with you. I have NEVER had family or friends just pop over if they were in the neighborhood, I wouldn't answer the door. I don't answer it unless I know someone is coming over. I'm home during the day and my husband has a crazy ex out there. lol I don't even have to put a "no soliciting" sign up because it doesn't matter if they ring or not, I'm not answering! lol

I think that it's fine and not nearly crazy. It seems that you've had to take a somewhat extreme route in order to get your point across. I would, actually, like to build an electric fence around my yard. I reserve the right to close myself off on my terms, though, so I might not be the appropriate gauge. I honestly do not get the concept of just "dropping by". Even if I'm "in the neighborhood", I call to see if it's okay, and then I only stay a few minutes, if that. I think that it's generally a rude practice, and it's a shame that you have been forced to put up a barrier to say, "Please don't show up at my door unless you've been invited." Seriously, why should someone have to say that? THAT is what's crazy. You're fine.

I live at the end of a cul-de-sac, if someone's knocking on my door - it's on purpose.

We have a NO SOLICITING sign at the top of the street. It pretty much works.

I typically don't mind people knocking on my door. If someone knocks at my back door?! Well, baby you have another thing coming...that means there's been an accident on the street, otherwise - my back door is off limits. I would pity the fool.

Unlike you, we don't live close to our voting location....I loved it when Obama supporters came knocking on our door...we would end up laughing due to their lack of knowledge about the guy they were supporting!!

My boys are 10 and 12 (almost 13) and they ASK before friends come over, not because I don't want people here but because we might have plans.

During the summer and when they were younger, I had a DO NOT knock or ring bell sign on the front door - and put it up when we were taking naps....but again...not many people knock on our door that we don't know about coming over....

I'm with you. We have a no solicitors sign as well. One night, my husband was not home from work yet and it was late, like 8:00 and dark. Our outside light was off and the solicitor is knocking and yelling "Can I have a minute of your time!" Uh, NO. He could see we were home b/c out lights were on.

After a strongly worded email to our Village Manager, as to why these people are allowed in the village (they have to register before going door-to-door), I put up the sign.

I hate pop-ins and I don't pop in on anyone else. With cell phones, and texting and everything else, no need. Privacy, please!

I don't answer the door if I'm not expecting somebody. Our front door doesn't have a peephole (it has a big, round, stained-glass thing inset in it that prevents any kind of peephole from being installed), and I'm not about to open the door to see who it is. My friends call first, and I don't need to talk to solicitors.