I'm just wondering if there are any other moms on here that have lost custody of a child, or are going through custody battles currently.
Well my custody battle started many years ago, and went strait through seven years of hell. He is (and recently found out still is) abusing my 15 year old son. (Not the father of my girls.) My problem is this . . . being that they gave mr.wonderful custody simply because his financial situation was so much greater than mine, and even though he beat the crap out of the poor kid and damn near drowned him, I have NO faith in protective services or the system. My son is starting to endure all of this again and the issue is that all court documents are through the state of MI, I now live in NY and he has up and moved to FLA. I don't know what to do quite frankly. I don't want to see him get hurt, but at the same time if I call PS they could open a can of worms and make things worse which my son will ultimately get the brunt of it, and I can see them not doing anything. BUT I can't breathe not knowing how he's REALLY doing. I also just found out that every time I am on the phone with my son that his dad has me on speaker phone on his Nextel, so I cant come out and ask too much or his dad wont let me talk to him.
I could write a book on all I've been through over the last 13 years with this "wonderful" guy. I'm just not knowing which way to go. I'm thinking I should wait until winter when I get him up here again (my son for visitation) and see if he would be willing to stay here. (He has been brainwashed the same as abused women get ~ how they don't want to leave their abusers.) I know even know if NY would step in, how I would do this. I didn't have the money for an attorney then and nor do I have it now, and quite frankly I found it very discusting how convicts can get them easily and FREE, but for the welfare of a child you can't get help with anything legally.
I'm not overly stressed about this, after so many years it gets easier to handle, but I'm not at ease in the least bit.
Anyone of you have any idea how NY works if they would help me with this?
my ex husband has phyically custody of both my children- and they live in NY and I in CT I only get to see them 2 times a month or 4 days total. right now we are fighting so i can have more time with them. Very hard times... I can sympathize.
Hi A.:
Your email still brings forth a lot of emotion. I am not sure of your situation but briefly my situation was as follows. I lost custody of my beautiful boys 4 years ago when they were just 4 and 5, to my abusive and controlling, but very polished ex-husband. The happy ending is that I now have my boys back and have had them back for a year, and they are doing well. It was a long and arduous, financially draining battle. Ironically, I am now a lawyer but was starting law school when the custody battle happened. In fact, in law school, I wrote a paper on custody and found that my situation was not at all unique. I agree with the advise that you need a good lawyer -- You want one who has experience with your situation. Also, you often get what you pay for. During my first custody battle, because I was a student myself and had no money, I had an attorney who had not been practicing law very long and who did not have a lot of experience with a custody battle as complicated as mine nor did she understand domestic violence. My ex-husband's family had plenty of money and he had a very good, agressive attorney. I would be more than happy to communicate with you further but would prefer not to do it on an open message forum such as this. Please feel free to email me at ____@____.com will need a lot of emotional support from your friends and family during this difficult time.
Best of luck,
W.
I currently have joint custody of my daughter and am going through a nasty court battle in order to have her step-father adopt her. If you'd like to talk in more detail, you can email me at ____@____.com
I am fighting for custody of my 2 year old son. My ex-fiance has had custody of him since he was 6 months old. He and his family lied about me to get custody. The judge dismissed the case without hearing anything from my side!! I now live on an Army base here in NY and my son is 8 1/2 hours away in Ohio. My ex demands I come down at least once a month. I do, but when I go down for a week, I get to see him for maybe 1 1/2 days and that is it. He will not allow me to bring him here to NY not even for 2 weeks alone. I have had 2 lawyers (one free and paid for the other) and they both screwed me over. Now I can't afford a retainer fee and we are supposed to go back to court for visitation. I am at a loss as to what to do. My son is my life!! Check out myspace.com (look up D. Woodburn in the search area) and you can see my precious baby!!
I am the mother of 2 boys ages 27 and 19, My 19 year old was taken by his father in a custody case when he was 11 years old. He had him in jamestown for a little over 3 years, I finally got him back and have had had the time of my life. Mark is now joining the ARMY, he leaves in july. Custody fights arent easy. I am now a grandmother and have to fight for custody of my granddaughter. In feb. the mother dropped her off and said she couldnt do it anymore. That she was tired of caring for Juliana(age 5) and left her. Visited with her rarely until i went and filed papers for custody. The mom got a lawyer that told her to visit juliana 2 nights a week and every weekend. She told my son that she is doing it because she has too. But when we went to court, she stated that i am keeping her from her precious daughter and wants her back. I have never stopped her from seeing juliana. but my life is now all messed up with her schedule of visitation. Every weekend is tied up with waiting for her. It stinks. My fiance and i are raising his granddaughter as well. The mom is 19 and has no mommy instincts. We helped deliver her and after a week the mommy said she didnt want to be a mommy, she didnt feel like she could do it and wanted to give her away. Ray and I couldnt give her away so he filed for custody and got it right away. She is now 7 months old and beautiful. Believe me, its hard but i love it.
i am actually going thru the same thing.my bf kicked me out my house, well actually had me escorted out by an ambulance n when i went to get my daughter the next day he wouldnt give her to me.we had to go to court n now he has temporary full custody and i have partial.im scared i will never get my daughter back.
Yes I went through one years ago and ended up with a shared
joint custody (1/2 with mom 1/2 with dad) After being primary
Parent for 6 years and a stay at home mom.
My exhusband paid my rehabilitation alimony for 3 years so
I went back to update my education.
In the long run I think having a shared arrangement is important
one it gives you time to have a life
two it is important that the father bonds with his children'
because then he will be there financially and emotionally
and the kids will feel better too
going alone is difficult
So forget about the battle the lawyers who just want to cash
in and see if you can see above the emotinal mess
I have lost a 14 year old child to her father in an awful custody battle..... She chose to live there becasue of her jealously of my 2 1/2 year old and my husband. SHe gets more attention at dad's and he lets her get away with more. I finally gave in an just signed the papers. She was getting too rough to deal with and the attorney fees were piling up. I have a family that I also help to support and we did not plan in such big legal fees in our budget. I feel that one day my daughter will grow up and realize that she only hurt herself and she will see the a**hole that I know of as her father. Until then.....Daddy raises her. At least I got out of school clothes shoppign for a teenager this year!!! But on the other hand I have to pay a nasty amount each month in child support.
I am currently going through a custody battle. I was never married to the father, we were engaged and his mother cancelled the wedding. Anyway I have a 5 month old baby, whom the father is trying to take away from me. I get constant threats that he is calling CPS and they are going to take my son from me, etc. It is so hard, but I am trying to do what is best for my son!! Are you going through a custody battle? Or rather, did you (since this was obviously several months ago)?
At the present time i am in a custody battle with my ex for my 2 middle kids.Its been going on for 2 years now.he took them and i didnt know where they were.So one day he got intouch with me wanting to get back and so i lied and sai yes,we met up and i took my kids back.He told the cops me and my husband beat him up.so they came and took my babies and locked us up.They gave him temporary custody and now i am fighting for full custody with the hopes that i will get my boy's.i have them during the summer weeks and winter weekends and all holidays.I want them in my home going to school and being raised with there other two siblings.There dad barely has the money to take care of them and the area where they live is so dangerouse they really cant go outside and play(se dc)Its killing me but i hope and pray god send them back home.If you would like to talk we can also do that.its always good to have another to talk thats going threw what you are.
My im is princess_mahognay for (msn)
My im is princess_mahogany225 for (yahoo)
My im is ebonysunshine225 for (aol)
I lost custody of my oldest son when he was 8 years old but am now in the process of regaining custody of him now. His father (my ex husband) and his SM were not looking after him as they should and even had DCF called on them for neglecting their younger children. My son has medical issues that also were not being properly addressed. We should be back in court by mid September.
Hi A.,
I am a recently single Mother with a five year old daughter. I left my husband just about a year ago and he has been fighting with me for custody ever since. He was just recently granted joint custody and we now alternate weeks with our daughter. It's the absolute worst thing in the world for me. Despite the fact that my husband and I don't share the same values and are barely on speaking terms at this point, I have even considering moving back in with him so I don't have to give my daughter up every other week. When we were together he barely did anything for her. It's a rotten place to be and it doesn't seem to be getting any easier.
if yor son is 15 he can tell the courts he want's to live with you and why he will never have to see his dad agin
