Piggybacking Several Questions...Mom-ertainment

Mine is on the floor, hissing like a snake right now instead of picking up his room.

Ignoring is a good thing.:)

He's usually very capable of keeping himself happy and busy-- because that's how he's been raised too!

My sons an extrovert, being by himself is as stressful for him as an introvert who has to be at a big rocking party. It also rains here about 10 months a year.

So, no. I rarely if ever shoo him outside. He'd go bonkers. If he has a plan that involves being outside, I hardly need to tell him to go.

That SAID for the past 4 years Ive been homeschooling him (I have the opposite problem, I start losing my mind when he's gone all day, every day!). I also am a HUGE believer of 'boredom breeds creativity'. Entertainment machine is not part of my job description.

Do we usually have a lot of activities/time with others? Yep. We also have a lot of down time. He comes up with stuff to do on his own, he's just rarely doing it by himself.

Skatepark (indoor or outdoor if it's nice), playdates, gaming, snowboarding, basketball, cooking, cleaning, building (DIY home remodel), filming, editing... The list goes on.

If he needs me for it (transportation to/from, playdattery arrangements, etc.) he asks me. If its something he wants to do with me, he asks if I'll join him, if it's something solo... He usually chooses to work on whatever project in the same room. When not doing school, he's responsible for about 80% of his day. During school, about 60%. Of course, public school kids at MOST have about 20%. Going from 20% to 80% is a HUGE transition (for adults, as well, see any working mom to stay at home mom transition question!)

He's super independent, and rarely bored. He has TONS of things he lives doing / that full up his day. But many do require transportation. <grin> And I love 'sharing air' while we work on separate things in the same space. I honestly can't remember the last time he was looking to me for something to do.

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As far as the 2 kids thing?

I would have loved to have had 5-10 kids. Being pregnant triggers a fast acting cancer in me during my 2nd trimester (I've been pregnant several times, but he's my only live birth). I am now medically disallowed from having more children.

There are also many parent with more than one who are dealing with autism, severe special needs, medically fragile kids which makes it impossible for their kids to play together as yours do. Also kids whose personalities clash and they hate each other. Also parents who can't afford daycare (or heck, food) for more than one... And regardless of number of children.. Millions who live in apartments whee it's not safe to just send the kids out.

So while sure... more than one child is nice for those who can, esp kuds who get on together, you might want to pat yourself on the back a little less, and be grateful at your good luck a little more.

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Dont get me wrong, I'm glad what you have is working for you, and philosophy wise were pretty similar in the entertainment machine issue! It's just that what works in one family can best impossibly to a very bad idea in another.

I mean, as hard as you've worked for the life you want, your world could still end on its head in a heartbeat. One of you kids gets leukemia, and you're in the hospital for a year, have to move into a tiny apt facing a couple hundred k in medical bills. Or your beloved best friend loses his ever lovin mind and drains the accounts and takes off. Or you get in a car accident, job loss... So many things CAN happen, no matter how hard you work for what you want that take your previous ideals and toss them out the window. Making the good parenting in situation A, become bad parenting on situation B

We're not in the public school system yet, but I imagine that for many families the first few weeks of summer vacation are quite the transition.

Public school requires obedience and outside authority. School is structured and regimented. You get used to being told what to do and when to do it.

Summer comes and suddenly there isn't someone telling yah what activity to partake in, where to shuffle to and fro, there aren't thirty other students to be with.

Now, when I was in school, I looked forward to summer starting on day one of the school year. Being told what to do and when to do it was AGONY. Raising my hand to pee? Demeaning.

But anyway, I'm getting sidetracked. I had a hard time staying focused in school but there was never a day of boredom during the summer because I got to hang out with the trees and my imagination.

My children are still little, but they have each other and QUITE the imagination station. So, a lot of their day is spent outside by themselves (me at the kitchen table by the windows, checking in with them, and handing them snacks and water).

But, when they are in school and coming home, I'll expect a couple of weeks of adjustment. Get back INTO your imagination. You don't need to be told what activity to partake in, just create one! Maybe they'll scoot right back into freedom, or maybe it will take some time.

Different kids different patterns.

Oh, AND I had my eldest at a spend the night the other day. WHAT a difference! My little one was CONSTANTLY in my hair, since she's used to having a playmate. I can't imagine how she'd be as an only. I don't think I'd get ANY rest or down time because she'd be wanting me to be the playmate.

It's so hot out right now, and all of us are sensitive to heat so if we don't go out really early in the morning, we're not likely to play outside. But my daughter is pretty self-sufficient, she entertains herself pretty well. Although we've recently started doing more craft projects, which I generally lead, but we both like crafting.

Harder to do when you have kids don't have a sibling at home or an only
child.

Also, not as easy to do w/kids that are 3 or under.

We live on a busy street (ppl go 45-50 mph) & no sidewalks. House is
practically on the street.

I remember as a child practically living outside but we had a great
backyard that was fenced in, a quiet street & a cul-de-sac next to our
street.

My kids are 16 (spec needs), 12 and 9. My 16 yo is in her room coloring. My 12 yo is next door at the neighbors house with her friend and my 9 yo is at the Boys Club. Its 113 here today so they are not outside. We will go swimming after dinner when the sun is behind the house so the pool is fully shaded. Otherwise, they tend to keep themselves busy. They play on the Wii, computer, tv, board games and listening to music and playing their instruments. My kids are probably on the computer, wii and watch tv more than other kids during the summer simply because its too hot to be outside, but they make up for that in our winter when they are outside all day and night and every other state is inside because of snow/cold.

I'm a little surprised too at the moms that have the kids that need constant attention. Mine have never been like that. My 9 yo is more active than the other 2 but we are pretty good about keeping him busy, hence the Boys Club, but otherwise they all keep themselves busy.

I have combo kids. They love spending time with me and by themselves. Since I only have 2 kids, they play well together also. I agree that you should have a balance. Whatever they do, I try to watch them (be in the same area), not necessarily in the same room. Just so I can hear them. Hope this helps.

Wonderful post!!!

My boys are 8 and 14, and I LOVE having them around in the summer. I'm a teacher, so I'm with them 24-7 all summer long, but I am not here to entertain them. They are extremely creative and find all kinds of ways to fill their time, both together, and alone.

I expect them to do chores; we live on a farm, and it takes a family working together to keep things running smoothly, but they both have tons of free time. They play inside and outside (yes, even in the Texas heat) all day long, in and out of the water, inventing activities to keep themselves entertained. This has taught them to be extremely responsible and whenever they need to write or create something in school, they have no problem. Their creative juices flow easily.

Often I hang out with them because they are a pleasure to be around, but I never feel the pressure of "having" to entertain them.

I tell my kids to get lost on a regular basis! I have provided several entertaining things - tv, dvd, toys, computer, bikes.

But, I also like to make memories with them. My husband and I are always looking for places to take them. Even thgough we both work full time, we go a couple times a week - The park, splash parks, outdoor concerts, for long walks, bike riding, even just to the play place at Chick fil A. We go go go. It's more fun to go do things as a family than sit at home. They are better behaved when they aren't bored, fussing, and climbing all over me at home.

When my daughter was little she would say "I am going to go be invisible now Momma" For a while I was worried by her language..her "invisible". But this was her word for being alone, playing, creating and imagining!

Turns out she was making herself into a very self sufficient playing machine with an extremely creative streak. She loves to be alone (not overly social but does enjoy being invited to things, but not an initiator) , but not ALONE. She likes her quiet space to work on her art, watch cooking shows, superhero movies and to read everything in sight. But she does not like to be alone in the house. As long as she knows there is life outside the door of her room she is fine in there all day (and night) long and has been since she was a toddler actually!

Now she is almost 18 years old and a very talented artist (still introverted and shy I suppose). She leaves me in 6 weeks for a private Art College in Kansas City to continue making creative things while she is invisible!

Here here! My son has learned to play on his own since he was sitting up. 5 minutes here, 10 minutes there, grew to 20-30 mins by himself when he was a year old, and so on. I never had a behavior, adjustment or attachment problems with him. He is an only child too so he get plenty of attention. Going shopping has never been a struggle or point of stress, taking him to a doctor's appointment as well because he knew how to entertain himself when I needed him to. I live in a community where these moms are obessessed with finding every single cheap and free thing to do for their kids over the summer, or pay for long term summer camps and then complain about the cost. Its almost as if they can't stand spending time with their kids. All these moms almost take pride in dictating every single detail of their kids lives. No mistake though...I do believe you have to be resourceful and somewhat on a schedule so kids don't walk around the house bored to death first thing in the morning. But if kids can't find a way to play on their own, they will depend on their mothers for EVERYTHING. I know because all my son's friends are like that. When I say its time to leave, my son is the only one who goes and puts on his shoes. All the other kids have to actually hear the words "go put on your shoes" to do so. Otherwise they just stand there, oblivious to the world around them. When the kids come over to play, they aren't allowed to say or act like they are bored. If they start wandering around my house saying they are bored, then they go right home. Our house is full of bikes, scooters, balls, bats, tennis rackets, toys, books - if they can't find something to do at my house then its adios amigo...and they all know it.

Love your question. I'm sure it stirred the pot but it brought to light alot of issues that might really help some moms out there.

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i would do what you do except i don't trust the world to let my kids venture out. plus, i enjoy being out with them. i don't plan their every minute but i plan something on most days.

As my son is an only child, it can be hard for him to play on his own. However, the one thing that I dislike him saying the most is that he is bored. We just moved to Nh, and have a ridiculous backyard-complete with a pond and bridge. When he says he is bored, I just laugh at him. I give him a couple of choices, and he then is able to go and do something. Once I give him a list of what he can do, he's fine from there. I also keep him well stocked up on art supplies. That definetly keeps him occupied.