Pooping Nightmare

I can't help much with the pooping issue, but I can help with the fiber! I asked my doctor about it and he said the amount of grams they need is their age plus 5. I have gotten that answer from several doctors since then also. So if she is three then she needs 8 grams per day.

I think that is just one of those things that you have to wait out. I would just make myself decide that she is going to do it in her pants and just relax. When she does, clean her up and tell her that it would be so much easier if she would do it on the potty and then go about your business like it doesn't matter at all. She will soon come around. Sometimes I think that it just has to sink in and age has alot to do with it too. And sometimes that is their saftey net knowing that mommie will take care of them.
Just relax and wait it out.

J.,
Pooping is a control issue young children have very little that they are in control of and their own poop is theirs and you my dear are not the first mom to worry about poop. Talk to your family doc and find out just how long she can or should hold her bowel movements. Find out if she is having pain associated with her movements. If she is well then that is the problem, no one likes to poop if if hurts. Then you will have to adjust her meals to help her have softer bowel movements. Keep her out of her pull-ups they wont help. Time out wont help either. Tell her that she can hold her poop if she wants to, but she is not allowed to poop in her pants, the only place to poop is in the potty. If she poops in the potty, make a chart and give her a sticker if she gets x number of stickers then she can pick a treat or activity out of the I'm a girl who poops only on the potty jar. Fill the jar full of fun activities that she enjoys, reading fav story, playing at the park, ect. If she poops in her pants, then she has to pick a uh oh out of the uh oh jar. Make her do things like help clean her underpants, loose a favorite toy for the day or not be allowed to watch tv or listen to music. It is a battle royal of the wills you just have to try and outsmart her. Good Luck!
M.

We are right there with you. Our three year old little boy is doing the same thing. He asks for a Pull-up to poopy. I tried the same things you did--leaving it on for awhile, refusing to give him a Pull-up, etc. In the end we went back to putting on the Pull-up. Here's the deal--I have decided that kids do things in there own time. Some kids take a little longer than others so I think you should give it more time. I've mentioned this before, but you have probably never met an adult that still poops in their pants so don't stress about it. It will happen eventually.

P.S. I am able to stay home with my son and am experiencing the same situation so I'm not so sure that quitting your job, as someone suggested, would make a difference.

My daughter will be 4 this month. She had the same problem. When she was younger she had a problem with consitipation. Nothing worked, then one day about 2 weeks ago I caught her getting ready to do the dirty in her pants. I took her to the potty and told her to sit down, relax and take her time and it wouldn't hurt. It worked!!!! She has been going to the potty for #2 ever since with no accidents! I really have no answers for you, evidently sometimes it just takes time to finally click.

Reward, reward, reward and praise, praise, praise her for her successes! I used the sticker system and it worked great! I had to really dig to find the right stickers to do the trick, but it was worth the digging. I made a chart on construction paper with just the 7 days of the week and a long column. Every time she pees or poos in the potty, she can put a sticker on her chart. Don't expect her to jump up and down about the stickers right off the bat. The main thing is for her to see how proud you are of her. When my daughter was training, I drew the chart, placed the first sticker, and brought out the stickers right in front of her. When she peed and I told her I was soooo proud of her successes that I just had to keep track of them and that I would put a sticker on the chart for each time she went pee or poo. I had chosen those shiny glittery stickers shaped like butterflies and flowers, which she adored! I practically drooled all over the stickers saying how pretty they were and that only the most beautiful stickers would be used for when she pooed in the potty. She picked the "most beautiful" stickers and we put those aside for poos. She made all the choices! If I noticed that she was getting distracted from doing the stickers, I just kept putting them on anyway and making a big, HUGE fuss over the successes. I never, EVER, NEVER punished her for the mistakes. She got to where she wanted those poo stickers and she made every effort to get them. Sometimes she still reminds me of those stickers and I will still give one to her just because it's a good memory she has and I don't want her to lose it. By the way, make sure the chart is right down at her eye lever where she can reach it and view the pretty stickers anytime. Hope this helps :-)

Even though she is young, she is mad at you for working all the time & not spending enough time with her. So, she is getting attention by you, when you change her diaper or pull up. This will stop as soon, as you quit one of your jobs. And if you can't quit, then this will go on & on, until she decides she doesn't want wet panties.

Hi J., My little boy did this with poopy also and it would hurt him to go in the potty. they seated position made it uncomfortable. Sounds gross but I took him out in the back yard and he squatted and went. I of course picked it up and threw it out but that was a little easier on him. Once you get her to go somewhere else besides her pants she will eventually start the potty. I used the Elmo Potty game at SesameStreet.com after that and he started going in the potty. So try to let her listen to Elmo online and see if it helps.

Best of luck
K. S

I wouldn't make this a battle of the wills. She could be having trouble "pushing it out" while trying to balance on the big potty. Is she using some kind of potty seat?
Also, try to get her to eat an apple each day. Definitely having enough fiber will reduce hard, painful poops.

OK, I don't want to undermine anyone but as a mother of three who is almost finished with a degree in psychology, specialing in child development and family studies, we were taught to never never punish for these type things. Use positive reinforcement.

As a mom I can say I am guilty of punishing my kids when they had accidents, but the positive reinforcement worked much better. We made a big deal of it, clapped, praised and "had a poop in the potty party" when they went in the potty. When they had accidents, we would be very disappointed and tell them we were sad that they did not go in the potty like a big kid.

We used sticker charts and every time they went they got a sticker and when they went 10 times they got to pick something out of the treasure box. I had a metal lunchbox filled with stickers, small toys, candy, etc. and they got to pick what they wanted from it. Figure out something she really likes, as a reward and try to vary it so she doesn't get bored.

Good Luck.

I really don't know if this will work but a former co-worker that has 3 boys said shen they were going through potty training and they had poopy "accidents" She would make them clean it out of their own pantys and wash them. She said it didn't take them too many times of going through this till they realized it is much easier to just poop in the potty.
I haven't got that far with my baby boy. Hes' 20 months. My daughter now 8 yrs was EASY!
God help me with him.
GOod luck Jan

We told our youngest we would take them to Disney World if she would go on the potty. It worked and of course we had to go to Disney World! Which was obviously great for everyone!

When she poops in her pants, make her help clean it up. She has to throw it in the potty. You might even want to throw away the underwear (better yet, have her do it) because they are too yucky now. After she throws away her "favorite" underwear a few times and helps to clean up the mess, she might decide pooping on the potty is not so bad.

You could also make a sticker chart. Each time she poops on the potty, she gets to put a sticker on. When the chart is full (say, 10 stickers) she gets to pick out a toy at the toy store. Good luck!