Pre-School Accidents and Upcoming All Parents-Teachers Meeting

Updated on May 20, 2012
J.R. asks from Washington, DC
5 answers

Dear Mommas,

Regrettably in my son's pre-school there has been a series of pushing and other incidents that have resulted in 2 'bloody' accidents on the playground within 10 days of 2 different categories. one, a child pushed another off of a riding car and the boy's eye and eye area was very hurt -- bloody and bruised. WIth butterfly bandages after. One, a child rode the car too fast and flew onto hi sface

I have witnessed during drop-off agressive behavior go undisiplined. I have raised it before with the teachers. I believe that almost 4 months of irregular discipline has resulted in now almost daily incidents (from what I hear from other mothers) of pushing, kicking, pulling hair, pinching...and so forth.

Perhaps this is normal. Perhaps not. I have no idea. That is why I am writing :)

After the two incidents above, and apparently some others I don't know about, all the parents/teachers have called for a group meeting next week.

Question:
1. Is it normal to have 2 medium bloody accidents in such a short spate of time?

One I believe happened due to perhaps a lack of guidance ("You are riding too fast...."), although it could have happened anyhow. One happened because of some physical agression going unchecked, and now one incident became serious.

There are about 18 kids ages 3.5-4.5 and 2-3 adults at any one time.

2. If you were to participate in such a meeting, what would you expect to accomplish? What would you expect to hear from the teachers?

Thank you for your input as i strategize.

Jilly

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So What Happened?

Thank you for your good advice....
The meeting was difficult but actually productive. I think many parents were clueless before about the level of aggression. Other parents spoke up about what their kids were experiencing...In brief, some of the parents are seeking change through positive ways.

More Answers

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Is it normal to have two such incidents? Not when they involve something that is so easily fixed. Do the obvious.

The two incidents you mention were both centered on the car. From what you wrote it seems to be not some stationary piece of car-shaped equipment but a rolling toy kids can ride.

Get rid of it.

Make that the first thing suggested. The children have demonstrated that they are not mature enough yet to have this type of toy, or to share it, so it needs to leave. Permanently, not with a "You'll get this back later if everyone behaves." They have no business with a rolling toy like this if each teacher has nine kids under her watch. Some parent may whine that "It's not fair to penalize all the kids because one got rough over the car and another just had an accident!" But those parents need to toughen up because this is exactly how things will go in school, real school, from here on out: One or a few kids have an issue, the whole class loses something it likes. But in this case there is a pressing safety issue here too, not just a disciplinary one. I would not even announce this to the kids or say it's because Jimmy fell and Johnny hit, etc. I would just have it disappear before school starts one day.

As for the meeting: It's going to be tough to say, "I see undisciplined aggression at drop-off" without some parents instantly becoming defensive because they'll secretly feel sure you mean them. And in some cases, you WILL mean them, without saying so. It would be best if the school director takes the lead here and says something like, "I have heard reports of chldren being aggressive (and then be specific--hitting; kicking; etc.)...." The director should be the one doing this, not you and not another parent, or you may end up with either bitter silence among the parents or a shouting match.

I would hope, but not necessarily expect, to accomplish a "code of conduct for drop-off and pick-up behavior." Also, does every teacher have a very clear set of classroom rules that the kids know from day one? Simple, direct, and in a small child's language? Repeated a lot, maybe even every day at circle time? What disciplines do the teachers use? What gets taken away when a child breaks a rule, and what privileges are lost? What information goes home to parents, and how? (For instance--do you get a written note every day or every week that says "Jimmy had a problem sharing today" or things like that? Or "Jimmy got a 'red light' today for kicking"? Many preschools use a red/yellow/green light system-- with rewards for good behavior.) If your preschool has NO consistent system of discipline, removal of privileges and rewards -- I would really consider moving.

Ask the teachers what exactly they do when children are aggressive and what strategies they use. Ask if they need an additional classroom aide.

6 moms found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

The existence of a parent/teacher meeting to address the incidents inherently declares that it is not normal. I would be worried if the teachers were trying to sweep everything under the rug or minimize the problem. However, since they are openly trying to address the problem head on, with parent involvement, I think they are handling it responsibly.

I would expect a list of specific actions the teachers will implement to stop the physical aggression, and ensure all of the children are receiving appropriate supervision. The general categories they could make changes in are: how the day is structured, breaking up into smaller groups, keeping certain kids apart, implementing progressive consequences for inappropriate behavior, settitng up a reward system for good behavior.

Good luck!

4 moms found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Check your state ratios for child to adult. In the state of PA for infants it is 4:1 as in 4 infants under the age of 1 to 1 one adult, ages 1 is 5:1, ages 2 is 6:1 and 3 and older is 10:1, so in the state of PA they are within ratio.

The accidents, I can understand the one in the car but again could of been avoided with significant attention to the children but it can happen. The first one you mentioned should of been stopped before escalating that far.

With this age group if they can run over you they will. So the issue needs to be addressed that the kids are not being disciplined for the bad behavior and each parent should be told of this bad behavior daily as it is so they can talk and help on their end. This is not only a pre school issue but parents not being involved issue as well.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Austin on

Frankly, the pushing, kicking, hair-pulling, and such has gone unchecked for too long... I realize you have tried to address it, but they have not addressed it in a consistent manner, and as you see, it has gotten out of control.

Even with 2-3 adults, it seems that 18 kids is too large for a pre-school. I will admit, however, that it has been a long time since my kids were in preschool!

(3 adults/18 kids isn't too bad.... but 2 adults means that each adult is needing to watch/control 9 kids.... that seems a bit extreme.)

2 moms found this helpful
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K..

answers from Phoenix on

Why haven't you pulled your kid out yet? I highly doubt things will change enough for the kids to be safe. Most likely the administration will try to dismiss or ignore all of the problems & assure you that everything is okay.

2 moms found this helpful
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