Pregnant and Raising a Toddler

Updated on November 07, 2011
H.1. asks from Des Moines, IA
10 answers

God help me! I am 7 weeks pregnant with baby #2. I stay home full time with my 18 month old son. He's a handful to say the least! Now, all of my unpleasant symptoms are kicking in including severe exhaustion and morning sickness (albeit without the throwing up.)

I'm seriously struggling here. I have not thrown up but feel on the verge most of the time. I'm T-I-R-E-D more so than ever and it feels like a huge chore just to be here. I'm moody too, oh lord! Not only am I sucking at providing my son with minimal entertainment or interaction, but everything else is sliding majorly (can't bring myself to do groceries with a toddler, cleaning around the house, etc.)

We're not announcing the news for awhile yet so there's no calling to complain or vent. I have told my best friend but she's generally not the sympathetic sort. I have no family nearby to come give a hand even if I were to make up some other excuse (ie that I am sick or something.) My husband helps as soon as he gets home and on the weekends, but it doesn't even feel like enough.

I try to rest when my son naps (hence no housework getting done!) but it only feels good while I';m doing it and when I get up it feels like I never even rested. I have trouble sleeping at night as well.

I know this will all pass soon. But either I don't remember my first or it's just wayyyyy tougher to do while trying to chase around my very active little guy. LOOKING FOR ADVICE FROM MOMS WHO HAVE BEEN HERE!

What can I do next?

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

I have been there, it is hard my dear! First, have you tried Zofran, or SeaBands? They helped me tons. Also... anyways you can afford to send you child to a mother's day out program twice a week? It really helped me a lot when we could afford it. When we couldn't, I lay on the couch with my pillow, and just try to guide my toddler as best as I could. And yes, I entertained my child with pbs shows or baby Einstein. Some may avoid that route, but for me it was necessary b/c I have severe nausea the whole 9 months. I (or my husband) make premade snacks and lunch the night before, so we can just kind of nibble on food without me having to prepare it when I'm sick in the afternoon. Also, childproof the room as best as possible, so he will be good and safe.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

after the dr clears your bloodwk...low iron, etc.....

my advice: sleep as much as you can. Get your son outside & playing with other kids as much as possible....& then sleep when he does! Peace!

Oh, conversely, try going for a walk....it's an instant mood/spirit lifter!

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M.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

First your iron is prob low, that will help with the tiredness. It always happens with me in the beginning. I feel like I can't get across the room due to being so tired then find out I have low iron. Really helps.

Things that I did since I had no family for help and a DH that worked a lot.

Childproofed one room really well and gated it off. Then I rested on the couch in that room while my little one played.

Let my house go

Ate easy food and ordered out a lot. Think sandwiches for dinner or crock pot food if you can stomach the smell all day.

Do you have local grocery delivery? If not do your shopping when your DH comes home from work.

Loose the guilt for resting when your son naps :)

Take a Benadryl at night to help you sleep - My OB said they were safe to take, ask yours.

Hang in there.

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J.D.

answers from Phoenix on

Sounds like me twice now. I am currently 5 mos preg with the third boy. My first two were 20 mos apart. My first pregnancy I taught first grade the whole time and survived. BUt the second and third one were horrible with the nausea and exhaustion until about the 16th week for me.
My advice...have him play around you while you lay on the couch and do nothing all day. Show movies once in awhile. Just tell him you are sick. I was unable to drive due to dizziness for about 3 months. So of course no vacuuming, picking up toys, etc. I just let my house turn into a rec and hoped my hubby would help when he could. I was so sick I truly didn't care most of the time how it looked (which is not like me at all). I just tried to survive! It does pass-slowly. There were a couple of days in there where I had a really bad headache and couldn't even make him lunch/change him. My hubby took half days.
I also couldn't sleep at night at first but that went away too with the nausea and dizziness and extreme exhaustion.
Nowadays, at 23 weeks, I am sometimes tired, need to sit down after standing for a long while, get lots of pain in tummy ligaments, and have daily indigestion (mostly at night). You will get there in a couple of months. Good luck and hang in there!

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

My twin boys had just turned two when I found out I was expecting baby #3. My husband and I work opposite shifts, which had just started the week I became pregnant. I so feel your pain! When I would get home from a long day teaching, I would put on the TV (educational, of course!) and nap on the couch while they sat with me. Dinners were easy - crock pot or anything I didn't have to spend a lot of time preparing. Once you're out of the first trimester it gets easier.

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

Hang in there! I know, this time is so HARD. With baby #1 whenever you are tired, you could just lie down and rest. Not so much with the toddler roaming around the house. I hear you, I was never so tired in my life as I was that first trimester with #2 (#1 just turned 2 when I got pregnant). You have a few more weeks of it being probably really difficult...there's no way to sugar coat that.

But instead of dwelling on how hard it was for me, I decided that we would spoil ourselves. We watched a lot more Disney Jr. those few weeks, ordered out dinner more, let the housework slide during those few weeks (or better yet if you can afford a 1-time cleaning of your house, that will carry you for awhile), you get the point. This time can feel never-ending when you're in the middle of it, but sometime in your 2nd trimester, you'll get back all of your energy (or most of it) and then you'll be rolling right along.

And try to relish the time you have left with your first...pretty soon he's going to have to share the limelight with a sibling. This time with him is really precious!

Congrats on the baby!!

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

It sucks! It really, truly does! I feel like I'm carsick the entire time I'm pregnant. I'm am SO freaking tired I can barely drag myself from one place to the next, but I was determined that my 2nd pregnancy would be different than the first. By God I was going to FORCE myself to feel differently -especially since I had a 22 month old when I got pregnant the 2nd time. Well, it didn't work out that way, and I felt just as crappy and was even more tired because of the toddler! On top of it, we moved into a new home when I was 5 months pregnant, so the packing and unpacking almost killed me. I finally just reached the "F**K IT" moment after moving where I decided I would do what I could do; try to keep my son engaged; keep laundry done and some food bought and cooked and whatever else I could manage I did. I slept every time I could get my older child to nap (and I HATE naps normally). I got a pass/membership to a bouncy place so I could sit and watch my toddler jump and run around. We went to the Y every day -not so I could exercise (although that was my ruse), but so I could put him in childcare while I snuck off to a quiet corner and read a magazine. We made it though! I was bouncing off the walls with energy just a few days after coming home from having my 2nd and my mother commented that she thought it was strange. I told her, "I haven't felt this good in almost a year!"

Hang tough! Just do what you HAVE to do -don't force yourself to do anything extra. Tell your husband he may have to pull some double duty because you feel really awful. You'll make it, but I do feel for you!

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M.T.

answers from New York on

wow you were me this time last year. I could have wrote this post myself. THe best advice that I can give you is take care of yourself. RIght now that is your job to grow a healthy baby. The house work can be saved for when your husband is home and that should only be the nesesity cleaning don't go crazy. As of entertaining your son...this is a good chance to get your son to entertain himself because even after the baby is born he is not going to have your attention 24/7. My daughter is 2 and my other daughter is 4 months and my 2 year old is just now getting good at entertaining herself. SHe still wants someone to play with her alot but not 24/7 like it used to be. As for food shopping, I don't have familt close by either but my mother-in-law comes down once a week to help with the food shopping. Maybe find a babysitter or someone that you trust to watch your son for an hour while you go food shopping alone. I had really bad morning sickness too so take a min. if you don't feel good. I know you hate hearing this but in a couple months you should start to feel better and things do get better. Take a deep breath and try not to be so hard on yourself.

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J.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

I am sooooo sorry!!!! As others have already mentioned, it WILL GET BETTER!!! The sooner the better, right!? My advice would be to try to get up and go for a walk first thing in the morning. If you don't feel well enough, you don't have to go far. This might help get the 18-month old more tired so he takes an earlier or longer nap. :-) It might also give you some more energy.
You can do a lot in 5 minutes if you put your mind to it...set a timer for 5 minutes, and quickly throw some dishes in the dishwasher, start a load of laundry, and vacuum the living room. When the timer beeps, sit down and REST with a large bottle of water. You'll probably have an easier time resting knowing that you've accomplished something (even if it might be minor.)
My first was 15 months old when I got pregnant with my 2nd. I felt like a horrible mother when all I wanted to do was sleep on the couch all day!! (So I know exactly how you feel!!!) I wish I had some better advice, though......the best I can do is tell you that you won't feel this crappy forever! :-) Oh, and get a baby gate so that the baby is safe in the room that you might doze off in.
Good luck with everything!!

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E.A.

answers from Atlanta on

I have to ditto a lot of the advice here. I'm 34 weeks with #2 and #1 will be 2 in a couple of weeks. Let as much of the housework go as you can. While you will probably be tired the whole pregnancy because you do have a little one to take care of, it will get better. Lay down as much as you can. Do not feel guilty about extra tv at this point. Lay on the couch and let him sit on the couch with you. He might be able to start fiddling with some (washable) crayons and a coloring book. Try some of the mega blocks - those are easy for him to do on the couch. See if your hubby can go to a local thrift store and load up on cheap board books. Then you have "new" toys to pull out for your son when he's wearing you out. There are some great toy animal sets on amazon from a company called "learning resources" - one set of those, pulled out one at a time, is another way to keep him entertaining himself while you're supervising him and laying down at the same time.

You can do it - just make yourself the priority. Good luck! I'll be thinking anti-nauseous thoughts for you.

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