Public Speaking Tips

I didn't read through the 12 other responses, so maybe you got this tip already. When I'm super nervous about speaking, I clench my muscles tight, hold for 10+ seconds and release. My college speech teacher had us do that before speeches. He said there is some sort of hormone or adrenaline causing an issue which tenses us up, but if you do the clench/hold/release, it lets that hormone go and you can actually physically relax. I swear it works and he can do it in the several minutes leading up to his speech.

BREATHE
The most important thing is to remember to take a deep breath as you are about to talk. It helps to relax you and give you a moment to think. If he gets nervous take another deep breath.

Hi J. L,
Here are some tips from experience:
1. it is natural for all of us to be nervous before a speech. I lecture at a college, have given numerous talks throughout my career and I still get nervous. try to turn that nervous energy into positive energy.
2. the nite before a speech, like an athlete: try to envision giving your speech -- from start to finish. and finishing and feeling really good about your talk. envision your audience liking your talk and applauding.
3. when you approach the platform and are about to speak. pause. look down at your remarks. breath. look up. smile. pause and begin. that is. begin relaxed and with a smile.
4. Try to share with your husband that giving a speech is merely an extended conversation. and to relax.
5. take a look at ronald reagan giving speeches. he was a natural. go to www.americanrhetoric.com.... i learned a great deal by seeing how comfortable he was. he really 'gave' his talks. it was as if he was talking one on one, to each member of his audience.

best of luck.
write me offline if you want more tips.
jilly

I do public speaking quite a lot and for some reason there are times that I'm nervous and there are times that I'm quite confident. I'm now in my early 50s and I think that age does affect our confidence negatively - and there seems to be a difference in our hormones as well.

BUT - it could be that the best way to boost his confidence is to make passionate love with him a couple of days beforehand. For men, knowing that they're desired and respected is so much of what they need. After sex remind him that he's an expert in this area - and he was asked to speak for that reason. 9 times out of 10 the audience knows much, much less than the speaker so even errors are rarley detected by the audience. Also - most people in the audience want the speaker to do well. So unless your husband is an arrogant guy that no one likes his audience will want him to be successful in his talk, they will not be critical.

So to sum in up, he will be speaking to group of people who know less than he does about the subject, they want him to do well - and heck he just had killer sex with his wife the other day so he must be good. ;o)

You are a loving wife to want to encourage your husband. You go girl!

Take a few deep breaths before he begins.
KNOW the subject matter (sounds like he does!).
Choose a few visual points around the room.
Make eye contact with everyone at some point during his presentation (if it's not, like 200 people!)
Practice beforehand.
Use an ice breaker (anecdote, detail, joke IF it applies to the situation), it will get everyone loosened up.

Fear of public speaking has nothing to do with your personality -- it is just like, say, fear of heights. Doesn't matter if you are shy or not, confident or not.

Oh, boy, did I have this problem. It was terrible. I had stage fright, not once, but twice -- and after the second time I vowed it would never happen to me again, and it hasn't.

What I found has worked -- practice, practice, practice, practice what you are going to say. Do it standing up, facing yourself in a mirror, preferably in a large and open space (like outdoors, even), and/or preferably with an audience (like you!), and get all your nerves out that way. Try to anticipate what questions will be asked and the ways you will answer them.

If your husband can have access to the room in which he will be speaking, even better. Like, after hours, maybe he can chat with security to open up the room for him so he can practice there, get himself used to the way the space feels, how his voice sounds in the space, etc. I have done that a few times and it worked very well.

And when I say practice, I mean -- I have (and still do) spent hours, like 4-5 hours, literally practicing what I will say until I practically have it memorized. I have found that the more familiar I am with my speech, the less likely I will unravel if I get up to the podium and I feel my nerves settling in.

Another tip -- speak deep and slow. Like, when I feel myself getting nervous I slow my pace to what feels sort of awkardly slow to me, but to the audience it does not feel that way, trust me. It helps slow your heart rate. Also, even if you are stumbling a L., speaking in a deeper voice sends a message of confidence, so the audience is less likely to perceive that you are nervous.

Finally, bring water. If you get nervous, the mealy-mouth texture of a dry mouth from nervousness will not help. Pausing to take a sip of water will help you relax.

Think about the his interest in the topic and not about the people in the audience or about the importance of the event.

When knowledgeable people speak about something they are really interested in, it is interesting to listen too. Its fun to listen to an "expert" talk about an idea that they are passionate about.

Sometimes the people are naturally funny or gifted speakers, but sometimes they just have a neat idea they are explaining.

If people can tell that he is interested in what he is talking about, they probably will be as well.

Last night I saw the movie "Larry Crown" with Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts. She plays a College Professor that teaches Speech.. Her character gives great advice and you get to see the different characters in the beginning give a speech and then in the end give their speeches.

It was enjoyable and it is everything I remember from speech classes..

I think you all will enjoy it and it will help your husband relax.

I always write out an outline..

Then I practice and tweak it..

I also have had my husband record me, so I can go back and edit myself.. This way my notes can include some L. reminders..

Since he has a lot of experience, he probably knows the usual tips... But maybe standing up and practicing would help. I'd be uncomfortable without a podium but if he could practice at one, maybe he'll see that the podium isn't so different than sitting down bc most of your body is blocked. If he's been successful at presenting in the past, I bet practicing in front of a podium would help if he can get access. Otherwise, my doctor gave me a drug once that actors and actresses apparently use. It's not valium or like that. I think it's heart related. It jsut helps your heart to not race. I don't need it anymore but it did help when I first had to make big presentations after never doing much public speaking at all. Perhaps he could ask his doctor... What I'd remind him too is that it's way better to speak slowly if he starts to get nervous than speed up. When I see a coworker starting to speak faster, it's obvious he/she is nervous and that makes it all worse. They can't catch their breath as easily which makes them more nervous and it spirals down. Slow and confident even if he's saying nothing worthwhile makes a much better impression. Somehow telling myself that getting nervous is the worst thing I can do has helped. Bore them to death but just don't start the fast talking thing. Seems circular but it's worked for me. And practicing ahead of time OUT LOUD. I can look at slides and think "oh, I'll just say this and this" but then when I go to say it, it doesn't flow when it comes out so I have to really practice EXACTLY what I"m going to say for each slide. What's good about that too is if he does get off course for a minute and starts to get nervous, he should be able to find a place in his "script" again and get back on track. And tell him not to worry as half the time audiences are likely not paying attention anyway! :)

He is well prepared because he knows his stuff. That's the biggest thing. Don't do a lot to try and build him up, that only calls attention it and makes ya more nervous!

The 2 best things are -
1) have something in his hand. A laser pointer, a stick, a microphone, anything.
2) have a prop to work with. If there is a power point presentation, he can look at that and direct everyones attention to that, so they aren't looking directly at him. There is nothing scarier than standing at a podium, fidgeting, not knowing what to do with your hands and meeting the stares of all those eyes. If he can turn point to the screen, the eyes are no longer on him and if he forgets his place, the power point will keep him on track.

Practice helps.
Know what you are going to say, then say it and try not to have anything else on your mind while you are saying it.
My boss can be wonderful when it comes to speaking to a group on conference calls.
But, if she's multitasking, trying to do too much, reading texts from people, etc
more than half of what she says is 'um'.
It's almost turning into a betting pool trying to predict how many um's she'll say per meeting.
Um, I wish she'd um cut it um out!
As for your husband, well, he did this last year, so it's not his first time.
And he felt it went badly last year and - they didn't stone him!
He should consider he's had the worst already happen and he survived.
So now he can relax and it can only get better from here!

I can speak anywhere but I have to know my stuff. In other words I speak I don't read note cards. It is the only way I can relax. :)

Hi J.-

Is there a particular reason he cannot 'sit' for his presentation? In this day and age...even if he needed a mike...there are some that attach to your clothes...or he can hold one...or a mike stand can be set up next to his chair...

I think a 'comfortable' speaker is likely to do better...make him comfy!

Best Luck!
michele/cat

What about making arrangements to speak from his seat? Lots of professionals do, and a quick phone call to whomever is organizing it would make this a reality. People have all kinds of requests when preparing to speak in front of others, and if sitting down would help, make it happen! Organizers TOTALLY understand and will accommodate. They are grateful that he is willing to share his expertise. It sounds like a bad experience is his most recent memory. Let's get him a few positive ones and he'll be back on his feet (literally!). Good luck to him!

I don't care for podiums either and tend to move around the front a bit unless I am using Power Point on a screen. Make eye contact with everyone and ask questions to get an affirmative answer. He knows his information, I do much better if I don't spend all night worrying about it. Can he remove the podium yet stand and have movement?

He can join a local "Toastmasters" club.
It helps people of all kinds, do public speaking and presentations.
Just Google search one for your city.

Many celebrities, get nervous too.
So it is not just your husband.
It has nothing to do with "confidence."