Push Present

Updated on July 30, 2012
N.P. asks from Mobile, AL
46 answers

After my SIL had each baby, my brother bought her a gift. Nothing super expensive just a necklace with the 1st and bracelet with the 2nd. He would give her a card saying how awesome she did, how much he loved her etc. My husband didn't buy me anything and I am ok with that. I was just wondering if all dads do this and I was left out or if my brother is the sweetest guy ever(which I have always thought)?

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So What Happened?

My SIL never asked or expected anything. Yes, the baby is the gift but it is also a lot of hard work to carry and deliver a baby. My brother did this out of pure kindness and love for his wife. If your husband does not get you anything, that does not mean he does not love or respect what you did. Rather it be flowers, jewelry, stuffed animal, etc you know your husband was thinking of you. So for those that think the "push present" is stupid, showing you care for your wife is stupid? I never asked or expected anything. I was just wondering if this was a common thing.

Featured Answers

K.L.

answers from Redding on

I have heard of them but know no one who received one. My husband bought me yellow roses the first time. Someone told him that was terrible but he knows my favorite flower is yellow roses so it was fine with me. The 2nd baby was born February 9th and he brought me red carnations with hearts and a tag saying you are my Valentine. I thought it was sweet, (but bet he had no choice). Ive always thought a gift after having the baby makes the men sound guilty of something. As if they are saying "Im sooo sorry I put you thru the pain of delivering my baby"..I had such easy pregnancies, labors and deliveries, I dont think it crossed his mind that it was a problem..lol

2.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Nope, my hubby did get me anything. But in his defense he is really good about getting me things for other events....anniversary, etc.

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L.M.

answers from Dover on

I think the idea of a "push present" is ridiculous. To answer your question, no I didn't receive one with either delivery but did not want or expect one.

I don't think a push present is necessarily the same as "showing you care for your wife". I do realize that some my be showing they care with the gift but some woman "demand" a push present. The need for a push present is stupid/ridiculous since "pushing" is part of pregnancy. It's not like you have the pregnancy and not have a delivery.

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F.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Everybody celebrate milestones in their own special way.

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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

I think it's funny how mad this seems to make some people here. Maybe it's the dumb name? My husband didn't give me a present after giving birth but he did and does show in a million ways how proud of me he is for carrying, delivering and mothering our girls. After both home births and perservering over a very rough first time breastfeeding experience I was like a rock star in our house. I think most loving, sweet Dad's are kind of in awe of us Mommas after witnessing us give birth. A gift is sweet and jewelry is something she will wear to be reminded of that awesome experience. People shouldn't be so aggressively against something simple and sweet. Kinda sounds like they're jealous ;)

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L.M.

answers from Norfolk on

My mother told me about the idea of a "push present" (as an excuse to spend more of my Dad's money on me! <grin>) But my husband didn't give me one, per se. (Personally, I think the term is a little on the crass side.) When we got home from the hospital, hubs nearly immediately went out and got me a glider and ottoman as a comfortable place to nurse. Then, when we were having latch-on difficulties, he ran out and got me a pump....

He did take the cue that it was time to "spoil" me with anything I might need, but a momento of the occasion.... unnecessary. Also.... I never got to the push stage. I had c-sections. <shrug>

You do have a sweet brother.

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J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

I didn't receive a push present from my husband for any of our kids. I did receive a push present from the mothers of the two boys I gave birth to. That was a little different though. I was giving them their child via surrogacy and both mothers were so grateful to have the child they longed for that they got me something.

Personally, I don't see the need for a push present. Pushing gives me my present...my baby.

I agree though, your brother is a very sweet guy!

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

i know a lot of women that demand/expect presents - big, flashy, expensive presents - i think that attitude is ridiculous and turns into a "my husband is better than your husband"(ironically, the big/flashy present guys are not the hand holding/diaper changing types lol!). my push present was the baby and a supportive partner. all i wanted out of him was support. i don't think it really occurred to him to run out and get me a gift, it would have been a sweet gesture, but like you, i'm okay with it! i think it's sweet of your brother - it doesn't sound like a gift was demanded, but given with a genuine giving spirit - very sweet :)

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B.P.

answers from New York on

The last thing I would think about is a present after having a baby. I mean, seriously, you experienced a true miracle and you are thinking about jewlery? I think its a nice thought if you are into it and of course it's always great for your husband to acknowedge you. It is not my thing but I do remember my MIL showing me the ring that she wore everyday that her husband gave her when her son was born. It sounded sweet. The term "push present" just sounds bad though.

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M.F.

answers from Houston on

I am really late in responding, but my hubby gave me Godiva chocolates and a gift card to my favorite clothing store so I can get some new stuff so I can feel pretty ;-) in don't wear jewelry. It's just a nice gesture and he also brought the nurses chocolates too. I don't think it's stupid and yes the baby is enough, I don't have babies to get chocolates! I am surprised how many responses there were thinking this was ridiculous, as if to get a present means I am less excited about my baby than someone who gets nothing...

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C.W.

answers from Allentown on

I've had 5 kids and no push presents, and that's okay by me, lol!

You're brother is very sweet.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I think it's an old fashioned notion, and it is something that IS mentioned in my book of etiquette, like the proper gift for a particular anniversary, or the appropriate way to address a card.
Personally I LOVE old fashioned notions and think your brother is a sweetheart and a gentleman. We could use a lot more guys like that!
p.s. no my husband never gave me anything, it just never would have occurred to him (or me for that matter) we come from pretty "rough" stock ;)

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L.A.

answers from Dallas on

I gave my husband a Bits Bonus when he had his vasectomy. :-D

He did treat me and pamper me and, pun intended, baby me, after both our babies. Not one specific push present but just a whole month of me being the light of his life, second of course to our new baby!

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

wow..... what a sweet brother!

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K.K.

answers from Austin on

No my husband did not do this mainly because I think it is so stupid. He was extremely supportive of me during labor and having our children at home.

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D.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your brother is just the sweetest guy ever. :)
My hubby got me roses. For our first one it was two red and a pink one (was a girl) and then with the boys with was two red, one pink and a white for each boy. - him just being creative without spending $30 for a dozen. But i loved it.

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A.B.

answers from Tulsa on

I didn't. BUT he got me a bacon cheese burger and a chocolate shake from my favor restaurant!

M.L.

answers from Chicago on

nothing - and after the babies were born it was as if I wasn't in the room. After 4.5 years - still only pays attention to the kids.

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J.P.

answers from Denver on

Hi--
I got a necklace with the first and a family ring with the second. I didn't expect it---he did it to celebrate our new family. :-)

S.T.

answers from Denver on

I didn't expect anything by any means, but my husband did have a beautiful necklace engraved with our son's name "Hudson" on it that he gave me after his birth. It's the sweetest thing he's ever done for me. I agree with other moms though, the most important thing is that he is there and is in supportive. I certainly would not have been upset if he didn't get me anything, it was just a nice little surprise!

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I never thought about a gift from my hubby after we had our kids. BUT I CAN tell you this -- he is a supper great dad and hubby - he has changed as many diapers as me - got up in the middle of the night with sick kids - and been to all docotrs appt with the kids - even when I was prego - so would not trade that for anything :)

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think you just have a very sweet brother. :) I have never heard of a push present until reading your post and I have two children. So obviously I did not receive anything except a healthy baby and that was plenty for me. He must just be a romantic :)

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H.T.

answers from Knoxville on

All of the men in my family have always given their wives a gift after childbirth, starting with my own dad. My husband gave me a pearl necklace when our daughter was born and sends me roses on her birthday every year. We live in the south and it may be a "southern gentleman" thing. I'm 36 weeks along with our 2nd little girl and I can tell he's already up to something! PS: I think the term "push present" is pretty uncouth and demeans a very sweet gesture.

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

The push gift is common. Not something all women get, but enough that my husband knew what it was when I mentioned it. I do not think any of our close friends got one though.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

It is a sweet gesture, but I only know of one other man who does it. And, he's not very thoughtful for any other occasion (nothing for V-Day, annviersary, Bday, etc).

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D.T.

answers from Detroit on

I read about the "push present" in one of my chic lit books I was reading while on bedrest with my twin boys. I mentioned it to my husband as I had never heard of it before either...and as a little hint, hint ;) I had a c-section, and though I never had the opportunity to "push", I did have what is considered "major surgery" as they cut thru every muscle in your core. Regardless of how you have the baby, whether you get a present from hubs or not, the real gift is a healthy baby. I have read and heard about newlyweds giving eachother gifts as they are off to their honeymoon location...I thought the gift was the wedding and the honeymoon...so what do I know?? :)

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

sweet guy, plus it's the new hollywood thing!

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

Nothing here. But mothers day is always honored with a gift. Isn't the baby enough of a gift?

D.M.

answers from Rapid City on

With our first child my husband got my a teddy bear. ( i love them) and i didn't ask or expect it.

A.L.

answers from Dothan on

Your brother just went from Prince to King! Be sure to tell him! What a guy!

NAH...not 'normal' behavior but...WOW!!! ;)

I have had 4 babies & no gifts, but my first husband (one child) was a wonderful man who showered me & my new baby with so much love & caring who needed a gift? My second husband (three babies) was a creep who later told everyone he didn't know if the babies were even his!

Yeah, I KNOW...what was I thinking!?!? Duuuuuuhhhhhh life's lessons learned...young & dumb is my only defense!

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S.W.

answers from Dallas on

I sure did! A fabulous pair of Christian Louboutins!!!

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A.W.

answers from Chicago on

What a sweetie your brother is! I never heard of push presents! I did get roses when my daughter was born. I never expected anything though.

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A.L.

answers from Dallas on

I know a lot of people who got nothing, and many who got push presents. I basically told my husband the first time that I should get a push present, and he acted like "well, of course." But we had to take into consideration when they would be born and money. So, I always get my push presents on the following mother's day, so it seems to be a gift for both. And I like their birthstones. So I got a peridot necklace for the first son, and an aquamarine ring for the second. It really doesn't matter if husbands give them or not. It was just nice to be acknowledged for what I had done, and the jewelry for me is a constant reminder of my boys. And I like jewelry a lot. Some people get other things. Whatever works!

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I think your brother is sweet.

I think push presents are crazy. I did not get one or expect one... I was thankful for a healthy baby girl. My hubby did give me roses which was a very thoughtful gesture that was appreciated.

I worked with a girl who expected a push present and bragged about how she was making her husband give her diamonds. Not surprising... she is one of the most selfish people I know.

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

My husband brought me lunch, does that count? I have never heard of a "push present" so I guess I am not hurt that I didn't get one. lol
He held my hand through my labors, he wiped my tears, he sang to the babies, he cried when they were born....I can't ask for anything else.
L.

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A.K.

answers from Miami on

Push present. Though the name is a bit silly, I do agree with the idea. Here’s the reason:
People are getting the wrong idea about the tradition. The tradition is designed to give the mother something that she will have for the rest of her life that commemorates her experience of bringing a new life into the world. The actual gift itself should be symbolic of an endless love and desire for protection of the mother and child throughout their lives. It’s deep, emotional, and beautiful. That being said, new shoes would not fall into the category of a “perfect push present”, and it is not a selfish act but rather a self-LESS act of kindness and joy. Juno Lucina just launched a whole line of beautiful push gifts for new mothers (www.jlucina.com). That is what the perfect push gift looks like.

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M.M.

answers from Lake Charles on

He's sweet some guys do it and some don't.. I think the one's that don't have just never heard about it because my hubby is the sweetest man ever and I know that he's never heard of anyone doing it (even though I have). I think push presents are a great way to make a mom feel good and with all the attention on the baby a "good job" sure does feel amazing. If you want one then you should be like "so and so's hubby got her this as a push present.. how cool was that?!" Actually.. I may try that haha!

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

mine didn't, pretty sure he has never heard the term "push present". i think it's sweet but not really something i would expect or feel i needed at all. i am thinking those guys who buy them are also pretty thoughtful about lots of other things, and my husband (like many) just isn't. but he has other qualities that make up for it. (why are all the most awesomely sweet guys our brothers?? lol! i have the same problem! :))

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E.M.

answers from Phoenix on

I got a simple silver bracelet a few weeks after my first son was born with his name and birthday engraved on it. With my second son, I asked for an e-reader so I could have it in the hospital...I got that about 6 weeks before he was born! I never thought of them as "push presents," just welcome gifts acknowledging everything I did to get my sons here. The pushing was the least of it!! C'mon, when you compare what we go through with their contribution (no matter how amazing they may be during pregnancy), is it really that awful to enjoy a little gift, you know, for the effort??

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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

I actually gave my husband a gift for putting up with me during my first pregnancy! He was SO great with getting me stuff I was craving at all hours and rubbing my back and feet every night, along with countless other things. So I got him a Samurai sword as a thank you.

Our second daughter was born a few days before Mother's Day and he got me a ring with two pink sapphire hearts on it - I love it more than my *engagement* ring! For our third daughter he got me a little pink ipod.

I never expected anything; my healthy beautiful babies are gift enough. But it was sweet that he thought to get me something at all :o)

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V.B.

answers from Houston on

I got something small with both of my kids, but my husband is the sweetest guy ever (apparently in competition with your brother ;-)), so he may not be in the majority. I didn't expect anything, but he is just generally very thoughtful about things like that. He goes all out for my birthday and our anniversary every year too. I wouldn't be upset. I'm guessing my husband researched this concept since he is also the biggest nerd ever! LOL!

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J.J.

answers from Tulsa on

I haven't ever heard it called a "Push Present", but yes my husband did get me a necklace. I had seen it in a Red Envelope catalog, it was called "Loving Arms" and had 1 pearl in it to represent one child. I mentioned that would be neat to have someday soon after the baby and he gave it to me the night she was born. I still wear it to this day. It's just special, it wasn't that expensive, and it was just a nice gesture for my new role. It would have been great for my 1st Mother's Day too, but I had a hard pregnancy & delivery even and I guess he felt it was a special thing to do. I gave him a T-Shirt that said "New Dad" on it, so maybe it was cheesy, but he wore that all the time that 1st year. Even though they were small things, we just appreciated one another and our individual roles as new parents. He is a great Dad - helping every step of the way (which is way more important than a gift). I'm glad he gave me my special necklace when he did, but it wasn't a must. I think most guys don’t think about that type of gift (and I agree the real gift is the child, and a second huge gift is a helping Dad). Keep in mind, I had put the dots pretty close to together for my husband (pointing out exactly what I wanted), just saying someday that would be lovely. I only have one other friend that received a gift from her husband, so I don't think it's all that common, just something a few guys do.

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A.R.

answers from Washington DC on

My "push present" was a netbook which turned out great when you have a newborn and are stuck on the couch most of the day trying not to wake the sleeping child in your arms or while they are nursing. It was perfect for typing with one hand! I didn't ask for it. My husband wanted to get me one and I thought it was a great idea. He and I are both computer engineers and spend a lot of time in front of many devices. ;)

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

My mom recently gave me the watch her dad got her mom on the day she gave birth to her. I think the idea of a push present is very sweet.

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

My hubby didn't get me a push gift---but he did really well to support me during labor :)

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