Question - Tulsa,OK

If it were me:

I'd keep my head down, keep doing the good work I could, and steer clear of the troublemakers. In regard to the group who wants to start a new school: I would NOT commit myself to any one group or the other, vocally, but stay open to receiving information about the new school.

Consider this as an opportunity to model for your children a very important skill;"How to deal with difficult people". Sometimes, ignoring them and going about your own business is a great option. I also think parents can work at a very grassroots level to solve problems without the assistance/permission of the board of parent volunteers. If they are incompetent, find a team of two or three other competent parents to organize and get things done which are important. Not every project needs a ton of discussion/nominations/motions before going forward.

If the incidents which trouble you are not affecting your children directly, I'd say stay where you are, see what happens with the new school, and once it's open, decide from there.

Might be good to have some mandatory meetings with everyone, you know like PTO meetings or whatever. Try doing "team building" skills just like sports teams do with coaches and players. It helps to try to get everyone on the same page with the same goals.
I agree if your child is unaffected by the goings on, you can probably ignore the drama as you will find that at EVERY school anyway.

Re-evaluate your options. My SIl & BIL sent their kids to a pricey Christian academy until SOCIAL issues forced them to re-think.
The kids are now excelling and LOVING our public school system.

Here's what sticks out to me:

1) No better option.
2) Your daughter's teachers are awesome and she'll never have the bad ones.
3) The impact of the lame parent volunteers on your life will be minimal.

If you saw the massive program cuts, school closings and layoffs to the already very poor schools in my area, you'd be thanking your lucky stars for a good school with a few annoying people in it.

You feel bad about the people hurt and wanted to go to their new school when 70% were supposedly going, but not when 5% are. Is this because they lied about the 70% and are therefore not good people, or is it because you only want to go where you have a guarantee of lots of other people? Either way, it is understandable they can't get lots of people to jump ship from a good school for an untested one, though I am very sorry for what happened to them. What is most important to me for my kids is the amount of educational information they will learn to equip them to do for themselves whatever they want in the future. Drama surrounding that goal? Not important. Wherever that will be provided, I can live with some other inconvenience. Right now we're homeschooling because our schools suck so bad. As in LOTS of inconvenience and challenges (for me) as a trade-off for the excellent education inclusive of classic literature, substantive math, music and foreign languages my kids are getting. Otherwise they would be in kindergarten all day learning basics they already know in a crowded classroom with inept teachers.

Either one of your options would be appealing to me, the small new school with good people running it, or the big excellent one with a few bad eggs.

****not trying to sound snippy with you, sorry, just PO'ed at the school system. Our district has the SHAFT right now.

Just something to consider: You say your daughter is nearly 11. That means, assuming this school goes through 12th grade, that she would be at this school seven to eight more years. (If it only goes through middle school or just elementary, that's a moot point, I admit!)

If your child would be at this school through 12th grade, isn't that long enough that the decisions of this incompetent parent board will eventually affect her education? Sounds possible to me. In seven or eight years, the staff could change a great deal; you can't be sure she "won't ever have the bad ones" if the teachers change.

Are you willing to get onto the parent board yourself and shake things up? If not, I'd look elsewhere.

Don't let the new-school efforts of the departed people distract you. It's clear you will not be leaving to go to their school, at least not in the near future any time. So don't let that issue even be part of your thinking here. They are nowhere near actually establishing a school.

Is there truly "no better option" as you say? If you investigated other schools in your area some years ago (public or private), investigate again -- things do change over time.

THe most important question here is "how does it affect your child"? If it does not negatively affect her then I would just stay there and ignore the bad apples. You said yourself that there is no better option. However, me being me, I would do my darndest to bring these people down. I wouldn't be able to handle the unfairness of it-even if it would take more drama to do it. If this is a PTO you are talking about you should look at the bylaws with regards to elections. If you get enough people together you can vote them out and your own people in...use the element of surprise to do it.

Since you say that there is no better option, I say keep your daughter there and avoid all of the drama. It sounds like your child will not be affected so just avoid the toxic people...sounds like your child will be going to middle school in the next year or so anyway...

What grades does the current school include? Does it go all the way throught middle/high school? I guess I would say that if your oldest is going to "graduate" from that school year in the next year, you should probably just stay. If she has many more years there then I would probably give the current school one more year and then reevaluate, even if the others leave.

I have worked in a school that just opened and it's hard. Don't get me wrong I believed in the work we were doing and we had some really awesome staff, but at some point you just have to start filling job openings and we went through some people for the first few years trying to find the right people for the job. As a parent, I'd probably let them get open and get things figured out before joining if you think you could handle another year at the old place. But then again, if you really believe in these people and the environment they can create then there is nothing wrong in joining them early and getting in on the ground floor of the planning and organization of the school. They will certainly need dedicated, helpful and loving parents to help out with all kinds of things!

Based on your post and the concerns you have about the new school, it seems that you think staying put is your best option. I'd go with that. You can always move if you have to but a lot can be said for consistency. Good luck, I hope it gets better!

I see that you have posted several questions about both you and your daughter's issues about getting along with other people (friends, teachers, other parents) even to the point that you are considering homeschooling her. I also notice that you often change your original questions AFTER we give you our opinions, without even acknowledging our advice. What's up with that?
Anyway, in response to THIS question, it's up to you to choose how involved in this drama you want to be. Since your daughter is not being affected by it and it and is getting a good education then who cares? Just ignore it. Don't hang around the school before or after drop off and you won't be part of the gossip.

I think it is a bad move to change your daughter's education setting in response to politics which (as you say) have no effect on her. Don't be lured into using your daughter as a political pawn. If this is the best educational environment for her, keep her there. If you don't like the politics, get involved and be an instrument of positive change. It is a wonderful example to set for your 11-year-old (who I am certain is aware something is up.) When you don't like something, don't run, don't be passive aggressive. Get in there, get aggressive if you have to, and make things better.

If the education is working for you, stick to it. Until it affects your child's learning, don't let it bother you. No matter where you go, there will be bad apples. Do what is best for your child, and step up and confront the issues when they get in your child's wellbeing...You are paying for it!

Well, color me confused. These families are starting their own private school and thought they were reaching more families than they had. They miscalculated? or lied? or were trying to convince you to follow the herd in a way that was misleading?

Some of the families from one of our most expensive private school decided they had enough and left to start a new one. They struggled the first year but actually were able to really connect to the kids and parents that went with them. They are doing quite well now and have rented a new building that is much newer and better than the one that the old private school has.

I think that if the issues are so bad at the current school that perhaps that would filter down the chain and effect my kids and eventually me. What if they make decisions you are fundamentally against? What if they decide to start wearing uniforms and they are $300 per set? or stop wearing uniforms and you have thousands of dollars invested in them? I would not like having decisions made for me that I was not a part of.

I do think that if you stay with the school you need to step up and take a stand for what's right and for your family. Others might follow in your footsteps but they might not too. You could influence this board for the positive and maybe not but you could/should be trying to stand up to the bully they seem to be.

Oh my gosh this sounds so much like the school where we were! My husband pushed for our kids to get a "good Catholic" education. I was fine with the first school we were at; everyone was wonderful!!!! Then because of his job we had to move. We again, went to the Catholic school thinking it would be as wonderful as our first experience! WRONG!!! It was HELL!!!! The principal was a jerk, the parents were back-stabbing bitches who didn't care at all about anyone's opinion except their own - yes, the women were far worse than the men - and they had no intention of welcoming anyone new no matter how much I tried. So much for good little Christian women!!! I found out very quickly that I would do what I had to in order to keep my kids happy and that was it. I did my volunteering with the teachers and avoided the drama as best I could. After six years I had had enough! My son was graduating eighth grade and my daughter was entering middle school - they both would have had to switch teachers and buildings so I thot it was the perfect time. We are now in our third year of public school and they couldn't be happier!!!

(Just another negative: we find out upon entering ninth grade that the math teacher wasn't even qualified to teach the previous year's math and my son had to re-take the math course!!!!)

So, to get to your question - as for staying, I guess it just depends on how miserable you want to be. If there is no one over them you can go to complain then you're screwed!!! Why not get all the "good" people together and go to the district! There's ALWAYS someone higher that you should be able to go to.

Good luck!!!

From reading your post, it sounds like you've already made your decision...(you really want to stay) but you're just looking for us to support that decision by agreeing.

We're not there, and you seem to have convinced yourself this is the best thing going in your area, and even if it's not, you probably aren't open to exploring other options. It seems you have your heart set on this place, despite the bad apples, so I say stay.

But do I agree with you? No. I don't think any bad situation is without viable options. It's all a matter of your state of mind and what you choose to believe...as opposed to relying on what you want and trying to make something work to fulfill those wants...even if it isn't good for you in the end.

If I were in your shoes, I'd be looking for options if it's as bad as you say. Your child's future depends on it. In the end, she's the one who will live with your decision...and you're putting her future in the hands of people who sound incompetent. Surely, there has to be something else. She's 11. You have time to make choices for a better future outcome for her educationally speaking. Wait another year, that may not be the case.