A.W.
If you have access to family counseling I would suggest giving that a try, if not you may check with the school counselor for reduced cost or free counseling available in your area. It sounds like a lot of change may be going on that may be stirring up so much negative behavior.
With re: to ADD and ADHD I would suggest a total diet change, give it 3 months and see what happens. There are countless studies in the Alternative/ Natural Health magazines that attribute these diagnoses to prolonged exposure to antibiotics as infants and small children and also artifical colors and preservatives/ poisons in processed foods that most Americans consume can cause these signs. If you would like to learn more about these diet concerns and or supplaments that are available to help with these symtoms I highly recommend visting Herman at Tri-Health off of Fuqua. He can defintley steer you down the right path.
Also, my son's school held a workshop last night on the Love & Logic discipline philosohpy. It was wonderful and the man who co-wrote the program will be giving a seminar at Clear Crrek Community Chruch on Jan 31. The cost is $99 and I believe it is open to the public. You might call the church or look on-line under love & logic for more info. Good luck, I pray for peace for you in the New Year.