ok once again i am going to play devil's advocate. it seems to me (just on the surface, i know i don't know the situation so bear with me) that you are the "kicker outer" and he has at least voiced that this isn't what he wants. why do you? have you seen a counsellor? done everything you can to ensure there is NO other option? i only say these things because i am in a similar situation. you can read my post about it, but i am a christian and it played largely in my decision making so fair warning.
anyway, in my situation, i was convinced my husband (who is verbally and emotionally abusive) would never change and there was no point. i refused to raise my son like that and had made the decision to leave. until i realized that the one thing we hadn't done was seek help. we had argued, complained, nagged, snarked at each other, fought, but we hadn't actually tried to get HELP. and as hopeless as i felt it was, lo and behold, as soon as i mentioned it to him, he immediately agreed. turned out he feels terrible about his temper and outbursts and wants to change. and LOVES US. and doesn't want to lose us. and is willing to work to fix it.
this is just my experience. we are going to our first counselling session tonight.
i just hate to see anyone end a marriage (and tear up your daughter) without making very sure it is the ONLY option. are you very sure? it sounds to me like maybe you are just very angry. why has he moved out and you are "separated", but not getting a divorce? like someone said, if it is over, then end it, get it over with. but it won't be pretty and there really IS no making it better for your daughter, i'm sorry. i understand if this is really where you want to take everyone....but i do hope that you have made sure he really isn't willing to help you fix it. because if both people are willing, there IS a way. good luck.