Refusing to Eat - Grant,NE

My dd has food allergies as well as a very stubborn and picky eater. Lately she tells me no breakfast and she wants milk or chocolate milk. Yes the no eating does effect the moods. I picked up some nestle instant breakfast shakes and that seemed to help. It has protein and calcium. I also let her snack here and there as long as it is healthy. I also can't get her to eat veggies so I get the V8 fusion so she gets a serving of fruit and veggies.
Have you taken him to a dr and see what they recommend, my brother refused to eat and my mom had a catscan done on him ( this was over 20 yrs ago). We found out he had severe headaches and that was the cause of it. My brother lived on the breakfast shakes and he is as healthy as can be.

Dear A. P.,

I saw your post and felt immediately connected to what you are dealing with. I am a mother of 5 children. I better break this down or it might get confusing:

1. Daughter (age 13): Very picky eater
2. Daughter (age 12): Very, Very, Very picky eater
3. Daughter (age 12): Does not care at all what she eats
4. Son (age 9): Not a picky eater
5. Son (age 7): Extremely, very specifically, and by no stretch of the imagination, the pickiest eater of them all.

Each of them at times, and especially my last son, refuse to eat at all. I used to fight it with my oldest daughter. It used to drive me crazy because I had to deal with the nutty attitude later on.

Then I spoke to an old friend that made it all better. She told me that my children were reacting to my mood about their moods, more then they were reacting to not having eaten. She said that they could feel my frustration and that they were using it to pull me into a battle.

I then asked her what she thought I should do. And she said to back off. She told me to put out safe and healthy snacks (like granola bars and crackers) and juice. That I should serve dinner like it is no big deal at all. Serve up the plates, carry on a casual conversation and if he asks to be excused let him go.

She said, and I learned that she was right, that children (unless there is an underlying physical issue) will eat when they are hungry. Now, my children are not the largest children on the block. But the second child on the list used to be light as a feather, and now she is so heavy she is hard to lift. Right about when puberty started, she just made up for lost time.

You should know that my children worried me when they would not eat because they had severe health issues. The 2nd child and the 3rd child had such allergies and asthma that they had trouble with all kinds of foods. It just did not make them feel well. I took them in and had them tested and learned what foods made them feel good and which ones did not. And still that advice from that old friend worked wonders. I planted food, I stopped pushing, and when they ate, they ate healthy foods.

I am not sure if this helps, because it is hard to do, it felt like giving up. But, it also built better relationships between me and my children because the fighting stopped.

All the best, and I would love to know how this turns out.

R.

Hi A.,
My son responds very well to talking about why his body needs certain foods. Even at age 4. We talk about muscles and your brain needing protein to grow to be strong and smart and how our bones need lots of good calories to grow strong and straight. He eats alot of blueberries for his brain, I often make a malt with frozen blueberries (less expensive, use while they are still frozen and you don't have to add any ice) a banana, milk and a little frozen orange juice concentrate, sometimes a little yogurt. I don't add sugar or honey, enough sugar with the fruits, it is his brain power drink. We talk about good proteins in meat and vitamins in dark veggies, he helps me shop, we pick out what we need and he gets to put it in the cart.... The more he is involved in the process the more my son wants to try what we are making. He also likes all the science talk about what makes his body strong. He doesn't always like the food and we talk about how his taste buds have to get used to a new food and try it many times before the taste buds will like it. This gives him the option to not like something once but maybe next time it will be better.
Good luck and have fun,
SarahMM

First have a long talk with your husband about his poor eating habits are now reflecting his son, who needs vitamins and proper nutrition to grow and thrive!!!!!! Kids mimic what they see growing up and he has to have proper diet for his mood, growth, brain and everything at his age!

Keep offering a meal, if he chooses not to eat, then so be it, if he comes around hungry pull it back out of the fridge.
Do not allow any junk in the house at all, period.
If he wants milk, go get Carnation instant breakfast and add that to the milk for added nutrition.

Allowing a child to be picky is a downfall we cause ourselves, just don't allow it. I too almost fell into the trap of making sure they ate even if it was favorites and I stopped, period. I just served whatever I made for dinner and they either ate or didn't. When they came around later and were hungry I pulled it back out and told them they needed to finish dinner first.
There were a few nights they went to bed hungry, I don't think I was being mean, but made a point as now they will eat their dinner.
Your son will not starve himself, he won't. At some point instinct will kick in and he will eat if he is truly hungry.
Get even Pediasure and add it to his milk with a meal as that will give him a lot of benefits other then just milk.
Try having him help you prepare meals, make it fun and have him included in the process of what to make for dinner.
Continue to offer meals, he can make the choice to eat it or not. Don't make him eat, don't stress about it as it will be a power struggle, just be matter of fact. However he is to sit down with the rest of the family and sit there when meals are served. Make sure you sit down as a family too to eat every meal.

Always have some yummy fresh fruit available that the children can easily grab (out of the 'fridge) along with healthy snacks in a low cabinet where they are encouraged to grab them and eat. I love those pre-chopped dishes of fruit available at the store (as I am a working mom and those are so easy to pull out). I agree with not ever trying to force your child to eat but to always have good, healthy child friendly food available. You don't want to cause food related eating disorders later in life. That affects boys too. Also giving him vitamins certainly is a good idea. Finally, see if you can have him help with the menu planning, picking out the fruit at the store and having a hand in preparing the meals. Maybe that will help perk his interest-- that works well for my daughter.

let him help choose foods to eat

My nephew is the same way... He will however drink protein shakes. I used to work at a nutrition center at a gym and would help people with there diets. You can buy whey protein and add bananas and oatmeal to them.. you can also put spinach in there shakes, but you need to add the banana to hide that pretty good. Good luck

Hi A.,
You really may want to consider Soy Protein. It tastes really good and blended with milk and some fruit, tastes like a dessert !
I distribute Shaklee products and they guarantee your satisfaction, 100% money-back guarantee.
Here's a link to the Soy Protein and Meal Shakes on my site:
Soy Protein: http://www.shaklee.net/sowing4health/product/Protein2
Meal Shakes:
http://www.shaklee.net/sowing4health/product/MealShakes

If, you have any questions, feel free to email me.

Blessing to you and your family,
L. (www.sowing4health.com)

Consider going to the feeding clinic at childrens... if not that then try an dietician and an occpuational therapist. We had to go last year and most of the things that we had to do were fairly simple but it was great.
We had to limit milk (or other liquids) before/during meals. We had to sit down at meals with our son .. only rule was that WE (the parents) had to eat and model eating... smelling, chewing, talking about the food. Offer a variety. Play food related games such as restaurant. Get him to help you in the kitchen. Check out the cookbook sneaky chef .. don't remove serving regular vegetables but it is a great way to sneak in the veges and fruit into foods they do like. Ensure that the food your son is eating.. is high quality. Make every bit count -- in nutrients and calories. We have a bigger issue with weight gain and need to add more calories, which we do with Carnation Instant breakfast. This did work.... maybe it will get your husband to eat better.

I think that you are doing the right thing by cutting back on the milk intake because it can be constipateing and also cause a child not to eat as well! it is so hard to have a kid that does not want to eat. my niece is the same way and just find something that he likes and try that hopefully he will eventually get over this. Try masking good foods so that he will eat them ex. peanut butter on celery. good luck

Hi A.,

My four year old was the exact same way until one day I would offer him breakfast and if he did not eat it he did not get a snack or offered another meal until lunch, if he didn't eat.....this went on four two days. I felt horrible but he eventually got hungry and if he completed a meal he got a snack. I also put a cookie on his plate for temptation and he cannot eat it until his food is gone or eaten to our satisfaction. Hope this helps:) good luck!

Hello,

I would strongly encourage you to have your child (and your husband) tested for food allergies, including an intolerance to gluten, which is a protien found in wheat, barley, rye and, for some people, oats. A helpful website is http://www.csaceliacs.org/. Celiac disease, which is a high-level intolerance to gluten, is a genetic, inherited autoimmune disease of the small intestine that can be quite damaging when untreated. When on a gluten-free diet, however, the difference in how you feel--and eat--is amazing. My now three-year-old niece had exhibited classic "failure to thrive" symptoms and she also refused to eat. My 17 year-old daughter was diagnosed with celiac a year and a half ago after she became extremely ill. We then determined that at least 11 members of my family, including my little niece, have some level of intolerance to gluten. As soon as her diet became gluten-free, she began to eat, put on weight and develop at a more normal pace. She is now a delight--as is my daughter who is now quite healthy with her new diet.

I wish you the best in determining your son's dietary issues.

you have so many responses I didn't have time to read through them all so if this is redundant I apologize. Kids love to take control of whatever they can. The food pyramid online is amazing now www.mypyramid.gov it has a lot of interactive tools you can use. I would suggest sitting down with your 4 year old and having him make a plan with you with the pyramid. I would recommend you make a pyramid for you and your son (your husband being an adult would have to make that decision for himself and if he is against doing it don't do it with him and your son or your son will adopt his dad's attitudes) but let your son go through the pyramid with you and decide what thing he will eat during the day to get him his totals. there are charts you can print out and fill in on how you are getting those totals. You could set a goal with him to be at his totals in two months. So this week add in one fruit or veggie a day. and stickers kids love stickers to put on things. and have a reward at the end of each day for fulfilling his goals. a special story time or something that is one on one with you and not food related. but still instills healthy habits. if you are also doing a pyramid chart for yourself your son can help cheer you on as well. putting it in his hands under terms you are comfortable with will empower him and help him to learn healthy habits that will help him throughout his life.
blood sugar levels are so important! I get ornery and grumpy if I don't eat and eat right so yeah, I can imagine how frustrating this can be. I hope this helps, I really love the new tools I have found on this website.