?? Regarding Kids to Choice Who to Live With

Not to go much into detail, but I am a paralegal for a family law attorney in Tinley Park and there is really "no legal age" that a child can make a decision on who they want to live with....it ultimately comes down to what a Judge may suggest to be in the best interest of the minor child.....Therefore it does not matter what county you live in....Hope this helps

There is no hard and fast rule. This varies from case to case, location to location, judge to judge. Remember that this is only one factor in the decision that the courts make and their consideration is the "best interest of the child." That may or may not be what the child himself wants.

As a general rule, think in terms of 7s. A 7 year old can testify in court as a fact witness because at that age they generally know the difference between truth and lies, can understand the importance of telling the truth in court, and can understand the consequences of not telling the truth; but they are too young to handle the emotional decision of who they want to live with in a divorce situation. On the other hand, a 14 year old can generally be trusted to have enough maturity to express a preference for living with one parent over the other and can articulate the reasons why which can have a bearing on the decision made by the court. The judge alone decides how much weight to give that preference.

CAVEAT: I have a law degree, but I am not practicing, and this is not legal advice, only general information on how the law looks at this issue.

We were told the age is around 7, basically if they are able to communicate well and express their wishes. I don't think the child has the last word, just input. We are in Cook county...don't know if it is different from county to county.

Good Morning,

There are factors that are weighed in determiong who a child should live with. What State, city, and county do you live in?

Sincerely,

S. L. C.,
Paralegal

*Please note, I am NOT an attorney and I CAN NOT provide you with any legal advice.

I believe it is 14. I was 14 and the oldest when my parents divorced and was the only one who got to decide which parent. It may be a little younger now, I am not sure.

In Illinois it's 12 years old.

A.,

I like your question, I am eager to find out what other moms have to say to you.

ha

I would check with your lawyer. I think the judges will let a child have a say so at age 14. It really has a lot to do with the best thing for the child. I know that each state has there own set of laws regarding custody issues and child support issues. Some states require the non custodial parent to pay a higher % of their income to the custodial parent than other states for support. I do not think where a child wishes to live has anything to do with individual counties. I think it is a state issue and the counties must follow the laws set forth by the each state.
Problems happen when the two parents do not live in the same state. I believe they then follow the state laws in which the custodial parent lives.
I would call your lawyer or you might be able to get this information right here on-line.

Hope all goes well with this issue.

S.

I don't know what the "legal" age is although I know the court system is much more apt to listening to the opinion of the oldest child in the home. This can be a problem when there's a division where the older wants to live one place and the other child/ren want to live with the other parent. Most likely the oldest child's opinion is what gets heard and the other children don't even have a say in it. As I'm learning right now, I have 2 step children who live with their mother. The oldest wants to live at home and the youngest wants to live with us (with his father). We were denied a hearing because they don't want to split children up. When the oldest goes to college next year, we will have a shot at it but not until then. The youngest will be 14 at that time and he will have the ability to have his opinion heard. So for what age is considered the legal age, I'm sorry I don't know. I do know you can call a lawyers office and have a free phone consult though and I'm sure he/she can direct you on the matter.

Dear A.,
I was divorced in 2001 in Cook County, and one of the things that was required by the court was to go through a program called Focus on Children which met at 69 W. Washington. My ex and I had sessions, and a session was held with my sons. My youngest was then 15 and my oldest was 18. My youngest was able to make his choice, but it took the focus from our concerns to theirs. My oldest was not affected as not only was he 18 but he was scheduled to leave for the Navy, but he attended the session with his brother. I don't know how that was arranged, but if it is still available, I'd try to find that unit and ask or see if you can participate in it with your children and spouse.
Good luck.
S.

It's going to vary case by case, etc. When my parents got divorced, it was a 3 year fight. Started when I was 7, ended when I was 10. I only had to go on a handful of visitations to my Dads the first year, and after that refused. My little sister however, is 7 yrs younger than me, and had to keep going a little while more. (But they also stopped WAY before the whole thing was done with.)
I remember having to talk to a family counselor about who I wanted to be with & why.
Good luck, and remember, try to stick with facts as much as possible, rather than emotion. (But don't be stone cold either!)