Respect and Small Children

You have to remember that this is the age of EXPLORATION!! Doesn't matter if she knows the rules. She doesn't have the capacity to think that far ahead. She's a toddler; just keep things out of her reach. I know high school kids who don't respect their belongings, so how can you expect it from an innocent child who doesn't understand consequences yet? Just keep working with her, and eventually, she'll get it. For now, keep things you don't want broken, smeared, emptied, etc out of her reach :)

The best way to teach respect is to model it, and it happens over time.

What you are calling respect she is calling adventure. Remember that young children do not have the same short-term memory as teens and adults. They will forget things we tell them and will need to be reminded. At this age children will get in to anything and will not understand the danger or destructiveness of it. Sorry to say, but keeping as much out of her reach is your best bet at this age. By four and into five, she will understand better and be able to remember better.

I started teaching my children respect once they started to understand "no" and "yes".

I have 2 1/2 year old twins... and while I don't say things like, "That is not respectful." I do correct them if they aren't being respectful.

For instance, my daughter asked me for milk the other day and her tone and attitude was very "ugly". I politely said to her (on her level)... "We do not talk to mommy that way. That is not nice. You will not get milk until you can ask for it NICELY."

It seems to have worked with them so far...GL

Example-I love everyones comments! Our 2 year old prayed with us at dinner for the first time last night (held hands with my husband and older daughter) so EXample is the simpleest word I can use. My 2 y/o starting saying "Go away" and "leave me alone" after listening to my 17 y/o we realized that this is what she would tell our 2 y/o when she was annoyed with her. Lately our 2 y/o has been calling her dad by his first name, which annoys him to no end, (Now we have been trying to teach her our names just in case she ever gets lost but still calls me mommy) and we realized that our 17 y/o calls her step dad by his first name so the 2 y/o doesn't know the connection yet. So lead by example and your kids will be fine.

Greetings T., ans welcome to the world of parenthood and Curious George! I am the mother of 5 and have several grandchildren and today alone I had 3 count them 3 three year olds and a 14 month old that was a more than willing particpant in all the ideas they came up with!
They are not trying to be bad - they are just being children and curious about all that they see, touch, and feel. We used to call it the troubled 3's becasue the kids were to little to be big and able to be free to reason and think like a 4-5 year old does yet at 3 they aren't babies so they are the tween stage.
I do not mean that you excuse it as I was cleaning up mess after mess just understnad that teaching moments are important and need to be prepared for or you will find yourself over reacting to what is being done.
I have had more than one mural drawing (often the day before a BIG PARTY, on the walls). We have clean up time and yes they get to do most of the work with a toothbrush if its all they can handle. I have learned that even the little ones with disabilities can be part of the clean up crew! Nana, takes all hostages!
I hope this will help, because it works for me. I have a tarp-- outside of course-- that I put things like pudding on or handlotion once suntan lotion, powder from the dollar store we did shampoo too but if its not a no tear kind that s not good idea and let them play in it. It took the mystery out and they have learned that some things are adult and not to be touched as they can harm you( that harm might be a swat on the butt), . The smearing is very taxtile and at that age everything is a wonder to them. I know its hard to redirect a child so I suggest that you keep things in lock down for a bit more as most 4yo will think at least 2 times before doing anything like this.
God Bless you becasue I know you will survive, and that your child will really learn all these important things but most likely just barely before you start pulling out your hair. Good Luck, Nana Glenda

It takes a long time and you just have to keep modeling it with your own behavior, talking to your child about it, and shaping the behavior when you see your child acting in a way that you don't want them to act (when my kids were younger, we did a lot of "do overs" when they had a chance to do or say something the right way with my input and assistance). My children are 6 and 7 now and they are mostly respectful but it's always going to be a work in progress although teaching respect and manners has been something that we have been working on by example or by setting rules since our children were very young.

We taught our daughter respect from age 1 and up, obviously it is simple words at first but as they get older you can give more reason why you respect others. My daughter is now 4 and usually is very respectful/polite but we have started to teach her at a young age AND we live our lives in respect so she is surrounded by it all the time.

At first it is thank you, please... we started as soon as she was talking. It took awhile to learn the words but by 1 1/2 or 2 years so had that down.

Around 1 1/2 & 2 we started to how to address people politely, how to treat them politely, continued to remind how to ask nicely for something and say thank you.

At age 2 1/2 & 3 we did more teaching on in-depth of why we act the way we do, we go to church weekly and for us having that religious background does help on why we do, say, act the way we do. We also started her to ask nicely to be excused from the table after a meal "may I please be excused?" to show that you are polite even when leaving a place/situation.

Now at 4 years she is usually very polite (she says thank you to the mail man almost daily when he drops of the mail, she started this on her own we never said to do it), still working on different situations dealing with how you talk politely to other kids if they other kid is not being polite. We have found that she is more polite when at others or in public places, at home is not always polite but that is getting better (if she wants a glass of juice and says "I want juice" we just stare at her until she realizes why she is not getting it and then she says "May I please have some juice."

You can't expect a toddler - no matter how clever and precocious you think she is to behave like a school-aged kid. Keep all temptations out of her reach - WAY WAY WAY out of her reach - kids can climb! Be very clear about which things in your house are YOURS and which are HERS. Take advantage of the "mine-mine MINE!" mentality of a toddler and make it clear that whatever you want her to "respect" is YOURS - not hers!
Set up a regular time for coloring, arts & crafts etc. We bought our son a little plastic kiddie desk at that age - he loved it! He still uses it for his kindergarten homework. I let him put stickers all over it, scribble on it etc. because it is HIS desk. I don't let him touch MY furniture or eat anywhere but the kitchen or his little desk. Having something that is OK for him to "decorate" has given him an outlet for his impulses and saves my great grandmothers antique dining room furniture. ;)
Sidewalk chalk is a great "project" that your daughter can do in your backyard with little supervision 'cuz it hoses off and the worst she can do is eat a little of it. YOu've gotta give her a chance to get messy once in a while with your blessings.
At age 3, I started having my son "help" me clean up any messes, he loved helping me scrub the walls with a Magic Eraser after one of his buddies colored on them. Swiffer duster and mop were a big hit too.
At age 4 my son complained to me that Nicky and Jason get to jump on their sofas and color anywhere they want - I asked him if he wanted our house to look or smell like their house - he thought for a minute and answered - "No, Mama!"
Amen.

If she draws somewhere she's not supposed to, Discipline her. If she so much as looks crosseyed at a lotion or shampoo bottle. Discipline her. Soon she'll start to associate her behavior with the consequences. What she's doing has little to do with "respect" and more to do with a three year old pushing boundaries. If all you to is talk to her and try to explain, to a three year old, why she shouldn't do those things. It's not going to stick. Punish her so that she "gets it" and it'll stick.

She needs to suffer the consequences of her actions and she'll soon correct her behavior.

My daughter did the lotion thing twice. The first time I told her that was a bad thing to do, that she made a huge mess and wasted perfectly good lotion. I told her I didn't want to ever see her use the lotion without asking me first ever again and if she ever did this again she'd get a spanking.

She did it again a week later and got a spanking. I came upstairs after fixing lunch to find that she'd emptied half the lotion bottle onto herself and the carpet. I asked her if she remembered the last time she did this and she started crying and said, "Yeeeeessss" in a long drawn out wail. I asked her if she remembered what I said. She said, "It's bad!" and knew... SHE KNEW she was going to get a spanking because she covered her bum. She knew what she was doing was wrong but she did it anyway and got punished.

It's been a whole year since then and she ALWAYS asks first before touching the hand lotion.

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It's never too early to start. The sooner, the better. Otherwise, it's going to be harder to instill in them. Some children are naturals at it, others take quite some time.

i think the best wat to teach them respect is to show them by example...it takes a long time for them to get it, but you should never let disrespectful behavior slide because you think they're too young to understand. That doesn't mean punishing, but telling what they should say or do and make them repeat it...with my son when he asked me for something i would say, "When you ask mommy, you should say 'Mommy, can I please have some more milk?'" and make him say it before he got milk...now that he's 4 if he doesn't say please I say "How do we ask Mommy for something?" and wait for him to figure it out. I also try to remember to say please and thank you to him.

My kids all got it from an EARLY age. We always use please and thank you with them and ask them to use it starting as soon as they can grasp the concept - maybe 6 months or so...and they all use yes ma'am and sir, etc...I think respect is huge!! If they respect people, they won't mess up in life, school, etc...start now!!!