S* - Milwaukee,WI

Seriously! Even with my knee surgery I am only 44 years old and can barely walk some days. God knows the damage I would have done had I not have the surgery. So if your issues are as serious as you claim, serious enough that you need leave because I could have continued to work as a grocery checker with my knee, come back and find us in say 20 years. Tell us how your back is.

See your issue is simple, either you are not hurting so much that you don't need the surgery, which also means you don't need intermittent leave, or you need the surgery.

I'd go see the surgeon - because realistically, there are very few surgeons who would want to do this surgery on a pregnant woman anyway. The surgeon can sign you out on disability just as easily as an OB/GYN can. The surgeon might take a look at you and say, "Yeah, she needs this surgery, but this is too risky right now, so we'll have to wait for x months until the baby is born." Or, "This problem will resolve itself after the baby is born, but right now it's causing too many problems for this woman to be able to continue doing x, y, and z tasks at work." You know, that kind of thing. Either you will get partial disability (where your workplace would be required to find you a desk job or some work that the doctor says you can handle) or full disability, but either way, the surgeon is more capable of determining that than your OB/GYN at this point. Right? So just make the appointment and see what happens.

A GOOD Dr. will not give you what you are seeking.

If you want to Dr. shop, fine...but don't expect them to be doing what is best for you or your baby. You were given options. The same options any other qualified Dr will give you. It's YOUR choice to not explore those options, and to continue working. Don't place the blame on a Dr., who is simply doing their job.

Perhaps, what you should have done was ask for something else. Very few doctors are willing to suggest complete leave. Ask for lighter duty. A doctor should have no problem suggesting that.

Unless you are planning on a medication free birth, then your concerns are...silly. When you get an epidural or c-section, the exact same medications are used.

Your doctor has told you that there is an option that will:
1. Solve your medical problem.
2. Give you a rest from work

Find another doctor, but my guess is that you will continue to get the same response. Your doctor is not recommending anything that will endanger your baby. If you are planning on a c-section or an epidural... well, those are anesthesias too.

Keep in mind that if you find a doctor who will put you on bed rest, you will be taking your FMLA time before the baby is born... so you will take unpaid time after the baby is born, meaning that you won't have any "sick time" to have the surgery after the baby is born...

I hate to say this but your doctor IS listening to your concerns. She is just NOT agreeing with you. She has given your a course of treatment that you are not agreeing with. If you aren't happy with the treatment, plan, seek a second opinion.

Sounds like you need help when you get home from work. You need your husband to start watching your baby while you rest. I don't know what your policy is at work for leave but if you have an 8 month old, do you qualify for FMLA? Or any leave for that matter? I'm not sure if you used it with your prior child and being so close, I am wondering if you would meet all the criteria for leave.

ETA after 3 flowers. Why delete the post, change your name ans get snarky. The moms here were only trying to help you . Truthfully, the Dr. gave you options for relief. After reading your snarky response, maybe you do just want someone to give you free reign on leave so you don't have to go to work. Hmmm
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My take on this request is that the Dr. IS listening to you and has given you options. Surgery and PT

The issue is that you don't want the options, you want a leave from work. Like you, I would not opt for surgery while pregnant unless it was vital to save my life or the baby's life. However, PT can work wonders and I would certainly take that option to try to improve my health.

A Dr. must abide by many guidelines when issuing such a leave from work because of people all over the place trying to get leaves for multiple reasons. I'm sure you've seen the scammers being caught on tv who were on leave for a disability but living the high life with no worries until caught. Unfortunately, due to how some people have been (just lazy, want a paycheck and not work) it hurts those who might have a legitimate need for a leave like yourself.

You have a lot on your plate with an 8 month old and being pregnant. I would suggest some extra support at home from hubby, part time nanny or mother's helper, etc to help you until you are back on track with your health.

Many employers are good about working with people who have medical needs. Talk to you employer and see what option they offer as far as adjusted hours, time to be off your feet, etc.

Best wishes to you!

Did you ask for light duty? I could see that the doctor might be more willing to do that.

I've had sciatica and took light duty. a desk job instead of patrol. The sciatica resolved in just a couple of weeks with physical therapy.

I hate to use tears to get my way but another time I was super tired from a couple of conditions and the doctor didn't think I needed reduced hours. I was so tired, I burst into tears and he changed his mind. I've found, since I'm a tough person who puts on a "happy" face. that others think I can tough something out. So I've learned to tell it like it really is instead of working at making the best of it.

while i agree that shopping for a doctor who will give you you what you want can be an exercise in futility (although i've done exactly that<G>), i'm pretty shocked at how many people are telling you that you are being silly and should just suck it up and have anesthesia and surgery while pregnant. i totally agree with you that this is not something that should be undertaken lightly. i'm right there with you in keeping pregnancy as medication-free as possible.
however, getting a doctor's note to stay home may just not be possible.
get the physical therapy, try to enlist your dh to help you more at home, and talk to your work about getting on a lighter schedule.
you're in a difficult situation, mama. good luck!
khairete
S.

Your dr doesn't feel your symptoms warrant being off work yet.
Some conditions get worse if you don't keep moving around.
Sure get a second opinion and/or see a surgeon and see what they say but what will you do if they say the same thing?
You asked the doctor for medical leave IF IT GOT WORSE - so it's not that bad yet.
Some surgeries can be done under local anesthesia while pregnant.
How many months pregnant are you?
It might be best to save as much leave for when the baby comes rather than burn it up beforehand.
Additional:
Well you're going to believe what your going to believe despite what anyone or any doctor says but some women HAVE to have surgeries while pregnant (in some cases the baby is operated on in utero to correct defects before they are born) - so while there are always risks which need to be weighed - surgery IS possible and is often successful on pregnant women and their infants.
Another option is to quit but you want to be paid and have a job waiting for you so you want disability.
Another option is go get a Mommy's helper to help you with your 8 month old.
You have all kinds of options to consider - try not to focus too much on just one.

See another doctor. It doesn't sound like this one is really giving credence to your concerns.

Best of luck.

Get another doctor! My doctor put me on reduced hours and light duty and I didn't have as serious problems as you have. Good luck.

If your doctor is not helping you seek a course of treatment you can agree with, it's time to find a new doctor.

The sciatica will most likely improve with PT.

I have a friend whose mesh ripped from a previous hernia surgery early during her third pregnancy. During her last month of pregnancy, she was put on bed rest because of it, but it took a while for the doctor to recommend that. She said she was just honest with her work and they worked with her as much as possible. They modified what they could for her and people stepped in when needed. AS an events coordinator, her job is very physical. I am not certain what you do for a living, but it may be a compromise to help you get through. Hopefully, you can get some extra help at home too.

I am with you on this one, I would not want surgery while pregnant either. Even though, I know it's done often and done safely. I wouldn't want to do it, especially if it is something that could wait.

Keep in mind that if you are granted the rest from work by another doctor, this will not be paid time off. It will be an unpaid leave of absence (unless you have some sort of insurance that covers situations like this). Good luck!

Whether or not you receive a 'leave of absence' from another doctor.....just slow down. Intentionally take your time and do NOT over stress your body. Just do you duties slower and put your feet up at breaks and lunch.

Your work place should be able to assign you to lighter duties without a doctor's note. Does your work place require the doctor's note for lighter duty?

Either way, back off and do not stress your body. Simply say you are not comfortable lifting something up or bending over that far, etc. If you say it often enough they will believe you.

Where is the hernia? Can you wear a pregnancy belt for support?

GL!

I don't know what you are experiencing with the umbilical hernia but I've had sciatica for the entire duration of this pregnancy and have worked the entire time (I'm 38 weeks now). There are times when it is excrutiating, but I have kept up with chiropractor appointments and physical therapy, which helps SO MUCH. If you haven't tried it, you should. Don't just jump to needing a leave of absence, because PT can do wonders.

As for the surgery, I don't blame you for not wanting surgery while pregnant, I wouldn't want to do that either. I can't give much advice on that because I'm not sure what discomfort you are experiencing from that, but it sounds like the doctor doesn't see a reasn for you to take leave over it.

Is your employer willing to work with you without the consent of a doctor? Do you qualify for FMLA?

Check to see if she is related to your boss---lol. HOW DARE SHE?????

Let her know why you are potentially leaving. Maybe that ultimatum will make her see the light--if not, follow through on your threat and get another doctor ASAP!

One of the perks of seeing a doctor is to get a little leave letter when we need one. LOL

I've had a umbilical hernia for awhile now. It gets worse during pregnancy and of course when I wear too tight of clothes. I'm sorry to say but no doctor has really cared about it. I always get told some things I can do to minimize it's effects or told if it gets too bad I can opt for surgery. I've had my OB, PCP and even my GI doctor all tell me basically it's no big deal. It isn't I know. It's annoying and if I do trigger it I'm sorry for awhile especially if anything gets "pinched" in it.

But I've never had any doctor give me anything more than they are pretty common and bothersome at best. I've lived with mine for nearly 10 years now and I don't think I'll ever go through the surgery of having it repaired. Sure it hurts sometimes but I've had abdominal surgery, pry what caused it, and that is far worse than the umbilical hernia.

I read your SWH which is helpful to the board, Mom, and makes a lot of sense. However, removing your original post and blasting people just makes you look bad. I really don't understand why you wrote it.

SB gives you some really good advice. You mentioned that you can't afford a nanny. I hope you have short-term disability insurance because you don't get paid for family leave. I DO disagree with some of the posters messages to you. But I think your retort is over-the-top.

Original:

Go to another doctor. I wouldn't keep this one. She KNOWS what you do all day at work? She wants you to have surgery done while you are pregnant? She's CRAZY!

Don't let them tell you that you cannot change doctors. You CAN.

Dawn

Hmmm....in your SWH response you said that there is no known pain medication that is safe for a fetus. That is completely untrue. Drs may frown on the use of pain medication, especially for the entire pregnancy, but opiates like oxycontin, morphine, etc....are safe for the fetus. The Drs begin to worry when those pain meds are used in the 3rd trimester and even then they are more concerned with use toward the last 30 dys of your pregnancy because the baby could go through withdrawals. But not because they cause birth defects.
There is a website you can go to and type in different medications that you may be on and it will give you tons of information on the safety of using those medicines while pregnant.
Anyhow....best of luck to you.
I just wanted to throw out the correct information for everyone.

For now, try doing some stretching. At times , I get Sciatica and it's been very important for me to stretch my body.. When standing all day, legs can get VERY tight, if you don't take the time to thoroughly stretch them out, they can tighten so much so that in turn they pull on the lower back and can even add to foot problems..
They also have prenatal Yoga , which can help with this problem..

Good luck

I've not had a hernia, so I don't know about the level of pain involved. I suspect that the ladies who are telling you the leave could come only from the surgeon are somewhat correct--that seeing what your options are might be a good idea, even if you don't go with those options. As for sciatica, I'm not sure what staying home would accomplish without physical therapy or chiropractic care. I had sciatica and quite a bit of pelvic pain when I was carrying my third, and I asked my doc if she had problems with me seeing a craniosacral therapist. She didn't. It was gentle, it was one time only, and it did wonders for all the pregnancy pain I experienced. AND the therapist told me what motions to avoid--as, I'm assuming, would a PT, and at that point you could take those recommendations to your employer. My kids have spent a lot of intense time with PT's and I know how little my (absolutely wonderful) doctor knows about the issues with which our PT deals. I don't know about the hernia, but the sciatica is much better dealt with than rested.

I would follow Catherine C's suggestions. Make an appointment to see the surgeon and express your concerns with him/her. A letter from the surgeon would carry more weight with your employers (You're not just another pregnant gal saying, "I'm tired and need to rest," you have a specific concern that even a surgeon is telling us to take seriously.)

time to switch doctors.

always get a second opinion..if your not happy or satisfied with the first one you know your body best and what you need..find a new doctor..good luck

Updated

always get a second opinion..if your not happy or satisfied with the first one you know your body best and what you need..find a new doctor..good luck