School Problems with My 12 Yr Old Boy

Sounds like you are getting mismatched stories from too many different outlets, you need to all be on the same page. If the teachers are truly seeing different scenarios than the ones reported by the VP, I would suggest scheduling a meeting with those teachers, the VP, and the principal. Not to necessarily report the VP, but as an exploration to understand the events better and to get suggestions on the future. Sort of a peace talk to think about what the triggers are that lead to trouble -- and engaging in a fight after being provoked IS bad too, he has to have other options at his disposal for handling run ins. Are there particular kids he's having problems with? Is he being harassed or bullied on a regular basis? Is HE struggling in school in some way you're not aware of? Does he need support or intervention in some way that he's not getting?

Time to get all these people on the same team, while showing them that you are willing to listen and cooperate in your son's and the school's best interests.

First, you said he got suspended for fighting, even though he didn't start it, it doesn't matter. Most schools policy is if you fight you get suspended no matter what, be it you started it or not. Unfortunately that sucks, but it is what it is.

Second, I would make an appt with everyone, principal, vice prin., guidance counselor, and teachers. In this meeting I would have everyone tell their stories of each incident and find out how they feel about what happened and if there has been any punishment if that is what they all feel is appropriate. Then you need to bring your son in at this point and come up with a plan amongst all of you that states what will happen if he is in any way part of any altercations what will happen. Then also come up with something stating that if he is the victim of something that he is not accused of the wrong doing. I would then tell all of them that if he is the victim of anything ever again and he is accused of doing wrong even though he hasn't then you will go to the next level, being superiendents of the school and if you have to the media. Don't threaten lawyers because people do this all the time, but threaten to go to the media and let them know about the bullying that is going on at this school. This is what it sounds like is happening, bullying, and this is the problem now a days, there is excuse after excuse made and no one ever does anything and so the problems only escalade until someone ends up getting hurt or killing themselves because they have been bullied for so long.

Did the other boys your son had the fights with get suspended too? I agree with having a meeting with the principals and teachers. Put your concerns all down on paper so you don't forget anything.

I know you've talked with your son, but does he have any friends? I remember being in school and there were the trouble makers and the innocent ones. The class knows who's who...