Screaming Baby - Omaha,NE

draw the line. you say she follows you when you walk away? what if you prevent the following?
my son would throw a tantrum and i knew he was just tired of playing with the other kid (i have in home child care) so i literally would send him to his room, and shut the door. he maybe would whine a little at the door, but then he would play alone in his room for a while, and before too long, he would knock on his door and be recovered :P

so, i guess try it. just shut a door; put up a gate, whatever, so the following doesnt happen
good luck... the only way to get rid of an undesireable habit is to fulfill the needs, then ignore tantrums COMPLETELY (at least at home) any attentino, even negative attention, is still attention.

I agree with Diane K. That's almost exacty the advice I was going to give.

I had a couple of thoughts I wanted to share with you. I read your other post about the stress with your husband and am wondering if your daughter is reacting to this stress. It may be her way of dealing with the change of emotions in the house. The other thought I had is communication. When my middle child was about 15 months old he didn't have many words in his vocabulary and would scream all of the time. I started teaching him sign language and as soon as he learned the sign for milk and realized he could tell me what he wanted the screaming stopped. You can look up specific signs at http://commtechlab.msu.edu/sites/aslweb/browser.htm
and they even have videos of the signs so you can see them done.
Good Luck
Hugs!
~M.

My daughter is and was the same way. Here is what you do--it totally works, in my opinion, and it is good for you too. Some people may disagree, or think it is harsh, but hey, you haven't met my kid! =) Do you have a pack n' play? If not, get one or borrow one ASAP. Set it up in a room that you don't use frequently--I use my living room--when your daughter is having a fit, pick her up, look her in the face, and say calmly, but forcefully say "time out." Then, go and put her in her pack n' play, and WALK AWAY. Do not get her out until she stops crying. (It may take awhile the first couple of times....) When she stops her fit, go in and tell her that when she acts badly, she will get a time out. Revisit specifically what she did to warrant the time out, and carry on. Repeat as necessary. This way, you and your older daughter get a break from her, and she gets a clear consequence. After some time, when she begins a fit, simply tell her if she continues, she will need a time out. If she chooses to, she will have a consequence, but I find that the threat of it is enough. Good luck.

S. -

Your daughter is doing this because it's something in her power that lets her control the situation. We ALL know that piercing scream and I'm ready to do whatever it takes to stop the screaming. But I also learned that by giving in, it allows the child to gain control.

So, simply put, you need to regain control of this situation.

When she screams like this the first time (no warnings) you put her into a safe, secure place. Her pack n play, her crib, whatever you have. Tell her that screaming is not acceptable and when she is done, she can come out. Then leave.

She will probably continue screaming, but don't give in. She is safe and you need to give her time to settle down. Once she has quieted down, go back to her. If she continues the behavior, do it again.

She certainly is old enough to "get it." Teach her that this behavior is not tolerated and it earns her some alone time.

Be consistent and you will see a change. I promise!

D. in milwaukee

You are supposed to ignore her. All she wants is attention and a reaction from you. When she doesn't get it, she should learn that it doesn't work. You could say, calmly, "I can't listen to you when you're screaming, you need to go to your room and calm down" and put her in her room, as many times as it takes until she stops. Not easy - but it's the supernanny way. And I guess it works. A great book you should read - "Parenting with Love & Logic" - excellent!!!

I suggest you consult with your pediatrician to rule out any medical causes. Barring any medical causes, it sounds like your DD is curious about the effects of her behavior on other people. Her connection with you is vital to her confidence. You may see her trying to get your attention anyway she can. She'll shout, imitate gestures she sees you and other adults making, pinch, poke, shove, whine, and cry, all in an attempt to see how you react, and what it takes for her to get what she wants. She’ll quickly realize that various behaviors get different results from the adults who surround her. She may learn that she gets what she wants faster if she screams instead of head-banging. She will figure out that screaming will get her what she wants from you, but not from her dad. This is a normal phase, and if you are consistent with enforcing limits, she'll soon learn which behaviors are acceptable and which aren't.

The wilder things your DD does to maintain her connection with you, and your attention on her, can be annoying and frustrating. Really listening when your DD is trying to tell you something, and giving her as much attention as you can, may head off a great deal of whining and screaming. When you've reached your limit, you may simply need to remove yourself from the room. Put your DD in her crib or playpen and step out for a few minutes, take a few deep breaths. Take a moment to remind yourself that she's going through a phase. This is not her permanent mailing address!

I have always had good success with the "no one wants to play with you when you are like that" send her to another room. It is really hard when they are that young. My son is almost 11 months and he bites when he gets excited i am using the set him down and tell him i wont play if he bites. He seems to understand at the time then forgets again later, but i am sticking to it. She may have hit the terrible 2's early and unfortunately for some girls that runs straight into the teens by age 3. It is difficult but you have to try and remain calm. Keep removing yourself from her presence when she does it and tell her she can be with you when she can be calm. She will most likely get more upset for a while but i have 2 nieces and 3 nephews and though they act up for their parents when they are at my house there is very little screaming and bickering. I have never spanked and only in extreme stress once or twice did i scream. the oldest is 10 and the youngest is 5. It takes time and lots of deep breaths maybe even some ear plugs but you can do it.

S....

Thank God I'm not the only one going through this! I know--it is so frustrating! I have a 15 month old as well, and she does the EXACT SAME THING! Especially when she doesn't get her way! Just know that you're not the only one in this boat...this too shall pass! They are hitting their "terrific" two's early!!

M.

This sounds like a hard situation for you! You've gotten some great responses here, and I would just like to reiterate the use of a "time out". The others have explained it great. Use what you have or can get, crib/pack n play/baby gate, etc. to issolate your child and issue the time out. Make sure that this isn't a place where she can play and have fun, because then it will be viewed as a fun time. No toys, books, tv, nothing. Just quiet until you come and get her. Check out a book at your local library called "Parenting with Love and Logic" or anything by Super Nanny. This isn't going to be a quick fix - it will likely take 3-10 days for this new discipline to sink in, so stick with it, stay firm and consistent, and follow through on whatever you say! (for example, if you say we're going to leave the store if you keep crying, then you will have to leave if she keeps crying) This is hard to do, but we're all with you and can relate! Stick with it and you will soon have a pleasent child on your hands again!!

Ok if I read your post right, you are the same one who is having problems with your husband and the way he treats you. Your problems in your marriage that you are having right now is having a major effect on your baby. The best advice is try to calm your stress somehow. Not sure how you will do that as I am pretty much in the same boat with my husband as u so I understand where you are coming form on that aspect. But you need to try and figure out a way to deal with the stress in your marraige then your baby may calm down. I have two daughters also, but mine are 11&9 but believe me when my husband and I had our oldest she saw more fights then she should have. So now I am paying for it as she is older now and me and her have huge screaming matches. I think it all deals back to when she was younger. I sure hope this helps. Please fill free to contact me if you wouold like to talk. My email is ____@____.com