Searching for the Cure to "Mommy Brain"

Catherine,

When I got overwhelmed I decided to prioritize and put everything in a calendar. I need to see it at all times so I use a calendar. Some may use a schedule book, palmpilot, or phones. I would start with the kids school functions and activities. Then any doctor or dental appointments. For my bills, I schedule what days they need to be payed. House-hold chores I seperated them: Monday clean bathroom, Tuesday vacuum Living Room, Wednesday sweep & mop & grocery shopping, ect.

If something pops up and I can't complete one I will re-schedule it for another day (asap).

Hope this helps.
T.

Hi Catherine-
I hear you. I think I have always had a case of the mommy brain....I just think that when life gets busy, if you are not a natural organizer, it takes some serious work.
What I have done (and when I do this it really works!) is similar to the clothing thing, but with food.

1. Snack bags. I swear by them. Sunday evening, after dinner, sit down at the table with a box of snack bags, a few bags of different fresh veggies, a bag of dried fruit like cranberries, a bag of nuts, etc. Make up 4 sets of 7 (one for each person, for each day of the week) plus a few extra to have on hand in case you need to munch. These are super healthy and easy to make. Then, I like to put a bin in the fridge to separate the types of snack baggies. One for mixed veggies, one for fruit/nut baggies, etc. Also, you can premake sandwiches, like pb & j. I go to Trader Joes and get the no sugar cruncy peanut butter and the low sugar jam. So tasty! On the little entemann's orowheat sandwich rounds, these are the perfect snacker/lunch sandwich. I keep a baggie of string cheese, some yo baby yogurts, and some meusli or granola in there, too. When it comes to making lunches, you can just grab a baggie of each and toss it in a bag. It will take you all of a minute to get it together!

2. Lists. Keep a grocery list on the fridge at all times, and a pen on a string attached to it. They make the magnet lists you can buy at the dollar store, or in the dollar section of Target. Cheap and simple. I also keep a To Do list ON the calendar. Whether it be pocket or otherwise, when I am without my list or order of things that need to be done, I am totally scatterbrained!

3. Bills- you are so on the right track for bills. To make it even simpler, not only did I do the organizer thing, but my bills have been split into 2 sections, and I only pay bills twice a month. the first half which are due by the 15th, get paid on the first when I do. The second half which are due anywhere between the 16-31, get paid on the 16th when I do. Done. My mother has also shown me that alot of places will do an auto pay through your checking account. Whilst you have to keep an eye on it, you don't have to worry that it's not paid, because it takes it out on the same day every month.

4. Cancel the sleep ins. I know that when my schedule changes, my brain and body have a hard time adjusting. Make Saturdays and Sundays depending on events, relaxing days, but get up no later than 8 a.m. My husband and I try to be up by 7 on weekends, and 6 on weekdays. We fail at it alot, but the effort is there. When we keep on a schedule, everything else seems to work out better. Lazy days are always fantastic, but for us- we need to be on vacation or camping or something to really be able to do that and not have it affect our daily routine.

I hope this helps! It sounds like you are already on the right track!
Have a wonderful weekend and a Merry Christmas!
-E. M

Hi Catherine.....

You really got my brain working this morning :O) I wish there was some MAGICAL response for all of us to make our lives eaiser to handle the chaotic life of kids :O) I don't have too many GREAT ideas that have helped me, but I'll share a few helpful routines that I use, in case you think they can help. I DO use the hanging clothes thing for my boys, and it really helps keep them independent on a daily basis.....that has saved 15-20 minutes in my house!

I also use Binders for EVERYTHING! I have about 5 active Binders in my home; Bills, Banking, Car/DMV info, all Ins info(house/car/medical), then Doctor/Medical/Prescription receipts. They each have dividers as needed....'my van", his truck", etc... I have a "tray" that I throw ever "binder item" into, then once a month (or so) I hole-punch and put all my pages into their binders. It REALLY has helped me find things in a hurry. It's also easier for Tax time, I have found.

Another daily helping hand.....I have a set of those 3ft high plastic stacking rolling drawers close to my kitchen. They have 4 drawers. I label 1 for each kid and I DAILY throw anything about their school year into their drawer. I even throw in the Yearbook & school pic receipts. During the summer, I empty it out into a "memory book" (usually a binder), or add things to their Classroom memory book, then throw the rest away, and the drawer is ready for next year. This has been the BEST thing I implemented in my home. I can even throw in notes and dates about "milestones" and accomplishments for that year, that I always mean to write in their baby book (which I never do). I only have 2 kids in the house, so I use the extra drawers to hold things I buy for their classrooms, like pencils, party loot bags, etc..... my last drawer is homework needs: pencils, erasers, markers crayons, scissors etc... easy access for them and they DO NOT go looking for my stuff :O) As far as fundrasing or donations, I do that IMMEDIATELY and turn it in early. I leave up to the Chairman to handle it early, but it's "out of my hands" and I've helped and didn't forget :O)

Lunches.......I used to spend every Sunday "baggy-ing" up lunches. Put 3 cookies in each baggie, chips, etc... then have the whole week ready to throw together.....It helped, but actually lunches don't take me that long anymore, so i don't work that hard on sunday anymore :O)

But the "key" to our home is routine. I consider my home having 2 routine's; 1 for the kids, and 1 for me.....everything runs smoother if the kids know "their routine"..... Your kids are at the age where I put (on poser board)the School Day Routine! The time that everything needed to be done by (written 5 minutes early for everything)....7:10 Breakfast 7:25 Brush teeth, etc.... It took about 2 weeks to work out all of the "kinks", but very soon, my boys knew the routine, and my gentle reminders are all they need to stay on schedule (we DO NOT have morning frustrations any longer!).

For myself????? the BEST thing that I did for me, was train myself to be a morning person, instead of being a "burning the midnight oil" mom :O) This has helped me significantly in my home. I get up at 5-5:30am and do everything I can before the chaos begins. I am better rested because of it, and I can keep up better with everything, and have more patience which is what I pray for everyday! This is also when I find "my time"....including having time for Mamasource :o) and reading. Eventually, I might add working out :O)

The older the kids get, the more diffcult the "routines" get... We will add soccer, and boy scouts, etc... then our homework routine may suffer, or the dinner time. but once you start with a "base" routine of expectations from your children, it was eaiser for me (and them) to adjust to the new/temporary routines. My routines for the kids even include video games and 8 o'clock bedtimes. They know exactly when they can play and when they cannot play. I also have my "laundry" routine, when I throw 1 load in every morning before we leave for school. When i come back, I get my 2nd load ready and rotate.....everyday I get 2 loads done and folded. Somedays it's just 1, but it is my "routine" that has become automatic and saves my life :O)

That's all i can think of sharing right now :O) I noticed that there wasn't alot of reposnes, so i wrote alot more than I usually do :O) I hope something I do in my home can help you, Catherine :O) It is SOOOOOOO hard to figure out where to begin to organize it all!! I think your kids are at the perfect age to adjust to a routine naturally. Just add few "key changes" without making a big deal about it. For me it was the breakfast routine....I begain saying "OK boys, it's 7:25 and you should be eating breakfast"...they really didn't need to eat until 7:40, but they didn't know that :O) So once, we "mastered" coming for breakfast, I added another "time" element, "ok Boys, it's 7:55, you should be brushing your teeth".....If you just shoot for everything being 5-10 minutes early at first, everyone can get into the rhythm of the day (even you). I found the perfect time for me to get dressed to drive :O) We've all adjusted to well to a "rhythm" that I can even leave the house with makeup on now!

I'm sure in 2 months, you will be sharing your perfect days and routines to help us mama's :O)Have fun!

Merry Christmas!

~N. :O)

Hi Catherine,
I so know where you are coming from. I have a disabled daughter (20 yo) but developmentally at about 3 yo and a teenaged son (16 yo) so I have been in the trenches for quite a while. What I have found invaluable is lists and routine.

I have lists for everything. Chores, groceries, etc. A good place to look for help is www.flylady.com. I used her system (don't worry, it's totally free) and really got my family whipped into shape. I have my lists on my computer (I use Microsoft Outlook) and I also use the calendar a lot because you can put stuff in and set up reminders.

The two tips you mentioned I have used or been using for years. However, I take it one step further. I have multiple binders. I have color coded them for quick reference. My daughter has always liked purple so that is her color (binder, file folders, forms (use a highligher in that color) as well as cups, etc) and my son is orange. I have all my important paperwork (Social security cards, medical cards, birth certificates, marriage liscense, doctor business cards, etc) in one binder that is easy to grab when needed. I also have a horizontal file by my computer that I put all of my incoming stuff into and then I sort periodically. Always go through your mail IMMEDIATELY and throw away junk mail. If necessary, put a garbage can by your front door (or whichever door you use the most) so you can throw it away before it comes in the house. A little one with an economy shredder is a good idea.

I also have a landing pad at the front door in my house. It has a shoe rack because we always take our shoes off when we come home. It also has a 10 hook coat rack that we hang our coats, backpacks, motorcycle helmets, etc on as well as a key rack right above it. That way whenever anyone gets home, they can unload right there and it doesn't get strung all over the house. My son also leaves his skateboard there. We have three dogs so we are always taking walks so we have a large hook right by the door for thier leashes.

I have also taken all of our towels and either cut a hole in the corner (the old ones) or use the tag (it is usually a loop) and hang them all on coat rack in each bathroom. It really saves time and space on folding and the kids find it a lot easier to hang them back up if they can be used again as well as eliminating the need for hand towels. I also have a laundry hamper just outside the door of each bathroom because that is where you usually take off your dirty clothes and they tend to get put into the basket instead of on the floor.

I have oodles of other ideas so don't hesitate to e-mail me (____@____.com) if you have a specific problem that you need help with.

Go to 'Flylady.com' It is a website that is totally devoted to helping stay organized and take baby steps to controling your life. It is a great way to work through your chaos. They even send you daily helpful reminders if you want them to.
Stay in control and breathe.....Relax - Relate - Release.

I love the responses! I concur with using some form of written or typed scheduling and keeping lists. I use my computer's calendar and a palm pilot to keep all appointments and my kids' schedules organized. I have a huge notebook (made from recycled paper) divided in 4 sections (Daily, Kids, Work, Projects.) I have "To Do" lists for each category and essential papers in the pockets provided. It frees up my brain capacity tremendously!

Make sure to have some time devoted to self-care in your appointment calendar and stick to it! Make sure you are taking care of your body and emotional needs by making appointments with yourself and with your husband. Massage, exercise, date-nights, etc... Stress relief is a great way to reduce "mommy-brain." If you're taking care of yourself, it makes it a WHOLE LOT easier to take care of your family.

When my kids were in grade school, I acquired some bins that stacked and were on wheels. I assigned one for each child AND one for my husband. Items that needed to go with them the following morning (signed school papers, etc., for kids and wallet, etc., for husband) went in their basket. The baskets were stacked next to the front door so it was the last thing to grab before exiting the house. It saved us hours of last-minute searches for items. Just remember to institute these organizational changes one by one --- it takes about two months to build a habit, good or bad. Make these changes gradually, get used to one (make it a good habit), then make another change. Before you know it, you'll be that calm, organized mom you've always wanted to be. Good luck!

My "mommy brain" improved by taking Omega 3's. When I don't have them names go out of my head very quickly. There is a brand called Nordic Naturals that is very good. The kind with a lot of DHA helps improve brain function.

My kids are 9 and 12, and it's still difficult to organize them, so making me work more efficient is what works for me. Good luck :-)

I'm on the computer all the time, so I use a product called Life Balance by Llamagraphics. It keeps track of all your To Do's. You can organize them by location (it's got an iPhone component as well as desktop) and by category (work, home, volunteering, gifts). For each task you can set an "importance" and a "difficulty", along with due date (one time, routinely every x days/weeks/years, etc). It prepares and prioritizes your lists for you. I've been using it for years and love it.

I also use Google calendar and share mine with my husband, so he can always see what's going on.

Good luck!

Here's what helped me: the kids growing up.

I wish I had something more helpful to tell you, but I mean, you do work full time. I think you might be expecting a little too much from yourself.

No ideas for structure, but I still have MAJOR "mommy brain." I get easily distracted or forgetful and it drives DH crazy. My twins are 21 months old and they demand a lot of attention so he feels a bit ignored. SOrry dude!

Catherine,

I know all to well the "mommy brain". I have two daughters 18 months and 3.5 years old. My memory was altered during pregnancy and has not fully returned. What helps me is keeping a planner/ calendar. I write done everything that needs to be done on that day and even include when I will go to the gym, give myself a pedicure and take a relaxing bath. Also, I typed and taped into my planner, a weekly schedule detailing when I wake up, exercise, get the girls up, drop them off, work and return home. I am a visual person so having a schedule readily available for me to refer back to helps a lot. Good luck!
- T.

One thing that helps our family is that we have a clear acrylic folder holder (like from an office) on the wall near the front door with 3 slots. Anything that needs to go out in the morning (mail, permission slips, other paperwork, etc.) goes into that so we don't forget it in the morning. We also have little cubbies by our front door for backpacks, lunches, etc. That way in the morning, we can grab and go. I'm looking forward to hearing other suggestions as well!

A. R.

I have a calendar/planner from Franklin/Covey with a daily and monthly calendar. I write down notes from calls, ideas for gifts, To-Do lists, everything! If it isn't written down I will forget it. I also have a location I put stuff that needs to go to school the next day - a staging area, so to speak. More then anything I try to address things every day - Mail, for instance. I immediately toss all Direct Mail solicitations, ad circulars in recycling. Catalogs go in a catalog basket, magazines are stacked with the magazines. Bills go in the to-be-paid cubby. Items that need special attention are stowed in my franklin (organizer). I also have a file of "to-be-filed" items that I file every 2 months or so. Good-luck!

What an interesting topic!
Some of my favorite tricks:
*Laundry bins with wheels and handles (from OSH) and doing one persons laundry alone, so there is no sorting different people's clothes at the end
*Grouping things together for the kids---cereal, bowls and spoons on the same shelf
*No Extraneous Paper allowed in the house---if you can't decide if you want it or not, you don't! Recycle.
*Frequent use items need to be kept as close as possible to the area of use
*Anytime bins--like a mending/hemming bin for clothes, when I get a free moment or am watching TV.
*I have to run the dishwasher every day--or it is a mountain of dishes that turns into two mountains before I know it
*Making food ahead of time--thing that can be reheated. I like to cook when the kids are at school, because they distract me too much. Soups and stews are easy to store and warm up.
*Cheap washrags as napkins for the kids. More absorbent, and keeps them from wasting six paper ones at a time.
*Eliminate clutter--hang photos on the wall instead of standing frames that cover surfaces.
*Big dog pillows with washable covers on the floor, for the kids to lie on, sit on, play on... (with washable covers) Keeps them from using the furniture as a playground, and making it sticky.
*Buy supplies before you need them to avoid emergencies (toothbrushes, razors, milk, tape...)
*Routines for the kids--the same every day. They get used to it and will stop pleading and whining. =)