Hi, I am having so many problems with my 4 yr. old son. I have had these problems since he was a toddler and I figured he would outgrow it but he is not. We have been through 2-3 Mother's Day Our Program because of outbursts, anger, disrespectful. I can not get him to listen at all I have tried all types of disciplines. I've asked advice from other moms seen a therapist and none of these are working. I need help very much so I am very concerned that we are spiraling out of control in this house. My son is a good boy we are just having so many problems with listening, and behaving. We are getting to the point were it is dangerous. Just yesterday I went to go outside and my little girl spit up everywhere so I cleaned us up and by the time I was outside my son was gone. I figured he rode with his father to see Grandparents but he was by himself walking down the road. I was totally freaked out because I have told 100+ times of danger and no going out of the yard without mommy and daddy. We are in town he runs away from through parking lots I have a 7Month old as well so it has become even harder to to catch him. I don't want anything to happen to my son but I can not get him to listen to us either. I am thinking we need to start talking to a dr. any suggestions?? Thank you for all of your help everyone I so very desperately need it.
Thank you ladies for the advice. Yes, I have been to a therapist Dr. Selholm with Andrew last yr. she did diagnose him with ADD. I am very anti-medicine but I don't know if we need a new therapist or what because I'm trying the things she's telling me and it's still getting out of hand. My mom is always telling me I'm being hard on him but like the other day running down the road by himself that deserved a serious reprocussion. He got his booty tore up and talked to again about the danger of leaving the yard. No one likes having to spank their child and only use it when it's something very serious most of the time we can get away with a time out and talk to afterwards but when they still are not listening you get to that point what to do. It's why we went to the therapist in the first place.
Maybe you're just not tough enough on him. Try being more firm and don't ever ask him to please do anything. Parents who ask their kids to please do this, sound whimpy to their children and the child will not take you seriously. Be tough and stick to your punishments and follow through with your threats.
You might want to start with a child psycologist. A psycologist can diagnose and provide behavior therapy and recommend a psychiatrist if medication management is needed.
I don't have any personal experience on the situation with your boy. But I would like to add that, if we turns out that he gets diagnosed with mental disorder (ADD/ADHD) or something else, you should know that there many ingredients in our diets that are associated with aggressive behavior in children.
It is up to you what route to take (alternative medicine using diet/supplements vs. traditional medicine using drugs,) but jumping into a psychologist or psychiatrist right away would most likely end up into the path of taking medication, and he is too young for that. Maybe you should see a Naturopathic doctor.
Do some research online on behavioral problems such as ADD, ADHD, autism in children and diet. You would be amazed what the food industry is feeding our children! Its not just the sugar...
IMO 4 yrs old is WAY to young to be outside by himself! Most of the 4 year olds I know would have wandered off as well. Since you know he is highly active you may try heading off his behavior before it starts. Easier said than done I know. When my sister was having similar problems with my nephew she started keeping him right at her side unless he was sleeping. A month of this and we saw vast improvements. He did not want to be attatched to moms side the whole day and understood that if he wanted some freedom it came with responsibility! Good luck!
It sounds very much like ADD or ADHD. I would consider talking to your family doc or the pediatrician & get their recommendations. While he's pretty young, there have been many times when you can tell that early. I knew someone with ADHD pretty bad & while they were generally a good kid, they would go through these boughts where they would get physically abusive. They wouldn't listen at all. They would take off in the middle of the mall. Their attention span was quite short. They would get very antsy in school K & first grade) and would then act out because they didn't know what to do with all that energy. It is quite treatable but diagnosis of the proper thing is key. Good luck with your little one!
