Seeking Guidance for My 7Yr Old Son

Please look into Sensory Processing Disorder and Twice Exceptional Children. Google those two for info. I am a pediatric physical therapist that works with occupational therapists who work with these issues. Many times because of these issues a child tends to "fall apart" at school and can be completely different at school than at home or in other situations.

Can you work to make a plan of action with the help of your son's teacher?

Ask her for suggestions/help...ideas of what to try at home...work together on a reward chart...

When my son had a period of acting up...his teacher and I worked together to form a plan of action...and it helped get him back on track.

I would start with a conference with his teacher and see if she has any ideas.

Turning it over to God is good, but God does expect you to do the footwork.

In this situation, I believe the "footwork" includes teaching your child to respect authority figures - apparently he does not at this time.

I'm glad you just didn't blindly accept the school's diagnosis of ADHD - they label any kid who doesn't sit quietly with hands folded as ADHD because if they can get you to medicate your kid, their lives get much easier!

I really believe that your pedi is right. It's a matter of maturity and it will get better. One thing I think you can do to help him mature a bit is to give him something to be responsible for a home. Something that has to be done every day. And make HIM do it, even if you have to get him out of bed at night to do it. He needs to learn some responsibility.

I agree with Retta S. Work with the teacher to make a plan. If any one of the staff suggested changing teachers then I'd do it. They know their staff and your son. But if that was just offered as an option and not a recommendation then I agree that he should stay with the same teacher.

It's very important for you to talk enough with the teacher that you develop a good relationship and work with her to find a way to help your son. How often have you actually discussed this situation with her? i.e. not counting the report only. My granddaughter is having difficulty in school and her parents exchange e-mails with her teachers every week and sometimes more than once. They talk on the phone and in person.

I also suggest finding some short term counseling with an educator to talk about what is reasonable behavior and how to treat his behavior when it's not. What you're doing now is not working. I suggest you find another way to discipline him. That is why you're asking this question? I don't know enough about yours and your son's situation to make any specific suggestions. A professional person, perhaps the schools guidance counselor, could be helpful.

Being academically smart or the smartest... has nothing to do with emotional maturity or development.

My son has a classmate, that is very bright. But, he is also known for causing a lot of trouble.... to the Teachers and to the other kids.
So then, the classroom and the other kids, gets affected. And that is where, it becomes a "problem." Other kids, complain about him too, because he pointedly, causes trouble, to others. He knows he is. But he still does it. He is now, being seen by the school Counselor, to learn about appropriateness and impulse control etc.
But this kid, he has big cute puppy dog eyes, and even when he is causing trouble and knows it, he will play innocent in it all. And then give his "poor me" puppy dog look.
He even got my son in trouble once. My son knows this boy is full of trouble, so he tries not to sit by him etc. But, the boy will follow him around and sit by him, regardless if my son speaks up or not and tells the Teacher. So once, the boy was bothering my son, my son told him to stop and he wouldn't. So then, my son got so irked and because the boy was not respecting or listening to being told to stop by my son, so my son (who is 6) LOUDLY said "STOP IT!" and he hence, got in trouble for "yelling" in class. And the other boy, played all innocent saying he wasn't doing anything. But so my son, had to explain to the Teacher etc. and it was so, frustrating for him.

So the degree of trouble a child causes in class, can vary, and in scope and in how it affects all of the other students. And sure, if a certain kid always causes trouble, other kids may not like him or her.

Through repetition and repeated behavior, even if no one actually says he is a trouble maker... people by mere observation, will associate a child with certain labels. Good or not.

Many great minds, can sabotage themselves because of their attitude or behavior or bad habits. Smartness, does not equal wise.

And some people/kids, just because they are always told how smart they are... they start to think that they can do whatever they want. Because they are always told how smart they are. And they feel entitled.

Doesn't your son's school, have Counselors???
That is what they are there, for.
To facilitate help for a child. Especially when the problem has become to much for a classroom and Teacher to handle one on one everyday all day.

It doesn't matter if the Teachers are young or old.
Nor does age of the Teacher, determine how capable a teacher is or not.
My son's Kindergarten Teacher, was the youngest Teacher on campus. BUT... she is SOOOOOOOOOO good at teaching AND at handling the kids. And her class, even if it was full of boys...was one of the most behaved classes on campus.

I have a 7 year old son as well. Each year in his classes, it is clear that there are children that are more difficult to deal with than others. That said, while I'm sure you are overwhelmed by not hearing that your child is as bright and wonderful as you like to believe, denial about his behavior at school will solve absolutely nothing. Clearly there is a problem. Waiting for God to fix it, or moving him to another school will not solve anything.

I think it's wonderful that you have taken an active role in working with his teachers and the counselor. Perhaps a family counselor would be a beneficial addition as well. He/she may be able to give you tips on what you can be incorporating at home to improve his behavior.

Change starts with you and Dad. You must put forth an effort to deal with this situation, and not simply blame the teachers and administrators whom you think are too young to do their job properly. While it's admirable that you have a degree in psychology, it is often extremely difficult to identify what we are doing wrong ourselves. It's very easy to see where everyone else is going wrong, but us? No!

Get outside help and come to the realization that there is a problem with your son's behavior that needs to be addressed. And it needs to be addressed by you and Dad. Good luck.

This could all be a mix of poor teacher/student relationship, and your son having a foundation of being undisciplined for 3 years.

Teachers and schools are around kids all the time. This gives them the advantage that they can spot a disruptive child quickly. This gives you and/or your child the disadvantage of being "labeled".

I'm curious, how exactly was your son spoiled? Say you were in the grocery store, and he wanted a candy bar (or whatever kids want at the store). What did he do if you said no and how did you handle it?

Maybe they are getting overstimulated in class-hence the burst of energy. They don't know what to do?

There are smells, noises, etc that they are not used to, that can make them feel like they are going crazy.

Try to work with school to see if you can come up with an action plan to work through this behavior. So, basically the teacher has to have control of the class, if she is getting frazled by this behaivor- it will continue.

Good Luck.

I didn't have time to read all of the other answers but thought I respond quick so sorry if it's repeat of what someone else said.

It could also be that there's just a personality conflict with your son and the teacher. And he may have been labeled at the school because of kindergarten. I would bet most of it is just maturity and in time these things won't be an issue.

My son also had trouble in 1st grade. He is witty beyond his years and some teachers appreciate his humor and enjoy him but others just don't click with him. I came to this conclusion because he is now in 6th grade and doing fantastic. He's had a couple teachers since 1st grade that just don't get him but all in all, he is not a naughty kid, just a kid who has a big personality.

My big word of advice would be to not look at your kid as bad and treat him like he's horrible. Realize he's a good kid who messes up sometimes and isn't perfect. Look at his heart and motives. I unfortunately freaked out and thought I had a rotten kid and was so hard on him which in all reality, he's a great kid, has a great heart and good character, he just gets bored sometimes which is what happens to the smart kids. Hopefully your son's teachers can see the good in him instead of going focusing on the bad cause he will act out what's expectations people are putting on him. And if they expect him to be naughty, that's what they're going to get. Reward good behavior and hopefully things will change.

Hope this helps:)