Seeking Help with Discontinuing Pacifier Use!

That is sooo cute! When I did it my daughter was about the same age. I told her that she was a big girl now and that it was her job to pass hers down to the babies that needed them. So we put them in a ziplock baggie and put them in the mail. The mail man came and before we went into the mail box I went in there and threw them in the bushes. Which later I grabed and threw out. She thought the mail man took them to the other babies. Dont get me wrong it wasnt that easy. She later realized what she had done and screamed. She did cry at night and when she wanted it. But it only lasted 2 days. Be strong you can do it! Good luck!

Hi I.,
My daughter didn't have a pacifier, she did insist on a bottle of milk at bedtime. She will be 3 in Sept so I reaaly wanted to get rid of that habit. A few weeks ago, I just told her no when she asked for it at bedtime. (This was led up to by weeks of saying she was just a big girl and babies are for bottles.) She wan't to happy about it but after just 2-3 days, she got over it. I was pleasantly suprised. Good luck!

My BIL cut a tiny hole in the end of his son's at that age and when little man showed his dad, my BIL explained it was broken and they needed to throw it away. So he threw it away and when little man cried my BIL reminded his son that he had to throw it away...

My neighbor talked my daughter into throwing it away and that was that....when she whined about it I just told her that she threw it away it was gone...she was a big girl now. In the morning I would praise her for being a big girl. She was fine. I would sometimes see her giving another baby's pacey a longing look, but when I would ask her if she wanted a pacifier, she would grin and say "no way, I'm a big girl now"....but you could tell she wanted that pacifier.

My son is a little more attached I think. He's even given me a hard time about weening and I use the pacifier to try to appease him so we can get him off mommy. I'm wondering if he will be that easy.

Explain to him that it has to go away because it will hurt his teeth and then get rid of it. There will be a few days of hurt and then it will be gone.

Hello I.,
I'm going through the same thing with my daughter. I have taken it way during the day and will only give it to her at night. Now that she only get's it at night, I cut a little of the nipple off each day. Its a slow process, but is working so far. Good luck !!

My son was the same age as yours when I got rid of his pacifier. He was also very attached to it. I tried limiting use and to gradually get rid of it, but that never worked. I ended up have to throw everything out (he wasn't discerning about a particular paci). It ended up that he didn't really even care. I was making it a bigger deal than it actually was. He did have a blanket, which he still uses today (at 4 yrs old), but we don't take it out of the house. Does he have a favorite stuffed animal, etc that could be traded for the pacifier?

Oh, I feel your pain. My son was so attached I couldn't bring myself to get rid of it until he was 3 1/2. I started by restricting it to his bed. That was a hard adjustment as he constantly had it in his mouth and it was affecting his speech. After doing that for awhile, I told him the NUK fairy would be visiting. I picked a date on the calendar, and kept reminding him. He seemed excited about the present she would bring, and willingly handed them over when it was time. He was fine the first night, but cried at naptime and bedtime for the next couple of days. I gently reminded him that the fairy took them all away (and make sure they are really all gone so he doesn't find a stray one, or you are not tempted to give in). It went much better than I expected. He did give up his naps for a few weeks, but I was able to get him back to napping once he got over missing the Nuks. Good luck!

My husband started to prepare our son a couple weeks before he turned three, saying that once he was three there weren't going to be any more pacis. I told him we would send his pacis (he had about 8 of them!) in the mail to another little boy who didn't have any pacis. He seemed to really get into that idea. When the time came, we had a hard time on the first two nights and the first two days of naps, but then it was like magic--he quit even asking. And he was really attached to them, too! So I thought he'd forgotten about sending them, but one day a few days after quitting pacis, he came to me and reminded me about the plan to send them so we found a box and he put all the pacis in it and we walked together out to the mailbox and put them in. When he was busy playing later I ran out and got the box back out, so the mail man wouldn't be concerned about a bomb threat or something! hope this helps....I know it's hard to take away something that's such a comfort to your kid.

I think you can tell him Mippy doesn't want to be in his mouth. Mippy just wants to play. You can pretend to be the voice of Mippy. His imagination is just about to come alive so use it to yopur advantage.

I used scissors to slowly cut the tip of the pacifier off. Every few days I would cut it down just a little bit more. Be sure you go really slow! It worked for my 2 yr old. Hope that helps.

I say get rid of it cold turkey. You can do this in one of two ways:

-Just gather up all the pacifiers one day and throw them away. As tempted as you might be, do not keep one 'in reserve' just in case. Get rid of all of them. When he searches for them, help him in the search and just say something like "Oh no! I can't find them! They're all gone." Will he be upset? Yes. Will this take a few days? Probably. Does he need the pacifier at 3? No.

-Gather up all the pacifiers and enlist his help. Tell him that there are babies out there in the world that need the pacifiers now that he is 'almost a big boy of 3 years old'. Put them in a bag and hang them on a tree outside for the 'Pacifier Fairy' for pick up (or wherever you can put them). Tell him how proud you are of him for becoming a big boy and for sharing his pacifiers with the babies who need them. Have a big ceremony if you need to. When he wakes up the next morning, have some sort of 'present' from the Pacifier Fairy to your son (a toy or book of his liking). Will he still look for the pacifiers? Probably. Will he forget that he 'gave' them to the Pacifier Fairy? Likely, but just remind him about his choice to be a big boy and help out the babies.

Good luck - this probably isn't going to be easy (this is a 3 year habit you're trying to break; he's probably not going to change very willingly) but I can guarantee that he won't be scarred for life because you took the pacifier away from him.

Much of the advice I would give is already contained in other pieces of advice given. Just a few thoughts though...
1. I personally do not believe in the "paci fairy". To me you are in essence lying to your child. And then we as parents wonder where did our children learn to lie. (this would also go in line with other advice that offers an untruthful way of where the pacis are going). It seems a harmless thing, but depending on how "attached" your child is, if he discovers the truth, he may get very upset.
2. One suggestion not offered up is taking the paci's to Build-A-Bear and actually having them sew the pacis within the bear.

I do think it needs to be the child's choice though. I don't like my DD's paci either, but even when we had her throw them away herself and she knew where they went, she was simply not ready. 2 weeks later we were STILL having extreme sleep issues. (It was taking her 2 hrs to get down at night when it used to be minutes). She had stopped asking for it, she knew where it was, but it was such a habit, that she couldn't do without it. I ultimately caved and bought a new one. She went right back to sleeping like normal. I know that my story is the extreme case, but hearing how attached he is to it, it is not unlikely that he could react the similarly.

After 2 weeks of sleep craziness, I decided it was not worth it and when she is ready, she'll be ready. I bring it up every few weeks, and she still isn't ready to part with it. And frankly, I'm OK with it. Some kids suck their thumb/fingers (and you can't take those away) other kids love their loveys, and stuffies, but if it's a comfort item, I just personally don't think it's worth it. If there was a risk of dental issues that is one thing, but barring that, I don't think it's a big deal.

Don't feel too bad, when my daughter was turning 3 I was also 8 months prego and she needed to fully potty train by the time preschool started in 6 months. I decided to do things one at a time...obviously the baby's arrival was first! She got rid of her binky a couple of months after she turned 3. We also got a backyard playset at that time so we tied the two together - that she was a big girl getting a new playset but the binky had to go. It sort of involved her in the decision process too. It was a hard couple of days so you are prepared to brace yourself but she got over it. For us we felt bad because the new baby was having a binky and thought she might be jealous or feel she lost hers to the baby, but that didn't seem to be an issue surprisingly (the baby did have different "baby" binkies). Good luck!

I agree with him helping you to get rid of all the paci's in one way or another. I would suggest having him choose a new "friend" (stuffed animal, doll, blanket) that will take the place of his paci. He's old enough to understand it, so let him know it's coming, and tell him you are so excited for him to get a new toy to love and carry.

Hope that helps,
T.

www.ReadandGrow.com
Barefoot Books Ambassador

I'm a big fan of Super Nanny -- the way she has handled the situation is have a 'paci-fairy' come and take all the pacis away. Her technique -- go around with his help & collect all the pacifiers. Put them in an envelope & put them out for the paci-fairy at night. Explain that he's too old for the pacifiers and that the paci-fairy needs to take them to all the other kids who need a pacifier. When he wakes up the next morning, have him run outside to see what the paci-fairy left him! Maybe it's some action figures, cars / trucks, etc...something a little more age appropriate. Super Nanny makes the packaging elaborate -- ribbons, glitter, the whole works! On TV it works flawlessly! Only very little crying!

we went cold turkey with my son when he was a little over 2yrs old. However at 18 months I cut back his use of it to only at nap time and bed time. When we decided to get rid of it we had 3 nights of crying that he wanted it - but sure enough on day 4 he had gotten over it and never asked for it again. I do think the older the child the harder it becomes!!! Best of luck!!!

At 3 years we had a visit from the "binky" or "mippy" fairy. She came and took the pacifier and replaced it with something special (in my daughter's case a Hannah Montana doll). Is there something that your son would really like that you could make the swap for? We never went back to the pacifier either. She understood that it was now being used by a baby who needed it and that she got the doll in return for the pacifier. I've got 8 months before I have to do this with my second child.

Just after 3, my kids gave it to their dentist because he said you can't have it any more. I had dropped off a present ahead of time, a lovie and a princess stuffed animal to help them sleep. Naps stopped after giving it up but after a week falling asleep at night was not a problem.

Good luck

I just did this with my 3 year old son. We had gotten down to only one pacifier that was his FAVORITE. One day I cut the tip off. He founf it and could not believe it was broken. I told him it was b/c he was too big for it and it was only made for babies. It actually took 2 weeks of him asking for it at bedtime, naptime, or any other time. Once he even asked me to go buy a new one!
I think we are finally done though(as of last week). The only problem is now he falls asleep in my bed at night. When he was so upset about the pacifier, he would hold my hand to fall asleep. I tried stuffed animals, but he would have a dinosaur in one hand and hold mine with the other. I am sure this will not last...but I think it is sweet...for now :)
Just make sure when you decide to do it you get rid of all the pacifiers in your house or you will be tempted to give in. I know I was!@!@!
Good Luck
J.

Hi I.
It is a hard thing for them to give up, it becomes such a soothing piece of comfort for them, Towards 3 years old my Daughter was only allowed to have it during naps or bedtime that went well, eventually (it took awhile she was ready to give it to the bobo(that's what we called it) fairy for new babies that needed the comfort of one. She was excited about that however again I felt she needed to be ready because she was so attached to it and she always had ear infections and other issuues going on. If the dentist doesn't see a problem I would not be too worried he will be ready soon enough.

Good Luck

V.

I read a lot about the paci fairy and that's a great idea. Also, if you son is using it as a playmate, you could take it to build a bear and have him pick out a stuffed animal to make, and instead of putting a heart put his pacifier inside. That was "Mippy" is now a object (bear, frog, etc.) and can't be put in his mouth. This will only work if he isn't extremely attached to putting it in his mouth. If you think he'll rip the bear open for the paci then the paci fairy would be a better choice. (or cut the nipple before putting it in the bear.)

You may have found a solution by now, but in case you're interested in seeing more information, you can take a look at this resource (scroll to the bottom)...

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t104600.asp#T104606

Best wishes,
J.

I agree with Danielle B, the build-a-bear idea is very cute and the child doesn't have to actually "throw out" his/her lovey to stop using it (at least to be sucked on!) I like that the child is involved in the process from start to finish and knows where it went; kind of like it grew with the child much like a blankie or pillow or stuffed animal stays with the child when they grow.

I., First I need to tell you that my daughter is the same age and is still using and loving her paci! Guilty! We are doing it this week. I did it with my older daughter at age 2 and dreaded it and put it off but it wasn't as big og deal as i was expecting. my older daughter was really attached to it too though. We first cut it off at naps then bedtime. (those are the only times we let her have it, just to sleep) We told her the story of the pacifier fairy who comes to take them and give them to baby's who need them, she's big and doesnt need it anymore. The fairy will take them and then leave you a present. What i thought would be nights of crying turned out to be about fifteen minutes of crying and that was about it. she asked for it a few times after that. the only thing that did end up happening after dropping the paci was naps were tougher. it was harder for her to calm down to nap without it. it took longer to fall asleep. we'll do the same with my youngest, i am worried that my younger daughter is more stubborn and it is never a good time to not sleep at night. wish me luck!
best of luck to you too. be strong. throw them out once you make the decision so that you cant cave when you're weak.

Hi I.,
I know how you feel. My son just turned 3 this past weekend and about 3 months ago, I simply took it away so that when he woke up he could not find it. He cried for it, screamed and was distraught, however within 2 days he forgot all about it. He asked for it once in a while but basically it was just 2 days of me feeling horrible. I kept telling him he is a big boy and that he is going to school and that it the binky was for babies..of course in a sweet tone of voice. It was heart breaking but I am so happy I finally did it. Recently, my daughter found one and gave it to him and I almost died when he walked into my bathroom about 2 week ago with one in his mouth. I simply took it from him and told him I had to give it back to the baby. He said, "okay"...talk about a relief. Good luck!
S.

He'll give it up when he's ready. Don't worry so much! :)

A.

You have a two year and ll month old and an 11 month old? Anyway, my granddaughter has a pillow; a horrible, horrible looking, dirty funky pillow that she will not part with. You can fold this thing up and put it in a small brown paper bag, that's how flat it is because 99.9 percent of the stuffing is gone. She's practically traumatized if she can't find it. It's her friend, her baby doll, her sister, etc. We're praying that one day, she will toss it on her own. Until then, we just have to stomach looking at it. I'm thinking that you might just have to do the same thing. They have become very attached to these items and I think it would be devastating for them if we took them away. Let him lose interes on his own.
Barb

Greetings,,,We worried about the same thing too. However as our daughter lost them we stopped replacing them and much to our amazement, one day she let us know she didn't need it anymore. When WE stopped bugging her about it, she stopped trying to hold onto it.

I'm sorry that I don't have any advice, but I just had to comment. Your son sounds darling. Mippy is just about the cutest thing that I have ever heard and I love how he dramatizes with it. He sounds like quite a character. Good luck!

My son was also very attached to his binky. So, leading up to his 3rd birthday, we kept telling him that 3 year olds are big boys and they don't need binkies anymore. I also told him the story of the Binky Fairy who comes to take his binkies, but will leave him a fun surprise in its place. So, the day after his 3rd birthday, the Binky Fairy came and left him a gift. It worked beautifully!! He only asked for a binky one time and had no problems going to sleep like I thought.

you can first try out letting him know that it must stay at home, and if you can't do that then if you go somewhere then tell him that it can go in the store with you

In my opinion, when he is ready to get rid of the pacifier, he will. As long as it is not causing any dental problems, let him use it until he no longer wants it. Be greatful he does not have a thumb-sucking habit (my daughter caused dental problems by sucking her thumb until she was about 5. We tried everything to get her to stop and nothing worked until she was ready). Every child has some sort of security device whether it is a blankie, a doll, or a pacifier. Let him grow out of it himself.