Seeking Some Advice.... - Laurel,DE

S.,

I do not think you can ever get it acrossed to your older child that the younger one just likes spending time with him. I remember being on both ends of it. I remember wanting to spend time with my older sister and her friends and i remember hating it when my younger sister wanted to spend time with me and my friends. I think its just something that siblings do. Maybe you could suggest that your older son and his friend spend a little time with the younger one but if they choose not too than you cannot really say anything to the older. KWIM?
Once your younger child gets into school and makes friend it probably wont be as much of an issue.

well with your 3yr old and 6yr old you need to let the oldest know that if he wants to play with the youngest one's toys that he has to let the youngest play with some of his toys or it would not be fair also you can tell him that just cause the 3yr old wants to do everything that he does one day the 3yr old will not want to do anything at all with his big brother and when that day come the oldest will want to do what the youngest is doing but wont be able too

Hi S.! I am in the same boat! I have 3 kids....2 are girls...ages 10 and 7 (see a pattern here?). My oldest used to ALWAYS ignore her sister. She wouldn't share her toys but when the younger sister got something new, the oldest wanted to play with it. The younger wanted to play with her sister so much that she shared, in spite of the fact that her sister never shared. I just constantly told the older one that her sister loved and adored her and wanted to be like her. I reminded her that while she was still young herself, she was the role model for her younger sister. And, I asked her repeatedly, how would she feel if her sister wouldn't share with her. Some times I forced her to share. Some toys were "sacred". Usually it was brand new toys that were sacred. If she had them for awhile and they were no longer "new", she had to share. Now, they both do pretty well at sharing with each other. They have friends who are also sisters and they will all play together very nicely. But we still have toys that are "sacred". My oldest just had her birthday party and it was up to her whether or not to share with her sister at this point or play by herself. Guess what? She chose to share so that she had someone to play with! It all works out in the end. When they are little, they are still the "center of the universe" and don't care about other people's feelings yet. It is up to you to instill that in them. And it sounds to me like you are on the right track towards doing that! Have faith! It will get better!

I recommend reading them books about sharing and siblings!! Kids learn really well through pictures and characters. Also, I would buy toys that they need to play together with: such as...games that require more than 1 player, play dough, etc. If they only have a few of their own toys, and have more toys that are "shared toys", chances are they will get bored w/ their toys and want to play together. Good luck.

This too shall pass....nothing will change it, it's the age and relativity theory...too many years in between, and related. My sons have just started playing, bonding, now that they are 14 and 10.. The older one was always one step ahead maturity-wise, and didn't want to do "baby" things. Now, it warms my heart to hear them together. Just be a buffer for tough times. Good luck. W.