Sensitive Mommy... That's Me :-)

She is very normal. She's not a baby anymore. There are lots of ways to express love with out being so hands on.
7 year olds are into their mommy's when they are sick.

Oh, hang in there. I have a son who will only cuddle and hug and wants only me when he is sick! It happens only about once a year (he's generally really healthy), and we both milk it for all it's worth :) He told me in preschool that he couldn't wait to have a car of his own, so he could "get in a truck and drive away". I almost died inside! But that's the way some kids are. He's just SO independent. Try to see the best part of it :) Better than a clinger, right? Just let her know you are there, when she needs you :)

Hi L. - I know you have had lots of replies already but I just wanted to say thanks for bringing this issue up. I have 2 girls 13 and 11 3/4 and my son is 10. My oldest is a Mommas girl and follows me all over the house.
She went to her first "solo" school dance this February and I was so nervous for her. I even walked her inside and made sure she found her friends. She was braver than I was. So I know we all have to let go sometime but I feel for you - 7-8 seems kinda young, but all kids are different. Go with the flow I guess, they will come back again I'm sure of it.
Kind regards
M. F

Dear "Sensitive Mommy" L.,

I think there is a large range in terms of the closeness and affection children show to parents, even at a young age. I've seen some 7-year-olds who are very affectionate with their parents, and some who are very distant. My own son, who is 3, is already telling me he likes playing with his friends better than with me, and wants to have playdates all the time. I could feel a little sad about this (I do), but I am also happy he is making friends and engaging in a social life. I know he loves me anyway. :)

It's great that you and your daughter have a close relationship, even if she does not want the physical closeness that you crave. It seems like she is confident that you love her, and so she doesn't need to win your affections, and that is a good thing. Even if your daughter pushes away, just be there for her. Kids may want freedom, but they still need your guidance and protection for a long time yet.

Best,

Nessa

Yep. Sounds as if YOU are having "separation anxiety".
It's a tough growth process; but kids want to grow up; and their friends become more important.
Truth is, you'll always be Mommy.
Even though my youngest is 15, this is the age when they want to hang with friends; but we have "Mom Time" every week or so, nothing structured or routine; but it's just us. He's such a
Perhaps you want to try that with your daughter. A movie, a shopping expedition, a nature walk, an art class or a live performance. And it's your time together. Though it may not be as frequent (daily), these are the times you make memories...
Blessings, S.

I have 3 teenaged children ( 2 daughters aged 19 and 16 and a 14 yr old son). Im not an expert by any means, but when my older daughter stopped wanting to be so close it was because some kids at school started teasing her that she was still a baby clinging on to her Mommy. Of course it could be something as simple as just wanting to become more independant. Or perhaps theres something else going on bothering her that she cant seem to talk about? Could be any of numerous reasons, but just remember this- No matter what, talk to your child and let them know you are there for them and respect their wishes of becoming more independant (should that be the case) . As for choosing friends over you? Never doubt a childs love of their parents :) Having friends is all part of the growing process.
With my younger daughter - she never wanted to hug or kiss anyone but Mommy. My parents and other family members would be upset by this, but I never forced her to. One thing I know-NEVER force a child to do things as such if they dont want to. ( This doesnt include chores and helping out lol) . It actually teaches them in the years to come to be Street Smart! If a child learns that they have to do whatever an adult (any adult) tells them (and I dont mean to scare you here) but if a stranger were to come along and tell them to do something bad, then they will because they were taught to do as the adult says. Not sure Ive helped here, but I hope so.

You are really going to have to toughen up. It sounds like she is being totally normal. But you can't make her feel like she's hurting your feelings -- don't even act like it! It's not fair to her because she isn't doing anything to intentionally hurt you -- she's just discovering who she is. Girls LOVE their friends. And it gets much much worse (as far as friends being important) in just a few short years. At some point, most girls not only don't want anything to do with their parents, but they're also embarrassed by them and some can't stand them. I have two daughters -- one 22 and one 12. I've been-there-done-that with my older. And if you just keep loving them they eventually come back around. We're good friends now, but at one point in her life she could barely stand me. Brace yourself woman! And find supportive friends with kids the same age!

Sorry to tell you this, but it only gets worse from here!! haha!! Find something you both like to do and make a date every now and then to do it together. Also, embrace her friends. Don't try to be the super-cool mom that her friends will want hanging around, but you can take her and her friends places, like take them to the movies then go for ice cream afterwards to discuss the movie together. Even if she is not cuddly, you need to make sure you keep the lines of communication open so she will be comfortable coming to you when she's a teen

Sounds like your daughter is just going through one of her growing up/growing independent phases... when something isn't going smoothly she'll be running right back to you to help make things better! Just stay close and be available to her, but acknowledge to her that you see she is getting more grown up. Is she ready to have a friend sleep over or go to a friend's house overnight? Make sure your daughter's friends' parents are involved in their lives and that
your daughter will be safe and free to come home if she gets anxious. That will help her feel confident to try new things but to not be stuck doing more than she is really ready to handle.

This is completely normal for some children. She is probably maturing more rapidly then some of the girls but they will evenutally get there. I have two girls 21 and 16. They were the same and they are normal!

Have you ever read the book "The Five Love Languages for Children" by Gary Chapman (I think that's the author)? It may be that she has a different "love language" and that physical touch is just not it. There is an adult version of the book as well, but I think that if you read the children's version then one of the other love languages (basically the way that we give and receive love--there are five different ones) may stand out to you and make you say, "Hey--that sounds just like Sally!". It may give you some good ideas about how to interact and spend time with her in a way that will meet both your needs! :)

So sorry, I have boys and it get a twinge of hurt when they don't want to cuddle with me at times too!

Just keep being you as it sounds like you two have a great relationship and she will come to you when she needs it. (which will be a lot!)

I don't have any advice as my boys are 21 months and 4 months - so they still LOVE to cuddle. I just wanted to say that I am positive I will feel the same way you are feeling if either of them do that. Keep your chin up mama. It may be that she is coming into her own and doesn't need to "cuddle" anymore, but rest assured - you will be the first person she wants when she is sick, sad, lonely. It will just be a different relationship I think. It'll be more on her terms. Like I said, I have no experience with this with my own kids yet...I'm just thinking of how I was with my mom. HUGS TO YOU!!

I have a boy and at age 5 girls were YUCKY!!! I am a girl(obviously) so no more kissing good-bye at school, that's too gross, no hand holding except for crossing the street etc. I was upset for 2 seconds because that is part of him showing me he was becoming independant. He is 7 now still grossed out to kiss but when we watch tv and he is alone with me, my sweet boy still cuddles up with me or lays on my legs. Mind you if I pointed out to him what he ws doing he'd be off me in a hot second(LOL). Cheer up mommy it's part of growing up and establishing her independance. Bet you anything if she is sick or gets hurt or is sad the first person she thinks of to comfort her is......you!

It's so hard that the image we have of "fulfillment" as parents isn't borne out by reality. I hope you can also be happy for your little girl that she's so independent. If you were able to "make" her somehow more dependent on you, that would really not be healthy.

Don't let your daughter be your whole purpose in life. That would be fair to neither of you.

Kids are often mean or dismissive of their moms bcause they know that you will love them no matter what.
Try not to be too sensitive (at least do not show it to her). Try to have her come to you - plan fun things together!
I have 3 girls and I am very sensitive - sometimes you have to just let it go - they do need to learn that they have to be respectful and when they are just being awful you need to tell them - but you cannot make them responsible for every hurt you feel.
Hugs to you moma - it is not easy!i

I've known very few 7-8 year old's that were comfortable with 'holding mommy's hand' anymore. She's at the age where she is developing a sense of self, she's no longer just an extension of mommy. This will continue through to adulthood, as she matures, grows and becomes her own person.
Wait til she hits about 12-13....and for the next several years, when she doesn't even want to admit she has parents, much less be seen in public with them...LOL!

I'm sure that this is a hard transition, and I'm sure to feel the same way when my son no longer wants to cuddle with me. But on the lighter side of things, do you watch Modern Family on ABC? In the latest episode the mom was dealing with this exact situation and it was pretty funny how she ended up handling it. You should check it out at abc.com for a good laugh to make you feel better :)

My 7 yr old is the same way. I was torn to pieces when she just wanted to hang out with her friends rather than be with me. But it's a transition of her growing up. If only I could keep her little forever...I used to think. But sadly it just don't work that way.

Yes you're normal. I feel the same..It's hurtful.
As all the other moms have mentioned, it will only get more hurtful.
I think the idea is, to branch out make new friendships, hobbies, etc...
Otherwise, it is crushing.
Moms..When do most children stop holding their moms hands? I'm Not sure.
I put my arm around my son in front of some teenagers, and he took it
off his shoulder! I asked him, why? and he said.."C,mon Mom they're teenagers!" So, I guess we see them as our babies, and they are
growing up~speading their wings.
Yup, we gotta toughen up. Wah!~ LOL

All kids are different, and go through various spells. Just go with the flow. Don't push it, just do your best to be there when she needs/wants to hang out with you. My oldest three are 6, 7, and 10. My 7 year old was never cuddly. He will sit with me and we get along fine, but he won't hold my hand or give out hugs to anyone. He's content to play with his friends or alone more then hang around me. My 6 year old goes through days where she's all over me, and days I feel like I barely see her. She doesn't want to hold my hand either, unless she has to. But she does willingly hold my husband's hand. My 10 year old likes hanging out with his friends and me apparently equally - for now. He has no qualms about holding my hand, even though I tell him he's old enough that he doesn't have to, and tells me he loves me all the time and gives me hugs- even in front of his friends. So even in the same family, personalities can be very different. Don't worry about it, she will let you know she loves you in her own way. And when she wants to go hang out with friends, find something fun to do for yourself. With 4 kids (homeschooled), I revel in alone time.

oh no! say it ain't true! I intend on giving both my kids hugs and kisses forever! And keep calling my 1.5 year old son, Garret, "Gare Bear" for the rest of his life!. I'm sure he'll love that when he's 13! LOL