Settlement Conference

L.,
Don't worry about a thing. He was the one that left and decided to not have a relationship with his child.
I have no doubt you will retain full custody over your son, and get everything you deserve out of this,the ball is in your court, you filed first. Let him show up to this hearing I'd love to see what his excuse was for abandoning his wife and child and having no contace for a year, uh has he attempted pay child support? The judge will get him on that one as well.
Don't worry! I have no doubt that you will prevail in this. Good luck and keep us updated.
God Bless
~W.

Haven't been in the situation. But it sure sounds like desertion to me. Don't take my word for it, tho. Ask your lawyer.
He walked out on you and the baby. Poof! I would think that he walked out on his parental responsibilities too and won't have a lot of leverage.

Do not worry over the Settlement conference! At least you have a lawyer (and he does not)! Make sure to get as money (child support and spousal support) as you possibly can. It might not matter now, but in the future it might! I am still in a divorce battle over 4 kids (settlement conference did not happen because he was uncooperative during mediation); we are legally separated. Since I am a SAHM but have almost a master's degree the courts decided everything based on my "ability" to work (decision when we had kids to stay home and work very part time as a teacher was twisted by my ex).

Sounds like the dad does not want to be in his son's life, so take EVERYTHING you can get from him and hopefully some day down the road things will get better (I found a guy who loves my 4 boys - hasn't met them in person - but loves them and their mom unconditionally)! Good luck! Need anything - feel free to contact me on or off the list!!!

Hi L.;

I fortunately do not have the experience of this... However, I have had about three people close to me go thru divorces/ separations. My mom is one of them right now, actually.

Please, just something to keep in your mind throughout this whole process as I know it escaped my friends... FAITH, COURAGE and most important... STRENGTH.

You are going to NEED to keep all three of those things with you and in you at all times. Keep all of your friends and family close to you for support, just in case.

It is amazing to see how our partners can behave during these "battles".

I wish you the best of luck and it NEVER hurts to 'envision' the outcome that you wish to have before it happens. (sort of a try to make things happen your way thing...).

Keep strong for your little boy! You can do it and I am sure someone should be able to help you with the rest~

(I just didn't want to have you forget this part I saw some of my friends forget...)

Hi L.! I an actually a legal assistant and I have worked in this field for 10 years. There are a few things that can happen at this conference. 1) If your hubby doesn't show up the Judge could enter your final divorce papers as your lawyer has drawn up--then your hubby has 21 days to appeal them; 2) If he shows up--the Judge could order mediation or arbitration--depends on what the issues are that still need to be resolved; 3) Your hubby could show up and the Judge could order him to get an attorney and put the date off; 4) Your hubby could show up and the Judge could be totally frustrated with him since your divorce is now pending 9 months (most Judges want these cases off their dockets after 6 months) and the Judge could enter your final divorce papers. Your hubby still has 21 days to appeal the Judge's ruling. I wish you the best. Going through a divorce is tough and it is even tougher with you have children.

B.

I am sorry to hear you are going through this, especially with such a young child. It must be very emotional and difficult.

I practiced family law in Utah and can give some perspective on this issue, although your lawyer would certainly know more about how it works in Michigan. First of all, I think it is about 95% of family law cases that settle without trial and there is a reason for that - not only is the system set up to incentivize settlement like in all civil cases to prevent the judge from having to hold a trial and the parties from paying for a trial, but because the issues are so personal the judges especially do not like to be the ones making them. In Utah, you would first have a settlement conference with a domestic relations commissioner. This person will have heard your motions in the past (temporary orders, etc.) and will have spent less than an hour reviewing your file and anything submitted by your lawyer. They are preparing to spend an hour or less with you for the purpose of narrowing down the issues. In my experience, this works as a b.s. filter, meaning that if one of you is being stubborn or unrealistic in your settlement attempts, the commissioner is going to say so and be annoyed if the party continues to hold that position unrealistically. The only issues that will go to the judge (and maybe another pre trial conference with the judge) and then trial are those that the commissioner certifies really need the court's intervention.

So, in preparation, I would tell you to think carefully about what it is your are asking for both in terms of property settlement, child support, and alimony (if any). Your lawyer no doubt can help you with this, but remember that you really benefit from settling now. Whatever you have already paid your lawyer thus far to prepare your case and take it this far, it is about to double if they have to prepare for and attend trial. If you really think what you are fighting over is worth it, be prepared to explain why to the commissioner/judge - not just expect your lawyer to, because they may address you directly.

Good luck and hang in there. I wish the best for you and your son.