She Gave up the pacifier...for Her Thumb!

Updated on July 22, 2009
M.F. asks from Cypress, TX
14 answers

Okay moms! I need your help and fast! We gave IT up yesterday...IT = pacifier. For the last week at Day Care, her caregivers told me she was taking her nap without her "paci." I was shocked. And even more shocked when they told me yesterday that she hasn't used it to fall asleep in over a week now.
So, our goal was to let the "paci" go when she turned 2. That is in three weeks, so I figured I would just go with it. Now is the time.
She always asks for her "paci" in the car on our way home from work - it is about an hour long car ride. We sing, we snack, we talk, and she sucks her "paci" too. So, we get in the car yesterday and she asks for it. I look around for it and say, "Oh! It looks like we forgot it at Day Care!" 30 minutes of ear piercing, screaming, crying, huffing and puffing went on and just about pushed me over the edge. But, I stood my ground.
Last night it was time for bed. She asked for it again and I reminded her WE left it at Day Care! She fell asleep with out much crying, but then I noticed she started sucking her thumb!!!! I pulled it away from her mouth and massaged her little hand for awhile, but she was sucking it in the care this morning....
What should I do now? Please help!

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So What Happened?

Wow! Thanks for all the responses! I am very happy to report that I am standing firm and the paci is NO MORE! It didn't make sense to me to go back to it...and I didn't mention in my inital post that I myself was a thumb sucker...until about 12!!!! My parents tried it all. The bitter thumb, hot sauce, etc., etc., etc. So, you may understand why I was so hesitant on how to approach this new situation in our lives.
This is day # 3 without the paci and she even told me when we were going to sleep last night that Miss Tracey had her paci at Day Care, and then laughed! Wow! This was easier than I thought!
I have only seen her bring her fingers/thumb up to her mouth a few times, but I just remind her that her hands are dirty and we shouldn't do that. The main thing is keeping her occupied in the car! I am going to buy a few new books to put in the car for her to read and look at!
Again - thank you all for your reponses! I respect everyones' opinion.

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C.P.

answers from Houston on

I was a thumb sucker, too. My mother left me alone about it, but also said then when I lost my first tooth, that I would need to stop sucking it so that my new tooth could grow in straight, and I did, and it did, too, as well as all the other teeth.

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M.T.

answers from Austin on

give it back to her she isnt ready to let it go i have a little girl that is gonna be three in october and she uses hers to sleep and when she is feeling upset.if she was ready to let go she would not cry for it my son didnt let go till her was 2 1/2

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

What do you do???You do NOTHING. My adult daughter was a thumb sucker also and she quit when she decided it was time. If your daughter needs that little bit of security, then let her have it. I discussed the situation with my child's dentist and he said not to worry because she wasn't damaging her teeth. One thing you don't want to do is buy that "stop the thumb sucking" stuff that you paint her thumb with. I tried that and it effected her breathing. Just leave her alone, don't make a big deal of it and it will take care of itself.

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C.C.

answers from Beaumont on

It's more difficult for an active toddler to play if she has her thumb in her mouth, so I was happy when my kids found their thumbs. She'll give it up when she no longer needs that self-comfort, but having things to occupy her in the car sounds like a great idea! Good luck!

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K.K.

answers from Killeen on

So all of your advice so far is to just giver her back the pacifier...personally I disagree with this...

The problem remains that you can't just "forget" her thumb and daycare...lol (kudos to you for cleverness that the toddler can understand)

In order to get me to stop sucking my thumb (I was 9) we had to continually keep bandaids on my thumb. nothing else worked.

I would be very careful with this at her age though or let it go until she is a bit older, say 4ish...

good luck...;-)

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V.B.

answers from Houston on

Definitely don't give the paci back. I sucked my thumb into early elementary years (only when sleeping) and I don't have any dental issues because of it, so I really wouldn't worry about it. If that is what helps calm her, then let it be. I agree with one of the other posters that said she would rather see an older child thumb sucking than with a paci. You've done what you can do in getting rid of the paci. Let her suck her thumb...she will give it up eventually. If you see her sucking it when she isn't ready for nap or while playing or something, just ask her kindly to take it out of her mouth. Good luck.

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K.P.

answers from Houston on

I sucked my thumb until about 4-5 and then stopped. My teeth are fine. I think you shouldn't worry to much. I am proud of you getting rid of the pacifier.

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J.T.

answers from College Station on

Leave her alone. She obviously needs that oral stimulation. SHe will qit eventually. I personally would rather see an older child suck her thumb then a paci.

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K.O.

answers from Austin on

She is not ready to give it up yet, she needs and deserves the self-soothing. Studies show the sucking motion actually increase intelligence so let her have it until it doesn't cause the emotional trauma that it's causing.

K.N.

answers from Austin on

My daughter did this. Actually, she voluntarily gave up her binkie and immediately replaced it with her thumb. Unfortunately, I don't have a solution. Binkie fairy finally came after she stopped sucking on her thumb at all times except to sleep. Here are my thoughts:

1.) Honestly, I would have preferred that she continue with her pacifier instead of her thumb or fingers. At least the pacifier can be sanitized before it goes in her mouth and I could control when she got it. With her thumb, she is in control of when it goes in the mouth... dirty hands and all.

2.) I had to make peace with the realization that she is going to suck on something in order to get to sleep. Granted she is probably sucking on her thumb MUCH LESS than when she used a pacifier (because the thumb moves out of the mouth eventually while she is sleeping, although usually I move it if she has it in her mouth when I check on her). And she is no longer thumb sucking in the car when tired (that's progress!). However, yes I could buy thumbs guard to stop her from sucking her thumb... but if it isn't her binkie or thumb, then she would probably be sucking on her fingers, hair, blanket, lovey, etc. If she is determined to suck something, I absolutely do not want her developing the habit of sucking on clothes, bedding and hair! Decide what your poison is... Mothers who I work with all told me that their children eventually gave up thumb sucking. She won't do it forever.

Good luck.

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L.I.

answers from Austin on

Relax. It's okay. I think sometimes we worry too much about our kids. Some kids suck their thumbs, some don't. At least, I think, a thumb is not a piece of plastic. Babies suck their thumbs in the womb.

She'll grow out of it when she's ready. Don't put any emphasis on it and she'll relax too. Just accept that's part of her.

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M.F.

answers from San Antonio on

M., Your daughter is using the pacifer to soothe herself, and now that it is gone she is having to find something else to replace it. It might have been too soon for her to let it go. She is cognitively too immature to understand what is happening. She just wants to feel better in the moment. Our children used it until they were 3 despite criticism from "well-meaning" family and friends. They are now fine and their teeth are fine also. If you do not want to use it anymore, then give her something else like a teething ring to chew on. Otherwise, she will find something. Her sleeves might be next!

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

tell her that she is a big girl now and she dosent suck her thumb or paci any more. if she asks for her paci i would give her a blanket or a doll something that comforts her. if she is old enough to understand we left it at daycare she is old enough to understand we dont suck on thumbs. its a habbit that you have to break...just like nail bitting. good luck momma. there is also bitter thumb. you probly could dip her thumb in vinegar and it would do the same thing. * wow just read other mommas responces I agree with she is trying to comfort herself but dont agree that she needs a paci...our son had given his up around 4 months.

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T.E.

answers from Houston on

please remember that paci is a soother for young children. we had two kids in the family that would not even use a paci. one had to pick fuzz and would rub his nose with it--he's 9 now and he doesn't do that any more he grew out of it. another one would suck on her two middle fingers and wrap up with a blanket. She doesn't suck her fingers any more but she is 15 now and still lugs around her blanket to sleep overs--her friends laugh about it and just rolls with it. don't worry about her thumb and it will not warp her teeth, she is just trying to soother herself back to a comfortable place where she can deal with whatever comes her way!!

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