Shirt Sucking

Hi K.,

I have been having the same problem with my 6 year old. He seems to suck on his school uniform shirts and T-Shirts as well as 1 jacket that the sleeves are a little L.. I would like to hear feed back on this same issue. Good luck to you. Tami

Hello K.,

My son also sucks his shirt, to the point where it gets totally wet all around his neck. He is 4 and I find he does it when he is extremely engrossed in watching a show on TV or playing games on the computer.
He is a well rounded boy who is balanced and stable, I don't see any stress in his life and have put this behaviour down to his concentration.
Many times people label a behaviour , but that does not mean it is the cause . You would personally know if your child was stressed, as stress is hard to hide, it sonner or later emerges with emotion much more serious than sucking a shirt.
Maybe just monitor when he sucks his shirt and find if there is a a pattern.
My daughter also sucked her shirt when she was a similar age, but it did not last for long...

I notice that many peole have little things they do when they are concentrating. My brother used to stick his tounge out at the side, I tend to twist my hair, it is an activity that we are not aware of as we are so caught up in what ever we are doing...

A..

My son did this at a younger age (I think he was 6). He would make small holes in his shirts, ruining them. Talk to your son's teacher about helping with this habit. You son probably needs more sensory input -- he is probably not stressed emotionally but physically. Point out the problems with the shirts and give him some different options. Get him pencil grippers he can fiddle with or squeeze (get the squishy kind). Put some velco tape on a pencil to feel. Show him how to rub his pencil between his palms quickly, back and forth. Show him how to bounce his leg. Ask his teacher if he could have a stress ball, or if you could tape velco under his desk to rub his hands on. Ask his teacher to let him get up and sharpen his pencil, use the restroom, or do other gross motor activities during the day to let some steam off. (Can he pass out heavy books, for example?) Ideally, he could chew sugar free gum, but that may not be allowed under the school rules. If he's damaging his shirts, give him plain shirts to wear until he's kicked the habit for a week and some licensed character shirt for a reward/goal.

Hi my 9 year old son just started this and my 8 year old daughter just ended this. What we did is we told her living inside the fabric of her shirt was litte tiny bugs unseen and when she sucks on it she is getting those little unseen bugs in her mouth and inside her tummy, it scared her and she quit! Of course a friend of mine told her this and for some reason kids listen better to other people because with us they think were making it uop to get them to stop 9 whichj we are) so have a friend talk to him and see what happens ! Good luck

HI!

My son did this for about 6 months, he is 11. He actually CHEWED his shirt sleeves till they were RUINED! The MD told me it was the same thing... stress. I would just gently re-direct him when I saw him doing it...he didn't even realize it. Eventually it stopped. I am not sure what the "stress" was. Wierd huh?
T. M

My son has the same problem, but he is 6. I would love to hear someone else's opinion.

Hi K.!

Funny you brought this up! I have a 5th grader, and visited the school playground the other day just for fun. I was shocked and amazed how many boys sucked on their shirt! I mean there were about a dozen of them! My son doesn't do it, but he just started biting his nails.

I think boys just have this inner "boy" energy, like when they were toddlers, and they need to find a way to "act it out" without getting in trouble.

I'm sure the "shirt thing" will pass as he gets busier and more involved in life!

:o) N.

Hi K..

You didn't say if you are single or not, but my 11 year old has been doing this for the past few years since my divorce. He has anxiety issues due to life with his father and is just now letting go of some of his stress habits. He would also bite holes in his shirts and still sucks his thumb sometimes, but never in front of people. For the most part I just told him that we can't afford to replace those shirts and gently remind him if he does start putting one in his mouth. He's pretty much stopped now, but once in a while he'll do it again. Boys this age also have lots and lots of energy, so it could just be a way of getting that out. As a family, my two boys and I try walk, jog, play tennis, basketball, whatever we can do on a daily basis to work out some of that stress/energy. I think they will grow out of it, but in the meantime we'll hope they start caring about what their clothes look like!

My 4 year old son occasionally does this too (he used to do it all the time), but it's a habit, and as soon as my husband or I say "take your shirt out of your mouth", he does...

My son did this as well - at about the same age - he would also bite little holes in his shirt. He does have anxiety issues that we discovered a little later.
For us, nothing we did helped. I would get upset that he was ruining his shirts, and it was kind of gross. The shirt sucking passed on its own - in another couple of years, he started to be more self-conscious approaching those teen years - and he stopped on his own so as not to draw contempt or teasing from his peers. We are still working on his anxiety issues.

Hi.

I did that as a child. I had totally forgotten about it. I can't say I recall why, but it was probably stress. I was also a depressed child. I guess it was a comforting thing at first and then it probably became a habit. What I never knew was that other kids did that. That might have helped to know, because I knew it was a weird thing to do.

Anyway, I'm not saying your son is depressed, but he may have stresses of which he's not fully aware. Oftentimes, I still don't realize that something stresses me until it's gone. So, to make a long story short, if none of the tactics suggested here work, then he will outgrow it. I did - I don't remember my parents actively trying to stop the behavior.

Oh, one more thought. Is there another trusted adult in your family or circle of friends who might be able to chat with him? Sometimes, I was able to talk to my best friend's father about things that I didn't feel comfortable talking about with my parents.

Good luck!

Both the boys I nanny for go through phases of doing that. One of the kids is now at junior high and I haven't seen him do it since he started. Ya know... he's grown up now :)
I wouldn't worry too much about it. They won't be doing it in high school. With this age group you need to pick your battles - I would let this one go.

If he does this at home try gum-chewing to see if it's really an energy-sensory thing. If so then brainstorm with him and try (at home) a few of the suggested things from one of your earlier respondents. The book The Out Of Sync Child and The Out Of Sync Child Has Fun are good resources for ways he can get sensory input quietly and in a non-destructive manner in class. Maybe one of those squishy "stress balls" is all he needs. With the toy and gum restrictions in school you're going to have to get creative... good luck!

Hello,

My son does this as well and I have just tried to ignore it. I hate labeling and figure it will go away on it's own when he finds something else to do like bouncing his leg (which will be just as annoying but it will be something new!). Just remember boys have lots of ENERGY and they find lots of ways to let it out.

Good Luck, D.

Hi, K.;
My son, now 17, did that, too. (Don't worry, he has long since stopped!) It could likely be a mixture of stress and boredom, but with our son, we didn't want him to do it as it kind of cut himself off of communicating with others, which sort of would add to the stress and boredom....so we just calmly (most of the time) made him go change his shirt every time we saw him do it. He got sick of having to go do that, and eventually stopped. There was no big giant single secret problem that was haunting him, by the way. He has just been a late-bloomer in many respects. :) J.

Dear K.,

My sister takes care of a girl while her mom attends a meeting. The girl is in the 4th grade and was sucking on her shirt. She did not pay any attention to the behavior and the girl finally said ,excuse me, and stopped. She did not say anything to her about it. They just went on with something else.

My sister works with younger children as a profession and she felt it was an attention getter. So when my sister did not give her attentiion about the behavior of shirt sucking , the girl apologized and stopped and she engageg her in other conversation.

The sucking action is a comforting thing usually.

One of my sons had a behavioral habit of licking his lips until his mouth was chapped, then he would change to blinking his eyes for awhile. He finally grew out of it.

It is wise of you to talk with and ask him if anyone is bullying him or other things happening to him that he may be ashamed to tell you. Or afraid to tell you.

Pray that he will be open to you.

Eleven is a hard age to be. Do you remember it? It was an akward age. Those aged of kids just do the strangest thigs sometimes. I don't think they even know why.

Warmly, D. B.