Should I Choose Long Term Boyfriend or Long Term Desire?

Has he talked about moving out to UT to be with you?
There is no way that I'd uproot my child and my life to move to be with someone with whom I am not already in a serious, committed relationship. If the man is recently divorced, is he really looking for a serious relationship or is he having fun with someone who lives a safe distance from him? Do you remember why this guy is an ex? Have you seen him with your kids to know how he interacts with children, particularly your children? You can pursue this 'opportunity' to see where it goes without moving your entire life. The reality of this man might turn out to be a whole lot less appealing than the fantasy of him.

No matter what you choose, break up with your current boyfriend. If he's truly a great guy that you love, you know that he deserves to be with someone who loves him enough not to be longing for someone else. It's not fair to him when he can't compete with the memories of a man who swept you off your feet before kids, before careers, before rent/house payments, and before adult responsibilities.

Sounds like you already have a decision in mind.

Take the high road and tell your boyfriend. Nobody likes to be the back-up plan. :)

Some food for thought.

"a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"

"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence"

"To say I love you, one must first know how to say the I." Ayn Rand

Really? You'd move your kids & turn their lives upside down for your own personal "what if"? I think it's kind of selfish, honestly.

You have a great guy. You didn't end up with other guy for a reason. That fairy tale you're envisioning with this guy most likely doesn't exist.

And, why are you okay with moving there? Why doesn't he come to you? I would say "maybe" if you lived in the same town & could do the normal courtship thing & really get to know each other.

on the one hand - you are exes for a reason. go back and revisit that. why did you break up? This great guy here doesn't deserve to have that happen to him and especially if you have kids. That would be too much change and upheaval for kids.

on the other hand - I am currently married to a man I was on again off again with for 12 years before we finally decided to settle down together.

Two issues here to me. One 'what to do about the 'desired one' and two time to have a long look at your relationship with your boyfriend and why are you still with him?
How did you feel about your boyfriend in the first year? were you crazy in love and had a great sex life? or have you fallen in love over time because you think he is a really great person and (this is a big one) he is nice/accepting/wonderful with your kids?
Your lusting after the image you have of the 'desired one' when you really don't know who he is or what he is about as an adult. Absolutely do not uproot four lives on a fantasy. If he is really into you then break up with your boyfriend, keep then phone calls, texts, Emails, skype etc going and plan a few visits to CA. We all want love and passion in our lives and I totally understand lusting after someone who you have mental and physical chemistry with for years. BUT that's how you feel and you really don't know how he feels about you and as much as it sucks he may not feel that way about you. Then where are you? $15,000+ out of pocket and a massive upheaval.
Book a weekend trip to CA and test the waters yourself.

2nd issue: what are you not getting out of your relationship with your boyfriend that you need from a long term relationship and hence why your so willing to chase after it by moving across the country to a bunch of unknowns? Maybe all this is also a sign it's time to let him go and look for the spark with someone else for your sake and his.
My granny told me 'never settle for a warm cup of tea' ;-)
Good luck making your decision(s)

How did he respond to your joke? Really think about that...did he nervously laugh? Was it a yeah right? Or was it met with interest? Did he say "Or maybe I should move back here". IF he didn't respond with the last I would think he is happy with the way things are.

Are you still in contact with this person? Does he have kids? Do you think he wants yours?

IF you are still in contact be honest with him about your feelings. If he shares them YAY! If not well then you know! You have been lusting over him...do you really think he has been lusting over you for these years?

Put yourself in your BF's shoes! How would you feel if your BF was having these thoughts and feelings about someone else? If you would dump his butt for them, then you really need to BOW OUT! Is your great guy and great life really that unhappy to risk a maybe and maybe single life for many years to come? If you did uproot would you wonder about your current BF? Would you lust after the life you gave up?

You need to figure YOU! You need to know what you really want! I would look into a couple counseling sessions...is commitment an issue? Or are you just in love with the fantasy of a boy who is now a man? I LOVE some movie stars! I have a little fantasy of who they are in my mind! Is it anywhere accurate? Probably NOT! IF I ever had the chance to jump on them would I? Nope! My DH has seen me through the worst, heard and smelt my farts, knows I poop, watched me give birth, held me when I cried for no reason, and well loves me through all my faults. Sure Jason Stratham could buy me a nanny, and do some really great moves if you KWIM! And the voice OMG the voice!! But would I ever really want to fart around him? ;) Things to think about!

Also you never dated but were good friends? Sure he had GFs If he wanted to date you at anytime could have dumped them to be with you....and he didn't!