S.
i can relate, my husband has two brothers (half brothers) whom i have never met and have never shown much of an interest or care in getting to know me. they did not respond to our wedding, wives did not attend or respond to shower invites, engagement party invites, never sent a gift. when we found out we were pregnant with our son, my very excited husband sent out the ultra sound annoucning it was a boy and again no response. the one brother has made attempts...but we're usually the first to extend any news, correspondance, etc. they live in minnesota and wisconsin we are in chicago.
after our son's birth my husband's brother in minnesota and his wife did send a gift but did not attend the christening regardless of the invite and the fact that they were in town visitin our other brother in-law.
my whole point to this is that i initially from wedding to baby (and still on occasion) became upset by this. i did not understand why his siblings were so cold and self involved. then i realized as time has passed that i am doing the right thing by reaching out and they are the ones losing out in the situation.
you have every right to be upset and expect more, but some people are just down right selfish and self involved. i would not take it personally, do your best to keep the waves of communication open and continue to tell yourself it's their loss. surround yourself with people who will be there for you and your family, who love your boys and make them their "aunts and uncles". friends can sometimes be better than family in these cases.
if you're parents are still alive, i would also suggest doing what my husband did...tell mom and dad and get everyone talking. it didn't help, but it helped him to not be so hurt!
hope that helps and happy holidays
meg