A bit of background:
My daughter is 3.5 years old. When she watches TV she prefers to watch educational shows like Sesame Street and Leap Frog shows or shows like Barney with sing-alongs. She also watches Daniel Tiger. She doesn't like to watch shows other kids her age watch, because she gets scared. She gets scared if there is even a little bit of conflict in the show (even if it gets resolved by the end of the show).
Going back to the question, in Sunday school, the kids are shown a short animated film for kids about whatever story they'll be discussing (they're about 5 minutes long). The kids who watch these are 3 years to 5th grade. She tells me afterwards that she was scared (to the point of tears) so one of her teachers had to hold her. This happens every week. But when I ask her if she's okay before she goes to bed, she says she's fine. Should I let her watch these animated films or should I pull her out?
Well, if it were me I'd not make my child sit through something that scared her to the point of tears.
Yes. If you have the time and are able to be with your child, I would pull her out. There is no reason for a 3 year old to sit through it unless you need them to babysit and have no other option.
I know of several family who have switched preschools because the religion was taught in a way that cause a great deal of fear. Other families had no issue with the same school. Do what is right for your family.
Sesame Street and Barney are perfectly age appropriate for 3 to 4 year old's.
Not sure why they are lumping the kids of so many different age levels together in Sunday School, and yeah, many Bible stories are downright terrifying.
I don't think I'd have my kid in a program like that. If they can't offer different lessons for different ages (which is what they always did at our church and any church I attended as a child) I would keep her with me during the service.
The last thing church should be is a place where a child feels afraid and unsafe :-(
I think it's surprising that the Sunday School is choosing 1 film to meet the needs of 5th graders (ages 10-11) and 3 preschoolers (ages 3-4) and expecting them to be okay with all those developmental stages, language levels, cognitive levels, etc.
If these are Bible stories, we have to remember there are some scary stories - Noah/flood, Daniel/lion's den, etc. If that's what she's watching, it could be too much for her. So I think you can pull her out, but I'd also discuss the teaching philosophy behind one film for this big age group. Do they split off into different classes to discuss at an age-appropriate level? Or is she part of discussions which are over her head and which cause anxiety.
Is it just a question of the teacher turning off the lights in the room? If she is getting scared about the POSSIBILITY of being scared, that's another issue. I'd discuss with the teacher and see how quickly your child bounces back, and whether it's something she might work through after 1-2 tries. But if it's anxiety-provoking all the time, then Sunday School is not going to be a positive experience for her and maybe she's just not ready. If it were me, I think I would sit in on one class and see how it goes, either with me holding my child or perhaps with me just observing from the doorway (unseen by my kid) so I know what's really going on and how severe it is. You'll be the best judge of her tolerance and stress level, I think.
I'd ask to see a couple of these videos, privately, with the teacher or children's ministry director (without your daughter present). Just explain that she feels scared by the content, and you want to know if perhaps you should have her be excused during the video time, or if she's perhaps being too sensitive, or maybe her fears should be respected and she just needs a little more time before she's ready for the class videos. You can also ask the teacher for ideas for occupying your daughter during the video time. Maybe one of the other teachers could take your daughter aside during the video, and they could do a little task like counting the coloring pages that will be distributed later, or setting out napkins for snack time, etc.
I agree with several others who noted that this is a pretty big age range for one video. I can't think of too many videos that would be appropriate for 3 year olds and 10 year olds.
Barney and Sesame Street are age appropriate. I would discuss with the Sunday school teachers about what they are showing, it seems like too much of an age gap in that group to go over all the bible stories.
It sounds like your child needs to be put in more positions where she does this. Truly. The more she sees it the less it will effect her. Real life isn't like the world she lives in.
Do you and hubby fight, words or more? Does she have a sibling that she fights with? A relative or friend? There can be too little or too much of this sort of thing and it's going to be hard on her in a year when she starts school. They watch videos. They have kids fighting. They have kids being rambunctious and crazy.
This is an extreme. Not completely normal for a kid her age.
You should talk to the Sunday School Education Director and find out what is in these videos and if they are really appropriate for your child. If they are not and the Sunday School doesn't change the videos, then I would find another church because she's going to associate Sunday School with fear if she's afraid every week. What a 10 yr old can handle is different than a 3 yr old. What kinds of shows do you mean when you say she doesn't watch shows kids her age watch? In preschool, everything should be pretty bland and mild, like Barney and Sesame Street and Pee and the Wide World (or whatever it's called).
I wouldn't have your child in the Sunday school class. Your daughter should not be pushed to do this. She is too young.
If she were 6 years old, I would have a different answer. But right now, let your daughter take the lead with what she is comfortable with.
3 years old to 5th grade is quite an age span! I would ask the SS teacher if they are okay with her sitting with them during the movie. Explain her fears and ask if it's a problem. If it's not, I would let it go and hope that she eventually warms up to them. If it is a problem then just bring her to SS 5 minutes late.
My kids get very scared with shows and movies and they are 6 and 8. They don't like to watch a lot of shows that other kids their age are allowed to watch. I don't worry about it. Frankly I'm glad because most of the shows they're scared of I don't want them watching anyway. ;)
