Sister Wives

Here in Utah it is more prominent than people think- there are entire communities of polygamist families. People are against it because it is Illegal unlike being gay. The family you see on TV is rare most of these families live on the fringes of society the other reason people are against it is because they manipulate the system- there is on "wife" and the rest are "single moms" which generally qualifies them for state aide they are living off the welfare system.

I think it's wrong simply because it is illegal. His family seems a little differnet in that the women have a say. Most of these families are run by the man and the women are their to serve his needs. They don't have a voice. I saw a program on children of polygamists who ran away because they didn't want that lifestyle. They were shunned from the families and couldn't contact anyone from the family. I don't think living this lifestyle is a choice.

I don't believe most woman in these relationships are not "forced." Psychologically, I think many are. They are indoctrinated from a very young age, that you must live this way. Hell to pay, of they don't. Eternal consequences. Many are also taught woman have very little worth, other them being being in these relationships. Polygamy is illegal. Being in a gay relationship, is not. When people blatantly break the law, and children are in their home...there is a problem.

I think it's rare in comparison to the rest of the American population, but I also think it's more common, then we might realize. I know a family, whose parents were murdered by a Mormon sect. (By the Lebaron family sect.) Polygamy was a huge part of their existence. It was not easy to leave. They still have family trapped. Obviously, these woman you speak of, are not part of some crazy group. They are not being held by a crazy. However, they might feel there are eternal ramifications for NOT being in a polygamist marriage. Woman are often told they can't get into heaven, unless they are a wife in these marriages. They use threats and scare tactics when they grow up. That sounds forced to me.

LOVE the show. I personally am not interested in having a plural marriage. How awkward and jealousy creating! Just as I don't want my hubby to cheat on me. Nor do I want to cheat on him.
However, I also don't want to be gay, or to get into S&M. However, whatever floats your boat. As long as you are not abusive to children, and do not exploit them or coerce.
In terms of the whole belief they have that this type of marriage will get them into Heaven. There are a ton of Catholic beliefs regarding sin and Heaven and Hell and so forth. Just because someone else has a belief weird to you, does not mean it is definitively weird and awful.
I know all about religious persecution being involved in a minority religion myself, that has been criticized.
But that too is another topic...
I think legalizing polygamy will take it out of secrecy and shadows and help avoid horrible abuses like exploitation, uneducated minors and so on.

Many.

But I spend time in Islamic countries, and I very nearly married (legally, diplomatic status) into a polygamous family.

Here in the states: I know a few christian plural families (most hide the same way that smokers in our area hide, or gay/lesbian families used to hide; to keep their kids and themselves from being shunned and attacked... I've only ever "met" them on accident. Usually via a playdate when my son was little, because we talked about all the different kinds of families / they caught on really quickly that I don't give a rip &/or am all for committed relationships regardless of the way that the adults want to structure them. AKA we became a "safe" place for the kids to play & not have to watch their wording & any mom could come and hang out or drop off/pick up), and A LOT of non-married multiparent families (whether they consider themselves to be poly or not is up for grabs), and even more "open marriages"... where the extra people are NOT part of the family.

My feeling is this: Love is precious... and should be protected and cherished... however you happen to find it.

In my experience plural marriage is JUST like 2 person marriages; aka you find the abusive ones, you find the perfect ones, and you find the majority of them which are made of people who love each other despite all their problems.

I love that show too. I fact, it's on it about 45 minutes and I will be down there watching both episodes. I am intrigued because tonight it looks like some of the older kids are saying they don't want to be in that lifestyle.
I don't think it's normal, but I also don't see the harm in it. These women were not forced into anything. Ask any one of them. And, one of the wives has worked out of the home full time for a long time (the plus sized mama) while the first wife has held down various part time jobs. I swear, I am not interested at ALL in having plural wives in our marriage, but for some reason it does have a bit of appeal. Someone else to help watch/raise your kids, someone else to help cook, someone else to be your good friend. You all just happen to be sleeping with the same man...which in my book is an issue and in their book it's not.
Why is polygamy illegal? Is it to protect the woman? Being gay and tying to get married used to be illegal as was people of different races getting married. I think that as long as everyone is happy and responsible that they are fine to do whatever they want. The mamas look like great mothers who love their children.
Do I know anyone in a polygamist marriage? Nope, but I DO know people that cheat on their wives and husbands and their partner just turns a blind eye. Isn't that kind of the same thing?
L.

I actually thought last nights show as interesting. I'm curious how the kids feel about how they have grown up, after all that is what is behind the investigation. The one teen daughter wants to grow up and live this life, have sister wives, AND wait till her wedding day to kiss a boy (man). The other isn't so sure she wants the drama and jealousy that does exist, even when you are making the choice to share your spouse. My favorite was the son though, who wants to go off to school and figure it all out later when he is done with college and it actually matters.

All seems pretty normal to me. none of them are sitting there saying that this life has messed them up for eternity (no more so than ANY other teenager says that very thing).

He is not legally married to anyone but the first wife, so is it really any different than a couple who has an open marriage?

ive watched it too and im for the free country do as you like way of thinking. If they choose to live that way it surely isn't hurting me so I think they should be able to. I feel that way with any partnership though. I personally could never do that. Im territorial I guess you could say and no one other than me is touching my husband! I don't think they are a cult and like you said they are all comfy so leave them alone. I think 4 separate houses is sad and I feel bad for them.

The Supreme court has decided the Ammendment says Freedom FROM Religion, not Freedom of Religion.

If it was really Freedom Of Religion, then what these people are doing would fall under their religions beliefs and the laws against it would be declared unconstitutional.

But that is for another post.

Good luck to you and yours.

These certainly aren't the child-bride, prairie dress wearing, long hair in a bun polygamists.
Personally, my thoughts are if they are all cool with it--who cares?
People vehemently opposed to polygamy suggest that many 2nd, 3rd, 4th sister wives and their broods have no recourse for health care but government aid welfare. As the husband cannot claim more than O. wife on his policy and to claim 15 children would be to "out" the entire family--something that polygamists try REALLY hard to avoid.

I see nothing wrong with the way they live. Or anyone else for that matter it's none of anyone's business. I do think there are more families like them just in hiding. I also think it's great that they are brave enough to show the world their lives. As far as if its illegal it's my understanding that Kody is only legally married to his first wife not the others. And for being "normal" whose to say what's normal and what's not right? They might think single marriages are weird! And yes I enjoy the show as well :)

I love the show, i dont see anything wrong with it because they even said he is only LEGALLY married to the first wife the others had weddings and such but nothing LEGAL so there shouldnt be any investagation i say they are all adults and what they want to do is their biss, if their kids are taken care of and they arent doing anything illegal then so be it.

I like the show too. But plural marraige has to be illegal because of the Warren Jeff's out there. I think the law has chosen to 'ignore' this family because they are not abusing children or taking child brides. That is just fine with me. I think it should remain illegal, and if the law see's that a family is doing no wrong, they should use a 'don't ask, don't tell' approach and focus on the wackos like Warren Jeffs.

Hubby and I watched it a week ago (during a marathon) and then again last night. We are monogomous but talked about the concept and what we both thought was the good, bad and ugly with their type of lifestyle. For me, it's be having the sister wives, which are essentially (at least in their family) like sisters (duh!) which would be great for child rearing, watching the kids, etc. The biggest bad for me would be sharing my husband with another woman - sexually, emotionally, mentally. I could not deal with that. Hubby feels the same way. But he also added a bad for him would have having to deal with/try to keep four women happy! I thought that was funny.

I'm intrigued by that show as well. I sort of agree that they way everything is portrayed on that show is that they are all consenting and for the most part very happy. But I do wonder if that's "real". As others mentioned I wonder about their upbringing and how much of this is really as innocent as it seems. It's a fine line b/c as you mentioned Warren Jeffs and the like are out there and you can't really stop one and not the others, but I do see this as different, at least outwardly. I find it a bit sad they were forced apart but then again on the flip side, they knew this could happen by being so public with their relationships. I don't think it's probably very common and I don't know anyone in a plural marriage!

I don't know any families like this, so I assume its rare. I AM intrigued/curious about the whole dynamic of it (thanks to Big Love... I LOVE that show). I don't personally have a problem with any consenting adults doing what they want to do... I think the law needs to back off, but I also think that it would be a hard thing to figure out legally, once that lifestyle is "accepted". I feel similarly to gay couples (for goodness sakes... why should things be unfair to you because you were born gay- YES, people are BORN that way). I think they should definitely be able to have the same rights as married couples- BUT, call it a civil union because the direct definition of marriage is a union between a man and woman. Just my opinion... I know there are many out there, and I respect them all... (as long as children aren't involved...)

Would you feel the same if it was one woman with more than one husband?
Just asking.
I find most of these "Godly" men are just looking for "younger" and "more."
My husband and I have had many conversations about this as we are both huge fans of Big Love on HBO.
Sadly I think the reality of this lifestyle is exploitation of young girls/women in the name of God, and that is NOT the same as being gay. Gay people are not claiming their way is God's way.
So I guess if it's good for the goose it's good for the gander (wink, wink) I love my husband but I could always use another man (or two) around here! Another woman? No thanks :)