Sleeping in Own Bed - Salt Lake City,UT

Another recommendation for The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I haven't read all the other responses, so you may already have some great ideas, but you won't regret reading this book. You'll love her style!

I'm sorry, but in my opinion, kids need to cry sometimes. They need to learn that mom and dad won't be there every second of every day. How is he going to be able to get by on his own, or even at school in a few years, if he has never learned to comfort himself? You are setting him up for a life time of not being able to function as an adult. Let him cry is the only thing you can do. You'll never be able to talk him into sleeping in his bed...you've proved to him already that you will go to him and sleep with him, so that is what he will always expect.

Having your child sleep in your bed puts them in more danger of SIDS. Crying it out is really hard, but really one of the only ways to train them to sleep on their own. Sure hope it gets better, and you can sleep.

We have a routine that we have done since our kids were very little, and it may help keep your little guy from waking so much. About 30 minutes before our kids need to be in bed, my husband, 2 kids and I pile up in "Mom and Dad's" bed. We talk about the day together, tell jokes, sing songs, tell stories, get our kids to spell words or do easy math problems. Sometimes we watch "How It's Made." Our kids love it, and it is our winding down time. They know that when I say, "Ok, bedtime" it's time for them to give Dad hugs and kisses, and they are ready to be tucked into their own beds. They don't argue about it, they just do what they are supposed to, and always have when it comes to this. They rarely wake up unless one has to go potty in the middle of the night. They look forward to our special family time every night. My thought is that if you spend that extra 30 minutes together winding down as a family, your little one is less likely to feel like he needs to wake up and get your attention during the night. It may satisfy him enough before bedtime. Since he slept with you and your husband for 2 years, he may need that little bit of comfort in your bed before you tuck him into his. You will probably have to explain to him that after "family time" is over he has to stay in his own bed. If you need to, you can tell him that if he gets out of bed he won't be able to have "family time" in your bed the next night. Our kids love it so much that they wouldn't do anything to not be able to hang out in our bed the next night. It's a good bargaining chip.

Isn't co-sleeping the best! and the worst! :) When we transitioned our older son (around the same age, 2, 2 1/2) we moved him to a regular twin bed which is easier for us to cuddle with him. Also for a while we used another mattress on the floor next to his bed so daddy could sleep nearby but little boy was still in his own bed.

It will end! and my boy sleeps great now. After baby #2 he did want us to cuddle him to sleep for a little. . . but instead of waiting till he falls asleep or falling asleep yourself we said. . "I can cuddle for 2 min. or 5 min then I have some work to do downstairs" I think it helps to know where you are going to be. Or if possible do paperwork or read in the room next to his or in the hall so he feels your presence.

p.s. people have be "co-sleeping" for thousands of years. . . don't let anyone guilt you out of your instincts

When we moved my son to a big boy bed he would wake and want to sleep with us. We put a toddler bed in our room, when he got up at night he knew he could come lie down there, as long as he didn't wake us. When we got up in the morning he would usually be there, but we were still able to get our sleep.

We let our daughter sleep with a bedside lamp on, she used to have night terrors, until her baby brother was born. Then we struggled with getting her to sleep without it. What we ended up doing was getting her some glow in the dark stars and making a big deal about how special they were.

Maybe something like that would work for him. Perhaps let him pick out something special, like a blanket with his favorite character on it or a pillow or something.

When we transitioned her into her toddler bed, we didn't lay with her but we set up a fun routine of songs and a story. Whenever she got out of bed after the routine was done we'd just put her back in it. No games, no songs, and no exceptions. I used to sit just outside her bedroom door, where she couldn't see me, and I'd listen for when she got up. Then I'd make her get back into bed.

When my husband and I went to bed, we put a baby gate in her door so she had to stay in her room. We found her in some funny places in the morning, like under the bed or in her toy box sound asleep, but she learned to stay in bed after a while.

My daughter was not co sleeping, but use to a late bedtime of like 10 or 10:30. This past week we decided to move her to a earlier bedtime, 8:00. Having done research the best way for us was to do a routine before bedtime and let her know that bedtime was in such and such a time. So we changed from doing a bath every other night to every night... and her routine became dinner, half hour of play, bath time, reading 2 books, saying prayers and going to bed. Her first night she went to bed very well... but woke up about an hour later. (this does go to the crying mode but it works), She got out of bed and was knocking on the door to be let out... so I went and opened the door and picked her up and said it is time for bed, gave her a kiss and put her back in bed. This time when I left, I left the door open a crack so that she could come out if she needed me. She came out about 4-5 more times... each time she would cry because she was back in bed... but once she was on the floor and coming to see me, she would stop. So if nothing else works... Try this. My daughter had been on this schedule for 5 days now and she has adjusted very well. Make the routine a stick with it no matter what! Just be strong and it doesn't take that long and it will work out. If they wake up in the middle of the night... she did this the first night. Do the same thing. She hasn't done it since, since she knows that I am not going to stay there... and I'm not letter her stay up. She has to go to be... Hope this helps and best of luck.

We had the same problem with our daughter when she was that age. We just kept explaining to her in simple terms that we must all sleep in our own bed, just like her friends do because she is now a big girl. We would read a few stories to her at night, reinforce the idea that she was a big girl and needed to stay in her bed and that was it. She would cry for a few minutes but would calm down. If we went in again, it would just make it worse. We also had a video monitor and would know if she got out of bed. If she did, we would just yell out from our room that she had to get back into bed. It worked for us. She's almost 4 now and sleeps in her bed every night without any problems. Hang in there & good luck!

I recommend The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and PReschoolers by Elizabeth Pantley.
I just read this and there is lots of great info and suggestions!
H.
www.naturalchoices4baby.com

I was in thixs same position. I became pregnant with my second baby ust before my daughter turned 2. We transitioned her to a big girl bed right around the age of 2. I did the same thing and over the past year we went through times when she slept great through the night and times when she has woken up screaming for mommy or daddy.
One thing to keep in mind is that he will go through stages. Just keep with it. Keep going in and reassuring him, lay down with him, whatever you want to do, but leave back to your own bed if you can or at least most of the time. SOmetimes this is not possible as you or your husband are too tired and just want to sleep. Follow your instincts. You know your son best. The other thing is there is a book called the No Cry Sleep Solution, but Elizabeth Pantley. She has a version for toddlers. I have not read the toddler versino, just the infant one, but I can vouch for that one. It is a longer process, but she is very sensitive to the baby or child's point of veiw. Maybe you should give it a try. Also, keep in mind that fact you are pregnant and your little one is two will play into his sleeping habits. He may cry out even more, due to nightmares, wanting attention, etc. Try and be patient and sensitive to his feelings. I, like you, am not comfortable with letting them completely cry it it out. We tried that with the first one a few times, one in which she cried for over three hours. It was horrible and I will never do it again! He will eventually sleep through the night on his own. It may take some time, but he will. Our little girl, who just turned, three has finally turned the corner. We also tried using a chart and a reward method. You may want to think about. Kids respoind to immediate satisfaction. Good luck to you. I know how hard this can be. You may even want to think about having your husband sleep with him for a few nights so you can get some much needed rest.

Been there! I have never had any qualms about my kids sleeping with me because I figure that it doesn't take long for them to grow out of anything...like wanting to snuggle Mommy! When my second child was born and my first was used to being snuggled to sleep, I would sit in a rocker at the side of his bed and let him snuggle my foot (at least it was part of Mommy) while we read and until he fell asleep. He also had a stuffed lovey from about age 18 mo. The same system worked when my third was born, because by then my oldest was totally fine on his own. At this point, my older two lay in their beds while I read to them and sometimes one of them sits on my lap while I read the book that one chose. Then it's the other's turn and they don't fight me to get into bed. For us, it has turned out to be about making sure that everyone gets a fair share of individual attention from me both during the day/evening and at bedtime. It's a struggle, but I have found it to be so worth it!

We have a two year old as well and have been working with her on the sleep thing. She started waking up in the middle of the night and because I was there rocking her when she fell asleep, she needed me (or my husband) to help her fall back to sleep. We did two things. We started a reward system, so if she went to bed without crying she would get a treat. Now, if she stays in bed all night she gets a treat. We tell her while we are reading her stories that in a few minutes we are going to put her in her bed and cover her with her new comfy blanket (the new blanket helped- she picked it out) and say "night night" and "I love you" and then no crying. The preparation helped her a lot. We did have to let her cry for a few nights but now she goes into her bed and we can leave without her being asleep.

The current treat is for every night she sleeps all night, she gets to add a bead to her string. I bought the big colorful wooden ones and have hung a string on her doorknob.

Good luck!

There is nothing wrong with co sleeping with babies, I think it is a great bonding experience.

However you said you have to lay with him, well, no you don't.
You need to set it up to make a decision if you want him to sleep all night to do it over a weekend where you don't have to worry about being tired the next day and just put him back in his bed with a kiss, no talking, just be firm and hold your ground. Repetition of you doing this and not laying with him, he will eventually stay put and sleep all night.

Do a reward chart for every night he stays put. Make a HUGE deal out of it and praise him for being a big boy. Just do not lay with him as that is another habit, he wakes up and you aren't there and the cycle repeats itself.

To break bad habits, you have to just set yourself up for crying and fits and be prepared, mostly stand firm!
With a new baby on the way if you don't get this nipped now you will be really tired and it will be even harder later :) Kids cry, especially when they do not get their way. It isn't mean at all at his age. It isn't! You just have to suck it up a few nights then you will set him up for a good habit.

Teaching a child to sleep in their own bed, giving the independence that is so essential to their confidence is a gift. Babying him isn't helping him at all. You aren't being mean but parents need their bed back, you need rest, kids need to not to have sleep disrupted either. Him getting up several times isn't good for him as it isn't allowing him to get a deep sleep either.

Hang in there, do it over a weekend, you and your husband stand united and it will be better soon. Promise.

How about the sleep fairy? You come in if he's asleep at whatever time you desire (after he usually gets up) and leave him a treat if you haven't had to come in and lay with him to get him to go to sleep.

Since crying out is not an option, my advice to you is as soon as he comes to your room, you take him back to his room. Do not lay down with him but instead rub his back and tell him to go back to sleep. Basically, he misses company and needs to learn to sleep by himself. Reassure him that you love him. Does he have a snuggy or toy that he has bonded with. My little one was very attached to a stuffed dog that she had to sleep with when she was little.

Thank you for putting this question out there. I am in a very similar position with my almost 2 year old. I am really interested in what people have to say about this. Good luck and if I find anything that helps then I will post another message.