Sleeping Thru the Night - Naperville,IL

Read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. Follow what he says. You'll be fine.

and your doctors job is to make a sick child healthy...few, very few 4 month olds sleep 10 hours straight at night ESPECIALLY if you are nursing. Kids also start to teeth and wake frequently in pain and want to nurse frequently as that is a natural pain reliever. I suggest finding a new pediatrician as his statement is a bit on the insane side. Your 4 month old waking twice a night is FANTASTIC and i would have been thrilled if that was all my daughter woke up. Please do some research on infant sleep. Dr. Sears website has some great info. It is actually dangerous for a little baby to get into that deep of a sleep. Has your doctor heard of SIDS???

you also have to understand that people are going to bash your doctor because she gave you the absolutley wrong advice. of coursea 4 month old is capable of sleeping 10 hours, so what? that doesnt meant that is the norm, nor what the baby should be doing. To tell that to you implied that you were doing something wrong as your child was not sleeping through the night, and now you are looking for ways to get your child to sleep longer which means you are going to get all the "cry it out" advice. Not something you should be doing to a child , especially this young, and especially when teething is soon going to begin. What kind of message is that to send to a new mom ? Sorry but its completely irresponsible for her to have suggested it.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

Dawn's way is what worked for us too, but only after they were already sleeping through the night and just going through a bad stage we needed to stop. I would slowly decrease his feedings (1 oz less each night if you are bottle feeding, or 1-2 minutes less nursing each night). This slowly allows their stomach to get used to not eating at these times which is now habit. If he starts crying when you put him back in his bed, then do what Dawn suggested. My kids never really noticed the difference of just a little less, and we didn't have too much crying. I would pick the time he wakes up that you dred the most, and work on that one first. After that one is gone, work on the second feeding.

And yes, kids can sleep 10 hours at 4 months, but not all do. My oldest slept 12 hours at 3 months on a mixture of formula and breastmilk; my 3rd was exclusively breastfed and slept 10 hours at 4 months. Depends on you, the child, and how both of you handle it.

I'm sorry, but your Dr. is crazy! I have NEVER in my entire life heard of a Dr. saying a 4 month old should be sleeping 10 hours STRAIGHT!!! That is totally unrealistic in every way. Getting up twice at 4 months is very good and totally normal. Don't worry about it.

I think you've gotten a lot of suggestions. I will say that there is a big difference between physically being able to sleep through the night vs. being emotionally ready to. Sleeping through the night can be like potty training. When babies are ready both physically and emotionally, they'll do it. I approached both my kids the same way (exclusively nursed, put them to bed drowsy but awake) but they both ended up being very different sleepers. My daughter slept through the night at 8 weeks, which I realize now is a huge blessing and a big anomaly. My son is currently 16 months and will still get up once or twice, depending on growth spurts, teething, etc. So while all children may be physically able to go w/o food for 10 hours, that doesn't mean that they are developmentally ready. Just my two cents.

Hi KC

Congratulations on your little guy!

Babies are different - it's entirely possible that at 4 months he's a little young for that, and needs to eat. I weaned my son from night feedings at around 9 months and he would go 11 hours straight. (It's up and down though, as I'm sure most moms would agree with - we hit bumps in the road due to travel, teething, colds, etc, and then we have to wean him again. ;))

My main suggestion for you would be to ensure that he is able to put himself to sleep at bedtime and at naps - in other words, put him down drowsy but awake, so that IF he wakes up in the night and ISN'T hungry, he'll just soothe himself back to sleep. At 4 months I'd give him the benefit of the doubt that he is actually hungry and go in to him. But just feed him, no cuddles, extra attention. At 3 months they say babies have the ability to self-soothe, but that doesn't mean their little tummies stay fuller for longer.

Then when he is older and bigger, you can wean him. Dr Weissbluth (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child) recommends around 9 months. Up till then he says 1-2 night feedings are totally appropriate. He's actually based in Chicago, if you were ever interested in seeing if you could get an appt.

The way we did it was more gradual rather than just CIO. My husband would go in and give him some expressed milk, but only a few oz. The next night, he'd go in and give him less. By the 3rd night he just gave him water, and then after that my son didn't wake up at all (or at least, he didn't cry for us.)

Having said that, now at 14 months, that method doesn't work so well. We hit a bump in the road due to some solo int'l travel a couple of months back and I had to sleep with the baby, and it was just easier to nurse him when we'd wake each other up. He got used to the nice comfort and attention and is being more stubborn when my husband goes in. SO we may have to go the extreme CIO method - which is so so hard to listen to, but at 14 months I'm confident he can handle it. It's more me I'm worried about!

P.S. My ped said I could try CIO at 2 months with my son. She's a great ped in many other respects, but as some moms pointed out, the doctor is not an expert on EVERYTHING baby-care-related. They are trained for sickness and medical issues. And they have opinions about the rest, like sleep, or behavior. That is why I rather trusted the author I suggested above, because, while he is a ped, he is a national expert on child sleep and it's his speciality and area of research.

All the best to you.

Some kids wake up to eat once or twice a night until they're 18 months or so... it's just a part of parenthood. I personally let my daughter night nurse until she was around 8months, and at that point I'd try once a month to let her cry more at night to see if she'd go back to sleep. At 10 months during the monthly "cry it out" night, she fell back asleep and stopped waking at night after that. Most babies will still get up to eat at 4 months old.

Babywise worked for me, twice. Both girls were sleeping thru (that's 8 hours or so) by two months but I do believe every child is different. During the day, feed baby as soon as they wake up, then put them to bed still awake. This way they learn how to put themselves to sleep and eventually when they wake up at night you'll no longer have to get up because they go back to sleep without you knowing it. Make sure the temperature in their room is comfortable/cool and they're dressed appropriately. Use white noise, I use a humidifier. Also, when they do wake up at night, change them, feed them, burp them, then right back into bed. No cuddling, kissing, singing, rocking, etc. Save all that for during the day. Doing it at night encourages them to wake up and call for you again later, whether they really need you or not. Eventually they'll get the hang of it and you'll be good to go. Really though, don't let what your doctor said freak you out. I think that was an inappropriate thing to say. Babies CAN sleep thru the night at this age but to say that they SHOULD makes it sound like there's something wrong with a baby who doesn't....and there's not. Best of luck!

Sorry, but your doc is wrong. Some babies sleep through the night. Some don't. They have the capabaility to do it, but everyone is different. My son didn't till he was over 3 years old. I did nurse him, which was part of the reason. I have a friend with 4 kids and each one of them had different sleep styles. They're constantly growing, their eating habbits are changing, etc.

YOUR DOCTOR IS NUTS!

I don't know of many 4m/os who have EVER slept through the night. Night waking is an infants response AGAINST SIDS! Tell your doctor to sit down and shut up!

You can get him to sleep through the night when he no longer needs feedings at night, when he isn't, teething, sick, naturally when he is ready and over a year old. It is not uncommon nor is it unacceptable to have a baby waking a couple of times at night.

I am a mother of 4 and ALL of them woke up at night, are strong, healthy, happy children. They now ALL sleep 12 hours at night and 3 still take a 2 hour nap.

Ignore your doctors advice on this one. Or find a new pediatrician...

Than your doctor does not know what he/she is talking about! It is considered sleeping thru the night when a baby sleeps a 6 hr stretch. Do not cry it out it should not be started until 6 months of age. There is nothing wrong with getting up and feeding a hungry baby. I do not know many babies that sleep 10 hrs straight at 4 months you must be formula feeding so it may be a little different but breastfed babies its common for them to not sleep all night until sometimes a year or longer.

If you read the Weissbluth book and ANY book on baby sleep you will learn that babies are neurologically wired to not sleep through the night. Yes, maybe it is POSSIBLE and some kids do, but that doesn't mean YOUR baby will. And the answer isn't to leave them in there crying. At this age, you are their world, and if you don't respond to them they are going to feel some sense of abandonment or feel something is wrong with them because you aren't responding. Waking 2x at 4 months is wonderful, as many Moms here say. While your doctor may be a good doctor as far as treating illness in children, advice like this would make me doubt him/her having much practical experience with children or knowledge about daily care/issues. If he had read about sleep in babies he would know that neurologically they are most likely going to be waking at this age. They have shorter sleep cycles and when them come up for the light sleep stage they haven't learned as adults have how to drift back off. And to be supportive/encouraging to new Moms he should say, yes it is possible but it is uncommon and perhaps give you some suggestions or strategies that might help rather than just saying that he should be sleeping through the night, as another person said, somehow reinforcing to you that you are doing something wrong. Personally, I have learned a long time ago that pediatricians are not all knowing. I take their advice when it comes to illness/development but when it comes to sleep/nutrition and every day care, doing my own research and talking to other mothers has always yielded much more fruitful results. Do what you can to encourage sleep but don't feel that somehow things are not "right". Be thankful for the sleep he is giving you/getting because most kids at this age are NOT sleeping that much/long.

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I am sure you already got a ton of responses, but my ds didn't sleep through the night until 16 months when we did cry it out because I was so sleep deprived and pregnant again. Each baby is different and I am pretty sure at 4 months we were still up twice a night. I wouldn't worry too much about it- by college most kids sleep through the night right? I you are super exhausted and feel at your wits end you could try a sleep training method. Good luck

Your doctor is right, she can be sleeping for that type of stretch. My babies also took formula (both from birth, weened off the breast at 3 months), and where sleeping from 8 until 530 or 6 from 2 months on. Here is how I did it. First I taught them to go to sleep on their own. I used a modified CIO almost from birth, so it was all very easy since they had never learned bad habits. At 4 months it is still early so it should not take too long to sleep train your baby. I would put them to bed, awake, at the same time every night. If they cried, I would wait 5 minutes to go in and comfort. If, after 5, they were still fussing, I would go in and comfort, but with out feeding or even picking them up if possible. I would simply rub their tummy and sing or talk softly. Once they were calm I would leave, and if they started to cry again I would put another 5 minutes on the timer, and repeat. I never had to go in more than once. Once they had that down I applied the same to night wakings. If they woke up crying, I would wait 5 minutes before going in, they almost always self soothed before that 5 was up. If not, than I would go in and comfort, once again without food or removing them from the crib, they had to understand it was still night time. Once calm, I would leave, and if they started fussing I would wait another 5. It worked like a charm, because going in every 5 minutes showed them I was there and I cared, while reinforcing that they still needed to be sleeping. It may take a few nights since you child is used to a couple of night feedings each night, but he will get it. Just start by cutting out one feeding this way, and than when that one is gone, go after the last one, and best of luck.

Blessed Be.

PS
People said my doctor was wrong or crazy for telling me that the only reason most children wake at night to eat after the first month is because we train them too. I listened to that, and all of my kids slept through the night by around 2 months, with no trouble, because rather than train them to wake and eat, I let them do what comes naturally to us all at night, sleep! I have had some woman on here go so far as to say I damaged my children by allowing them to sleep at night rather than eat, but I have 2 of the smartest, healthiest, happiest boys I have ever seen, and have had several moms tell me how jealous they are of my boys wonderful sleep habits.

I agree that the doctor's expectations are a bit outdated. There was a time when it was thought that babies should be sleeping thru the night at 4 mos, but it is generally thought that 6 mos is more realistic. If you want a great resource on sleep, check out Dr. Marc Weissbluth's book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." It is great!

Your doc is wrong, SOME babies sleep through 10 hours at that age, but in my experience that is VERY FEW, and the lucky moms, LOL! Especially if you are nursing, your baby will wake more often to feed than a formula fed baby, not that I am suggesting to switch. Mine nursed till 9 months, and they were both still waking once a night about 2 am to nurse one time, at 9 months, and more times before that - I would say at 4 months, it was more like waing 3-4 times in a 10 hour stretch. Once we switched to formula they slept through, but we aslo did Cry It out at that time in the crib, so both things had to do with sleeping longer.

Check out the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth - you should be able to find it or interlibrary lon it through your local library. It tells you about average and non-average sleep habits of kids at all different ages, and gives tips and strategies to have them most well-rested child ( and mom) you can have. It was a huge help to me.

The only way we got our kids to sleep all the way through was to use "extinction" which is Cry It Out - we just decided they were big enough and one night we just said " It is bed time, I will see you in the morning, kisses I love you!", and put them down in the crib and closed the door, and didn't go back in, not matter how long they cried, basically - it was hard, but we had tried the go in and reassure them thing andshe just go towrse, cried longer, cause she had hope you would come back. My daughter cried 45 minutes the first night, 20 minutes the second, 10 the third, and none on the 4th night, or ever after. From the first night onward, she slept all the way through the night ( she was 9 month old, but they say you can do this as early as 5 months) and woke up happily in the morning, and would just sit in her crib and talk/play with her stuffed toys and soft books, for up to an hour before fussing to be gotten out.

Enjoy the time when they are little, even the middle of the night feedings, pretty soon, it is all over, and you find you miss those snuggly times!

Also, make sure your baby's bedroom is dark (we use blinds and lined curtains}, not too hot or too cold, and maybe put on a CD of music, or white noise to cover outside sounds. Also, ours always used pacifiers....don't know if your baby does, but they would rop themin the middle fo the night and at that age, not be able to find them, so we would have to go in and "plug them back in" and they would usually go right back to sleep.

Good Luck!

Jessie