Sleeping with Siblings

When my girls were younger, the older one would get out of bed frequently. We tried positive incentives, and for each night she stayed in her own bed she earned tokens. She could use them to "buy" extra TV time, computer time, special time with Mom or Dad, etc. Positives (earning something for being "caught" doing the right thing) always worked better for her than negatives (punishment-oriented).

Are you sure that the child is wakeing up at night and not just sleep walking. My child use to do that sometimes she would come in to our room and sleep on the floor by are bed or at our feet. But she was always a sleep when she did it.

It's quite an honor to know that a youmger sibling finds comfort in another, older sibling. Sounds like you are doing something wonderful as a parent I have a couple questions... Does it wake your older children when the younger climbs in bed? Does it disrupt them while they sleep? Is it just annoying to find a"younger" sibling in bed with you in the morning? Is the younger child experiencing something new or has something changed resently? Perhaps letting the older children know what a great thing they are doing and soon this to shall pass.

I think it is very normal for people not to want to sleep alone. I don't like to sleep alone either. My 4 y/o and 7 y/o sleep in the same bed together. We have bunk beds and lately my older daughter wants to sleep on the top bunk without her sister. I don't force her to let her sister sleep with her, but she usually caves because she doesn't want to hear her sister cry. Lately, my 4 year old has been getting in bed with us. I don't really mind so much.

have you tried putting a baby gate across her door so she can't get out of her room?

Hi C.,

I know exactly what you are going through. My son is 4 and for the past 8-12 months has been sleeping in between my husband and I. We have tried many tactics to get him to sleep in his own room. We put in a tv and dvd player, hoping he would fall asleep watching tv (this worked with our 2 girls), He has a nite light, His entire room is Ohio State themed, since he loves the team, we hoped this would make it more appealing. One of my friends said she had to turn the door knob around and lock her kids in, just to get them to sleep in their own beds. I tried this too, but he started kicking and banging on the door, and I just couldn't take it and neither could my two girls, who had to get up for school in the morning. At this point I think I am going to have to get the advice of my Pediatrician, because I am at a loss. I hope some of the ideas that I have tried will work for you. Like I said the TV worked for both of my girls around the age of 2-4 and they always fell asleep. I personally think they just liked having some noise in the room :)
Hope you find an answer!
N.

Have you tried a body pillow, maybe it will help make her feel someone else is sleeping with her. Or perhaps a pillow that has a story to tell (music to hear, etc). Have you talked to her about it....the "whys". Just a few thoughts....

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It may sound cute, but the other kids have a right to get a good night sleep. They are not responsible for being her security blanket. Try a body pillow or a large stuffed animal dressed in something you've worn. Try cutting out TV before bed-maybe dreams are disturbing her. You may just have to take something away-like TV if she continues to get up. My thought is that she really doesn't need to sleep with anyone... she falls asleep by herself. She just doesn't want to continue to sleep by herself after she wakes up. It's just more comfortable to snuggle then to sleep by yourself. She's 6 and really needs to break this habit. She's going to get to big to sleep with anyone soon. Your other kids shouldn't suffer. Good Luck.

Hi C.,

I have other clients where this has been a problem. Ensure your daughter is sleeping with one of her good directions at her head (where the headboard is positioned). Visit my website (on my profile) and enter the word 'trigram' in the search feature. Many people with sleep disorders have reported this makes a big difference. Please let me know if this works for you, and let people know about the website as we update it frequently with other great tips.

D.

Hi there,

I have been having the same issue with my 4 year old trying to sleep with his 6 year old brother. I unfortunately have had to resort to taking away certain toys if he didn't stay in his bed. I has worked for me so far.

S.

It sounds like she is using them like a security blanket. Maybe if she had something of theirs to sleep with. I have a four year old that sometimes has the same problem. Her 13 year old sister let her sleep with her very special stuffed horse. It works most of the time.Sometimes not. I also leave her radio on real low. For white noise. Hope this helps but every child is different. Good Luck.

Is she waking and getting scared maybe? Maybe she's having bad dreams. I would give her a picture of her patron saint and tell her that they are watching over her all the time. I did that with my 3 year old. I mean she knows about God ofcourse but I think the saint especially helped b/c hers is Saint Cecilia and she likes the fact she's the patron saint of musicians. She also went through a time when she had to sleep with any little prayer book. The more pictures, the better. I'm rambling on I know. I guess my suggestion is to give her nice things to see & think about when she does wake up. Hey, maybe if she starts saying a prayer when she wakes (like the rosary) it will put her back to sleep. I really hate to admit it but I've almost fallen asleep in mid prayer before. So for a 6 year old she probably would.

Maybe she just likes the feeling of a body next to her. So get her a body pillow that she can cuddle up next to. That might help?