Soap in the Mouth?

Definitely an old school method. I don't know anyone who does this today. If it does work as a discipline method, it is because the kids are scared of their parents/the consequences not because they are actually sorry for what they have done. Most of the old school methods of discipline seem to backfire in my opinion and made me "hate" my mom more than I already did. If I did behave, it was out of fear not because I respected my parents or understood what was wrong about my behavior.

I would never do this, although I know people who are great parents who don't have a problem with it. [Edited to add - in theory. I'm not sure I know anyone who actually does it, but it's been discussed among family and friends]

Here's my take on it. I think it's a violation of bodily integrity. When we teach kids about "bad touch" we tell them that their bodies belong to them. I think forcing any object or substance into a child's body as punishment is not the message I want to send to them about how adults and children interact. What if a babysitter did that? What if they chose another object? Where do you draw the line?

My kids are still too young for this issue (something to look forward to, eh?) so I don't have a strong feeling one way or the other. However, I totally agree with the other poster: many/some Moms today DO use these methods (soap, vinegar, hot sauce, etc.) but they do not talk about it publicly. I suppose it is effective but not popular in today's culture.

Yes this is old-school. Used to happen to my brother a lot when we were kids from one babysitter in particular (many many years ago). She'd run a little dish soap in the bathroom sink and make him take a teaspoonful (which he would then spit out) yuck! I do not believe that is an effective punishment (sure didn't stop him at the time)!

What I found effective with my son (now 20) was to explain that kids who use bad words use those words because they just do not know better words to use, they're just not very smart; same with adults but that it is not right to correct an adult if you hear them using bad language - if they hadn't figured it out by now they never would.

When my son got old enough and used bad language or mouthed-off (and believe me, he did so quite often). I would have him write an essay. I would give him a topic and expect a certain number of words and then check for spelling and punctuation.

Sometimes I would also have him look up descriptive words in the dictionary that he could have used instead of the swear words and have him write out the definitions four times. I feel this kind of exercise promotes helpful discussion and caused him to 'think' about his actions as he was writing. Also, he really hated writing essays and vocabulary words ;-) It definitely improved his penmanship!

Would not have worked with my older daughter as she loved to write - fortunately language was not an issue with her.

good luck Mamas!

W

S.

This is definately an old school way of discipline. I dont know of any books that would condone it either. I do hear from family members, my moms generation, that all say they have done it. When i was younger i had chile peppers and soap in my mouth. It was painful and my grandfather actually locked me out of the house, without a drink for hours. It was pretty bad, so its not surprising that i personally would never discipline my child in that manner.
I dont know if it actually works for other parents, but i am definately a time-out mom!

Yes, sounds old school. I have always been against using any kind of punishment where the consequence was a "distasteful" food item or soap in the mouth. I just heard a mom threaten "a dash of mustard" in her son's mouth. Personally, I am against that form of punishment. It's a little disturbing to me - maybe even mean. Time-outs, groundings, creative punishments that fit the crime - I'm there.

I remember, as a kid, the threat of "getting my mouth washed out with soap" but don't ever remember it happening. However, I do remember my sister's putting tabasco in the center of my oreo cookies. And, that was MEAN!

I'm curious to see the other posts too.

I would have to also say that this is an old way of discipline and that I did get my mouth "washed out" once as a child. I however just put my dtr in timeout if she uses and bad word ect. And also talk to her about her choice of words. I have read several books on discipline and I have not read any books that recommend this. Most recommend timeout for stopping bad behaviour and positive reinforcement for changing behaviour.

I agree completely with Jen. It is a violation, and in my opinion, it's not as effective as other disciplinary tactics. I had, and still have to this day, a profound hatred for mustard b/c a babysitter I had at 5 yrs old used it as punishment if we didn't obey her. If I smell mustard, I nearly vomit. Plus, soap is toxic, and if we saw our children eating it by themselves, we would certainly immediately get it out of their mouth. I definitely think there are better methods of discipline to use.

My parents used this technique with us when we smarted off to them. It was a fast and easy consequence for my folks to give us. I can't say that it was effective as it made me want to mouth off to them more because I thought it was cruel. I had my mouth "washed out" several times by bar and dish soap. Nowadays, research will tell you that dish soap is actually toxic in any significant amount. I'm sure that my parents didn't know this (or did they? heehee)

None of the parents I know currently practice this form of discipline. If they do, they keep it behind closed doors.

I have not heard of using hot sauce, but I was a child with a dirty mouth and my mom used to "wash it out" with soap. That was many years ago. I am not sure of anyone who does that these days.