Some Help....

I know the feeling... Moved away from family while I was prego with my DD... I knew a lot of family wanted to send me stuff, so I just made a point of calling and chatting with everyone... and would bring up the stuff I had already, and mention what I was getting ready to get. :) "I got this really cute bassinet, now I just need to find a good swing..." Or "I bought a bassinet the other day, now all I have left to get is..." and list the gift-appropriate items. If they are planning on buying something, I would hope they tell you NOT to get it... and if you already got what they are planning on sending, that gives them a chance to exchange it for something else. It's hard to let people know what you need without seeming tacky... but they are family after all, and if they have kids they should understand! Nest away!

I would start getting stuff, and just mention it casually in conversation, like " I am so excited, I set up the bassinet today, and I got her this and that...", and just see where the conversation goes naturally.

If this is your second baby, you really should have all of the essentials. Personally, I think the whole asking people to buy you things is kind of tasteless and especially in the case of a second child. People are going to give you whatever they want to give you. If it is important to them, then they will inquire about it. If it's not, then they won't. If it were me, I would just get whatever you need and not worry about what everybody else is doing. If you get duplicate items, you can always take them back. Best of luck to you!

I agree with the mother who said that because this is your second you should already have all the essentials. Why do you need another crib and all the big items? I can understand a stroller and car seat, but you shouldn't need all the other big things.

I say just let them know that you're going shopping for clothes and see where the conversation leads...but I certainly wouldn't rely on family to buy all new things for the second baby.

Hi Mama-
Ask your husband to call his family. The conversation should go like this:
Hi Mom, Dad- Krystal and I are so excited for you to come see the new baby when it arrives and are getting the nursery ready. A little while back an e-mail came to us that said that you and her parents were going to be purchasing certain things for the new baby. We are getting anxious about putting everything together and wanted to know if there are certain things we should not purchase. So far, we have gotten a bassinet from _________(name of store goes here) and are painting the babies room. We have (list items) a, b, and c, and are getting ready to purchase item d.
Is there anything you would like to get as a gift for us that we should not purchase?
Also, you can make a registry at babies r us and target, etc., and watch what is and isn't purchased. You should also make the same call to your parents if they are wanting to buy things for you as well. If either set wants certain things to be a surprise, then now is the time for them to arrive so that you are totally ready for the baby. Let them know what you need right away and are going to go and get. If they say to please wait on an item, then you know it is coming. If you can't wait for it, let them know- they may have ordered it or be getting prepared to bring it, but you should let them know that if they want to get you certain big ticket items, they need to arrive prior to the baby. =)
I hope that helps. Add in all the sugar you can.
If that is a tough phone call to make, send an e-mail with lots of x's and o's from you, daddy and the new baby.
Hope this helps
E. M

You should have all of the essentials already, such as crib, swing, playpen, diaper bag, changing table, etc. So now all you need is clothes, diapers and wipes. I don't think people usually give diapers and wipes as a gift for a second child, so I would plan on buying that myself. I think asking people to buy you things is tacky, even if they had offered in the past. I think the next time you talk to family, when they ask you how you are feeling, you could say that you are excited and getting everything together because your daughter will be here soon. Tell them that you are going clothes shopping and you are super excited to buy girl's clothes. Maybe that will spark a conversation about what gifts they are sending you. Being that it's your second child, I wouldn't expect anything. It's nice if they send you gifts, but don't count on it. You should just make sure you have everything you need. Best of luck and congrats on your baby girl!

i think it mite be kinda rude if u try to hurry them up. u still have a few weeks so chill out. u got a bassinet, thats important. now relax.

your not being anal at all! my hubby kept saying " oh we have three more months. whats the rush". i remembered how i didnt want to move the last two months. let alone put a crib together. i was the one that put everything together, decorated,and got perpaired. in your situation i would register and let them pick off the things. or even email a list of " i am going shopping for the following things" and announce it like that. or be straight forward and call each one if they are flakey about it then thats there fault. bottom line is that baby is going to get here soon and you would like to have the world ready for her. Sorry there is a your gonna maybe get lingering over you. Congrats on the baby.

Since your husband doesn't know how to approach his mom about it; I think you should call your mom and let her know what you have purchased and ask her to get with your mother-in-law and finalize the shopping lists. It was your MIL's idea to coordinate gifts and she initiated the first contact. Since she contacted your mom in the first place, I would let your mom try to nudge her along. It is important not to wait too long, she might arrive early.
My grandson arrived at 32 weeks, and we were all scrambling around trying to get what he needed. Good Luck.

I went through that too! It was so frustrating. My family and inlaws kept telling me to wait and not buy anything and when she was born I had nothing! No clothes, crib, not even a carseat. She was born early and I was recovering from a c-section and caring for a NICU baby.

When I had that c-section they told me I couldn't have anymore so I got rid of everything and a month after I eliminated all my baby stuff I found out I was pregnant again! I know that if I have another no one will be interested in giving me a baby shower, but I'm actually getting rid of everything because I don't have space to store them.

I would DEFINITELY call and say very nicely that you are trying to plan and wanted to know if they had something specific in mind they wanted to give you, so that you don't buy one as well.

As for the c-sections, I just have to say something because you said that you know you're having a c-section because your first was a c-section. I've had five c-sections (yes, you read that right!) I always expected to have c-sections because I was told they were medically necessary and I never read my records for myself or got a second opinion. When I got a new dr I found out that was NOT the case and I really regretted not doing more research on my personal records or on VBAC.

Just a thought....
S., mom to 4 girls ages 3-7

I know us mom's start getting "antsy" towards the end..but honestly, you technically have 2 months to go. I would sit back a little while longer and see what happens. Again, IMO I am sure you are very excited about getting the bassinett, but all it is going to do is sit there the next 8 weeks.

I would wait another 4 weeks before starting to fret over anything.

Congratulations on the arrival of your new little girl and Good Luck!!

You need to get your stuff together, as a new momma is it natural to plan. Go ahead and make the plunge and ask. You have to so you can prepare. Sounds like you are trying to be polite, but it's not working in this case.

Don't wait! I also wouldn't mention anything to his family unless they bring it up. You don't want it to seem like you are expecting them to get you something. There are always things that you will need like diapers, onesies, bottles etc. So if worse comes to worse they can get you a gift card to Babies R Us or a department store!

Good luck!

The answer is yes you are being too anal about it. Don't waste your money buying everything before the baby gets here, only buy a couple of weeks worth of onesies and layette sets, one large wash/shampoo/lotion, pampers, infant carrier/car seat, swaddle blankets, undershirts and that's it. Before you get through this all of your family and your husbands will have brought you more than what the baby will actually need. I'm saying this because I bought everything for my 1st child way before he was born and then when he got here I got so much more from family, long story short I still have clothes, blankets, towels, socks, shoes still brand new because he couldn't use it all; or at least I wasn't into playing dress up like he was a doll. I'm 32 weeks pregnant with my second and I haven't bought one item yet and I don't plan to until 2 weeks before my due date and even then, it will only be what I will immediately need.

Well, she did bring it up, so she's probably expecting you to tell her something. She doesn't need to bring it up again. I'm like you, it would make me uncomfortable, but from her perspective she might be wondering why you're not telling her anything.

Just write her an e-mail and say, "MIL, I know you were concerned about duplicate purchaces for the new baby, and I know you are excited about shopping for your new grandbaby, so I thought I'd let you in on what we've already received..."

Be positive, upbeat and gracious.

Congratulations!