Somebody Called Me Gramma!

Maybe he was saying "guerita guerita" which would sound like (werita). White lady white lady. Other than that, I got nothing.
L.

Well, I have a story from the other end of the spectrum (I'm 29, so If someone calls me a grandmother, I will probably die of embarrassment and won't be able to share the story.)

The day before I got married my bridesmaids and I were at a mall and we went into the little Starbucks hut to get some coffee. The guy behind the counter said to us, "So what, did you guys get out of school early today?"

Shock set in! "What?! I'm getting MARRIED tomorrow, and I TEACH high school!"

He just looked down and kept making the drinks.

Someone once asked my mother if I was her mom. I was only 15 at the time, so it made me feel pretty bad that at the age of 15 I looked old enough to be my mom's mom and my mom was only 35.

Moms of youngin's usually have their hair in a pony tail and spit up on their shirt. Since you looked all nice he figured you couldnt be the mom?

Well, hot 40 year-olds can be Grandmas! My mother was a grandma at 38. I was a first-time bio-mom at 41... Then my stepson made me "Grandma S." for the first time at age 43!

The first time I remember, I (47) was at a fabric store with my stepdaughter (23) and my daughter (6) and the checkout woman assumed we were grandma, mom, and child. My stepdaughter was more bothered by someone thinking she was a teen mom, than I was to be called grandma!

I was asked by a nice young east-African girl at a checkout lane at Target if my daughter was my daughter or my granddaughter. I was not offended at all. Then a Russian woman just yesterday assumed both my daughter and my youngest toddler granddaughter were mine. I wasn't offended by that either. Some cultures are more used to having children, and grandchildren, at a young age, some aren't.

It may have been more appropriate for the guy to have used the equivalent of "ma'am" to get your attention...

Oh hell no! Men are stupid!

I had my son at 39, we were at a vision place picking up glasses, my son was in a stroller....the clerk said "Hey-buddy, are your with grandma & grandpap for the day?" I was mortified! Now I laugh about it.
I just assumed the man (who was mortified when I replied: "Are you talking about Us, because we're MOM and DAD!") figured I was Pappy's trophy wife! LOL
Shake it off! Would you rather be O. of those 18 yo moms with a belly shirt and tattoos who are mistaken for the babysitter? LOL

Oh, I'm way used to it now. In my area, girls get married right out of high school and start having babies. Actually, many of them start having babies, THEN get married.....maybe. So all of the grandmas around here ARE my age.

Sad, but true....

I was standing at the cashier stand purchasing maternity clothes and was obviously pregnant when the cashier asked if I was buying them for my daughter.

I haven't been called that, but I did have some young guy- probably about 18 years old- call me a "milf" not too long ago. He and a friend were walking behind me- talking about me like I wasn't there, making lewd comments about my butt and whatnot. I guess they thought I was hard of hearing...Anyway, after hearing enough of this, I just turned around and said "If you want to get to know me better, just say so". They got horribly embarrassed and turn every shade of red in the book. Then the other guy said "Sorry, ma'am". UGH! Then I felt ancient! Next time I will just keep my mouth shut. LOL
Don't feel bad. It was probably just that one guy. I'm with Molly- men can be such idiots.

HAHAHAHAHA! So glad this hasn't only happened to me! I'm 44, my husband is 37, my step dtr is 15 and special needs, my kids are 11 and 8. I took my step daughter to the doctor, filled out all the paperwork and the lady at the front desk said something to me about my "grandchild". I was like, "what"? She said I had a different last name so she "assumed" I was the grandma! I *informed* her that I was her STEP MOM and did not change my name when I married her father or we would have had the same last name. HELLO!!! Ugh, some people...

Well no one has assumed I was a grandma yet. Are you sure he wasn't using it in the context of madam or something like that?

I have children old enough to have kids but bless their hearts they haven't done that to me yet. :)

Don't feel bad...40yo women are grandma's now days. Doesn't mean you don't look HOT. I'm 40 and people call me hun, sweetie etc...as if i'm in my 20's or something. I have a 14 and 11 yo. and people always say "you can't have kid's that old, you look like a teenager yourself". Don't know if that's a good or bad thing! Just be your age and be you...

Oh my. I am so sorry. Shame on the business owner. I'd say lodge a complaint but there seems to be an apparent language barrier.

I do understand what it's like to be 40 and a mother to a toddler. (Don't know how old your kids are but it shouldn't matter.)

If it's any consolation, I went gray at age 25 and told myself I would do my best to keep up my appearance. It sounds like you're doing that and this guy had no tact. A "senorita" would have done just fine!!!

I'd complain about the business, post the name of it, etc. right here or if your town has a Web site. That might empower you!

On a side note, my mother went gray early, too and never covered it. When I was a little girl people would always say I looked like gramma. It seemed to bother me more than my mom.

If you want to feel better, indulge in a mani/pedi, massage, or something that makes you feel better on the inside.

I agree with Laura U, I think they were calling you a blondie.

Well one day my husband and I were at Olive Garden with our little boy (he was around 1 or so at the time. A waitress came over and was talking to our son saying, "out with your grandparents?" Ahhhhh!! This was my first time being called a grandparent. My husband however is the one with the gray hair (he's 52), so I tell myself that it was because of that but that didn't last long because later in the week when I went to the store I was putting my son in his carseat and two guys sitting in a truck next to me asked my son if he had fun shopping with grandma.....Ugh.....not a good feeling at all. I'm not one for fashion and all that girly stuff but I don't think I look like a grandma yet.....I'm only 39. Oh well.......

Hi T.-

Has not happened yet...BUT, I am 52...shannon is almost 15, but looks about 5 ish...and is really not expected to grow much more due to medical challenges. I have recently started to wonder how many people 'assume' I am the grandma...lol

The more I get 'older'...the more she stays the same...

**sigh**

Best Luck!
michele/cat

My father was 44 when his first child was born and 46 when I was born. When we went somewhere with him when were little, invariably someone asked about his "grandchildren". My father rarely corrected them but usually a minute or two later one of us would come up to him and call him Daddy. He always got a good laugh at the other person's reaction and backtracking.

People assumed I was the nanny for YEARS. To the point of handing me cards and trying to hire &/or poach me from my current family. I can't even count the number of times I've been asked if I'm 'being treated well'.

Granted I was 23 when my son was born, and most moms in my area are in their 40's, but this was a multiple times per week thing for 6 years.

I am a grandma of 14 years this month. When my grandson was 6 months old, my son and his "wife" were with other family at a restaurant eating and my son got embarassed. My son is bald and I don't look my age and the waitress thought my son was my husband. He did immediately correct her and explain that is my mom and this is my wife. So I do understand.

But then again it is all in how we carry ourselves as adults and what we do wear as to how people respond to us. Yes wearing "hot" makeup and the style that you think is in maybe out and dated a bit and that may make someone think you are older than you really are.

Just take a little more time and look through the mags out there and figure what you can wear and be comfortable and not look the grandma part. If the hair is a bit too gray time to color it (man/woman). I only say that if you are really in the job market because appearance does matter.

I am sorry I rambled on a bit. My birthday is at the end of the year and people keep thinking I am about 50 when I will be 64. The body is not as firm as I would like but I do look a lot better than many of the students on campus who are in their 20s.

Have a good weekend and holiday.

The other S.

that hasn't happened to me. But, I do get asked if they are mine (they look like my Filipino husband). I also just a few years ago was handed a kids menu at a resturant after we sat down (our kids were not with us) and I am 30

Consolation: "People of color" tend to age pretty well. He probably assumed that you were a young, hot grandma. You can't hide maturity (your eyes, your classic choice in attire, being responsible enough to maintain your tires). He knew that it was less likely that you were such a "pretty pulled together" young'un. Unfortunately, he erred on the side of "AAAAHH!"

Some people are just so rude.
My GF who is from Mexico but speaks english married a blue eyed white man and had a beautiful blue eyed white baby boy. Whenever they were out and she held the baby, she would overhear people making comments in english (assuming she couldn't understand?) that she was probably the nanny! It always offended her.
And a male friend always gets mistaken as the husband of his mother. He says it's cause she looks so young, but I think he's looking a little old as well! LOL
Well, just laugh about it. Or get a t-shirt that says "MOM". LOL

While going to get ice cream with my (younger) cousin and her daughter a couple of years ago, one of the parking attendants said to my cousins dd 'what a lucky girl you are, getting ice cream with mommy and grandma!' I was like "what?! I'm only 29!"

ETA: it was obvious that English was this guys first language, so there was NO miscommunication, lol

When I was 30, a makeup saleswoman tried this to get me to buy her special anti-aging creme. I laughed in her face and said that old sales ploy would never work with me.

Us blond white people always look old to asians ansd hispanics. Why I don't know but I get te same thing. J.

Not assumed I was a grandma but assumed I was mom.

I have a sister who is 15 years younger than I. She was five or six, I can't remember. At our brothers basketball, she had to potty and wanted Sissy to take her. So she's washing her hands and taking FOREVER, I said "Princess let's go"...lady behind me said "she's just making sure there clean Mom"....Princess turned around and Said "She's not my mom, she's my sister"

Before the grammar police show up: there should they're.

I know you got a lot of comments already but I feel compelled to comment still. Girl you had better stop letting that man discourage you. That's how I said it in my head. In all honesty, if what you are doing makes you feel good and confident in yourself, don't let anyone else's opinion change that feeling. Whether he made an error or not, people are so critical of others and we can't live our lives based on what others say or think. I believe you are super fly and 40 ain't old. I'm only 31 but I hope when I am 40 I can still get all jazzed up and look sexy (I get lazy now). Keep doing you my dear especially if you are doing it well. Show us young girls how to keep it together at 40.

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It's most likely a cultural thing or a language problem, not necessarily an insult! I hope that helps! =) I'm a blond 40 also. About 5 years ago, I was at a car dealership and I was walking to the bathroom. A car salesman was walking behind me and I heard him say, "You look just like my ex-wife." I turned around and there was this wrinkly guy in his 60's with long grey hair pulled back in a pony tail. I don't know what kind of look I gave him but when I looked at him he quickly said, "...many years ago and that's a huge compliment!" Thank you???? LOL My hubby was laughing hysterically when I came back from the bathroom... oh geez, thanks a lot...LOL There was no cultural barrier or language barrier so I was pleased that he backtracked and elaborated a little to make it look like he was complimenting me...LOL