Still Give Gift If Don't Attend?

If I have already boughten the gift I send it or bring it the next time I see that person, it was bought for them after all, not my kids. The present you buy someone is for them because you care, not a cover charge for attending the party.

Just me, but when things like this happen, we plan a special playtime/get together with the birthday kid and give a belated birthday present; have a little special treat and play. It's nice. My son gets to 'do birthday' with his friend, gets to give the friend something he chose for them, the friend feels cared for and special. Win/win/win. In your situation, that sort of little playtime shows the other parent that you were sincere about coming and that you did care-- they will be more likely to want to continue to reach out, you know?

So simple, especially since you already have the money spent and were planning on going anyway.

This has only happened to us once - my little girl got sick at last minute. We did as Nervy suggests - I hung on to it for a visit the following week when the kids got together to play, moms for coffee.

They are good friends and so it was kind of natural to do so.

I think I looked this up once, and etiquette is you aren't required to.

If I wasn't going to see them over the summer, etc. I wouldn't go and drop them off at their house for example. We've had people RSVP us and then cancel - and didn't get a gift. It was a school friend and not a close one. I wouldn't have expected a gift.

I always think - if it were reversed, and it was my child's birthday, and they cancelled, would you feel they should give you one? Trust your gut - a lot depends on the relationship and what would be appropriate.

I'm sorry you're sick.

Much would depend upon how you want the future with this family to go. If you are looking for it to grow? I would send the gifts over and apologize that you can't make it for being sick.

If you don't care about the relationship? Just apologize to them for the last minute cancellation and tell them you are sick. Either take the gifts back or give them to your kids.

Either way - let them know you aren't coming due to illness.

Hope you get better soon.

If this is a friendship you'd like to cultivate, I'd inform the parents about your illness, and make sure they know you're unable to come due to illness. Then I'd save the gifts and give them to the boys at your first opportunity.

If you don't think this will be an ongoing friendship, and if it's not that important to you, then donate the gifts at a Salvation Army center (or similar place) or save them for the eventual holiday donation sites that crop up later in the year

You bought them gifts? And aren't going to the party so you want to know what we think about you just giving those presents to your own kiddos.

If you're not especially close then sure, give them to your kids. If your kids want to, really want to, give those kids their gifts then I'd let them do so.

If you RSVP'd before "the last minute", then she is expecting you all to show up, and probably didn't invite someone else because your family "takes up room". You should give the gifts. If your husband is willing to take the kids without you, they should go. You don't want them to think that you are the kind of people who don't "show up" to a party. There are so many people like that, ugh...

I would give it to the birthday boys.

You are not obliged to give a gift if you all are unable to attend so I don't see the need to send gifts so I would return them to the store especially since you said you arn't close friends.

Sorry you're sick.

I think etiquette depends on how much lead time you gave them. If you're cancelling at the last minute or if it's a small party and your absence will be noticed, and if you want to foster a relationship with them, then go ahead and send the gifts. But if you knew a few days in advance and if it was a big party anyway, then I don't think you need to feel obligated.

If I have a leftover gift, I tend to put it up on my closet shelf as an "emergency" gift for the future. I think if you give the stuff to your kids, the word will get out that "I got some cool stuff when we canceled on Joe and John's birthday." Depends on how old your kids are, but there's always that risk!

You could "split the difference" and send a card with $10 in it if you want to. But frankly, I'd go to bed and get well. If you are able to do too much shlepping around to the post office and so on, it might look like you weren't really all that sick. That doesn't help a new friendship.

If you rsvped that you were going to the party then definelty give the gifts. Otherwise, it is up to you.

Not sure. Did you RSVP yes and end up being a no show (illness or not, this family planned on hosting you and your family)? I would give a gift if this is the case. Why not return that $50 gift and give something you think is more appropriate based on your level of friendship? Maybe a $25-30 gift total.

edit: i write this because it sounds like for you to ask you want a reason to not give the gifts to the birthday boys and want to just give the gifts to your children instead. Normally people give the present to the person.

I am assuming the party is in the next day or so, since normally one does not get sick 2 weeks before a child's party and plan to be sick for it.