Stop the Crying

Is there something in the air because my daughter has been doing this same thing. We use the "naughty mat" which works well, but I wish I could understand the REASON for the crying.

Raad What the Bible Says About Child Training by Fugate. It has great info on dealing with this and other topics. Whining and crying for attention can sometimes be for good reason (ill, ignored, stressed) but often it becomes just a bad habit because we parents respond to the whining with whatever the child wants (food, attention, a new toy). Become a student of your child - develop discernment so you know when your child truly needs something and when they are being manipulative. Ignore manipulative whining. If it does not stop, apply firm, direct consequences that have an immediate effect (leave the store, take away the toy, remove the food, remove child from room, spanking, etc) so your child knows that, no matter what has happened in the past, you will no longer tolerate whining. Teach your child to politely say, "Mommy, may I please...?" and do not respond unless requests are made with words, not crying. It may take awhile, depending on the strong-willedness of your child, but it works!

SAHM of seven, 23 yr - 18 mos., still in training with the younger ones

It could be that he's tired. My 2 1/2 year old wines a lot when he's tired. Try an earlier bed time. It usually helps (after a few days) with my son.

If the whining is part of a request, give him the example and require him to say it right before he gets what he wants. Try to get him to take a deep breath, then use his big boy voice.

If it's just constant irritating noise, tell him he needs to go to his room or another reasonable place (nearly out of your earshot) until he's done. Sometimes a rest out of the way really helps, plus it gives him practice judging his own mood. Or if he is tired, he might just take a nap.

Try to actually engage him in conversations and read stories with problem-solving to give him more practice with words.

It must be tough to be 3.

My almost 3-yr old has really kicked in with the whining lately too. After trying to talk to him about what was going on several times, I finally remembered him doing the whining fit thing at the beginning of toddlerhood. I've started just ignoring it again. Walking away, or just going about our business without responding to it seems to be working much better. The whining isn't encouraged and he's doing it for shorter and shorter spans of time. Hang in there and be patient. Once he sees it's not getting him attention he'll slowly start moving on.

I'm glad you posted this, we are going through the same thing. My daughter will be 3 in August but I've been talking to friends for at least a month now about how she's so whiny lately and is constantly crying. The worst is when it's the middle of the night and she will wake up and have a 15 minute temper tantrum in her bed- That's hard to ignore. Sometimes I try to hold and cuddle her, sometimes I make her repeat her request in a normal voice, sometimes I just ignore her, sometimes I give her a choice of either going to her room to finish her tantrum or having a time-out on the kitchen chair. The time-outs seem to help the best, she hates them and is ready to calm down so she can get off the chair. And 2 minutes later is as smiley and happy as ever. My daughter gets plenty of sleep- almost 12 hours a night and about an hour nap during the day. In daycare 4 days a week, an only child so she gets plenty of attention but also plays good by herself. I'm just hoping this "phase" ends soon, it's draining.

The only thing we've done and it has worked, is we make them ask again but in a nice voice. We will even say it just like they should say it, and they're basically repeating exactly what we said, but it's teaching them that they will not get whatever it is they want when they whine or cry. And, I think it's something that happens over a LONG period of time. Since my daughter was 2, we've been practicing this method with her...but still, sometimes she reverts to the whining/crying. I sometimes think it's neverending. You've probably already tried this though.

as our kids grow they will always have a period where they take a step back and need our loving arms and laps to comfort them. maybe give your son some extra time and help him to grow with confidence that you are there when he needs you. maybe cut out all the extras we place in our life and just spend some extra time with him. now that the weather is warming, it is a perfect time to take that first trip to the zoo or go to the park for the evening. etc.
i hope that helps

I would second that he is probably not getting enough sleep...does he still take naps?? make sure your day off routine is similiar to daycare where he may be taking daily naps...also try earlier bed time and consistency (are you putting him to bed later on the evenings when he doesnt have daycare the next day??)

My 3 yr old takes daily naps and i make my 5 1/2 still take naps on the weekends to help with crabbiness...also, we have a tendency to let them stay up later on the weekends, but it really can change their dispostion the next day as they still get up at the same time as a school day...

H.,
Personally, I think its a 3 year old thing. Everybody laughs and says terrible twos...but I'd have to say that I believe three is harder. My 3 year old will do this same thing, sometimes because she's tired...but otherwise just waking up she will cry. The thing that has helped for us is to just leave her alone. I will not talk to her, until she is done crying...it has helped a lot...because she knows that we will not come to her rescue. (the first time is long...but after that it stops pretty quick)

It's more than likely the horrible 3's. Both my boys AND my babysitting kids have all gone thru them. In my opinion they are worse than the terrible 2's. My best advice would be to try to ignore the whining as best you can. If he won't stop, calmly put him in another room and tell him you don't want to listen to his whining. Just remember: he'll grow out of it.

Tell him that you can't understand a word he's saying when he whines and ask him to repeat it in a normal voice so that you can. Keep telling him this over and over until you hear him speaking in a normal voice, then respond to whatever it is he has said. I always told my kids, "Oh..THAT's what you were saying! :) I gotcha now!" Eventually he will get tired of repeating himself over and over all the time and will stop the whining.