A few days ago, some of my girlfriends and I took our toddlers to the zoo (all 5 of the babes are 21 months). Two of my friends brought strollers along, and would strap their boys down immediately and kept them in there most of the time we were strolling around. The other babies were on foot, and stayed close and had a blast being able to stretch their legs and get some energy out. When these two boys were let out of their strollers, they went buck wild and would take off as far as possible and got into all kinds of trouble, so therefore they were strapped down again and would scream to be let down for the next half hour.
I was never really able to use a stroller with my boy, he just wouldn't stay in it. I used a wrap for the first year and nowadays we'll bring a stroller when we're going to be walking a lot, but it ends up mostly holding our stuff and he'll occassionally sit in it to rest his legs for a minute or two. The thing is--he never runs off! And my other friends who didn't use strollers much don't have issues with their toddlers running away or being too unmanageable either. SO which came first, the chicken or the egg? Are their kids crazy wild because they're always strapped down or are they strapped down because they are so wild? I just want to hear others' experiences with this--I hope this doesn't sound judgmental at all, I don't mean it to be. I'm just curious what others' opinions and experiences with strollers vs. carriers are :)
Updated: I forgot to mention that I am due in 4 days with baby no. 2, and I did carry him a couple of times while we were at the zoo but he would mostly hold my hand if we got into a crowded area (it was the middle of the week and it's a pretty small zoo, so there really wasn't a huge crowd). We did receive a sit 'n stand stroller as a baby gift, one where the older child can either stand up on the back or it has a little platform for them to sit and the baby carseat fits in the front. I'm hoping he'll love standing up in it, because it will definitely be harder to wrangle BOTH babies if I'm ever anywhere crowded by myself with them. I'm really enjoying all of the responses so far! Keep 'em comin
Definitely a temperament thing! Some kids are more independant at a younger age while others like to stay closer to mom/dad.
I think it is a matter of parenting style, not a question of strollers or not. I babycarried my first till she was 14 months, then starting using the stroller a bit at the Zoo, etc.
I use both a stroller and carrier with my son when we go places --he is one massive little guy! If he goes wild, we will have to leave, so I have a funny feeling he won't go too crazy ;-)
It may be parenting but a lot of it is the kid's differing personalities. It sounds like these boys may be in the stroller because they dont want to walk near mommies when out of strollers not vice versa. My younger son loves his stroller but is not wild out of it. He is uncomfortable in crowds and feels the stroller is his safe place. My older son didn't like the stroller once he learned to walk on his first birthday! it wasn't safe in parking lots etc.
My daughter preferred to be carried! so it was difficult when we walked a lot and should have been in a stroller! Three kids -very different personalities! Many 21 month old children are impulsive, and have no fear, others really prefer to stay close to their mothers.
My question is when do i stop using a stroller if he likes it and I think it keeps him from getting tired at zoo, aquarium, etc He's a small five year old-of course we only use it on days with lots of walking and it is always a choice does he want to walk or ride. Are you saying your 21 mo old walked from the parking lot to the zoo and all around the zoo without getting tired or being carried? (another reason I like the stroller is I am an older Mom with back problems and can not carry him at all) but now i feel bad for letting him still use it....?
Huh...that is interesting, never really thought about it. I wonder if it isn't a personality thing and those boys have similar personalitites so their moms choose to use strollers? I'm trying to think of my daughter and she never minded being the in the stroller at all and we used it often but by 22 months she was definitely in and out of it all the time, mostly out. She is fairly good about staying close to us, so maybe you're theory is right...when forced into restraint, children will rebel! ;)
Also, do those boys go out a lot...I mean do they have ocassion to be in the stroller a lot, if not maybe they just aren't used to the "rules" so it's easier to keep them in there.
Don't know for sure, but you do bring up an interesting point...just be glad you don't have to deal with it, but don't be too glad in case you have another one and your theory backfires! haha...only kidding! :)
Oh I disagree with all the "parenting" posts...LOL! My oldest, a girl, stays by my side and my youngest, a boy, will run given the chance, they are raised the same by the same parents!!!!! My oldest HATES standing or riding in the same stroller as bro. But bro loves to ride usually. I think it is the kid. Mine are 22 months apart. Right now they are just turned two and almost 4 and it has been this summer that I can take them anywhere in any form of locomotion that they both or one or the other don't have a fit/running away/melt down. You have small children, as do your friends....I waited till my youngest was at least 6 months to take both children out by myself in someplace like the zoo....I am a highstrung mom... I wanted a certian standard of behavior before....some moms like to teach on the go... to each their own... :)
I have twin boys that are almost two. In my case, the craziness definitely came first!!! I keep my boys in the stroller because I have to. They are runners and leave me the moment they're free. It doesn't matter if they were in the stroller all day or for a minute. I think it is definitely a personality thing. My house is extremely child-proofed because of their curiosity and behavior. We'll go to other people's houses with children around the same age. They won't have a single baby gate up or use cabinet locks because they don't need it with their child. Not my boys! They are nonstop balls of energy. So, we always keep them in the stroller for their own safety. I used to feel disgusted when I would see parents that used the backpack leashes for their children. Then, I had twin boys and now have a completely different feeling...we have been given two of those as a gift by people that know our boys!
I carried my son for his first year. When he began walking, he was very good at holding hands and staying next to me, until he was about 2 years old and then he began to run away (maybe because he had a baby sister?). I needed to use a harness to keep him safe when walking in the street or in crowds. Since he turned 3 or a little before, I don't have this problem anymore. He just stays by my side (long training!). And he loves being in a stroller, but only for short walks.
My daughter was also on a carrier as a baby. She is now 17 months, loves to go out either walking or strolling and always stays by my side. We'll see for how long!
But, I believe that if either of them was in a zoo with friends the same age and unable to move as the others are doing, they would go wild when unstrapped, too. We always use the stroller as last resort when they are too tired to walk and try to have them burn as much energy as they have (a lot!) before hand. I never thought of running away this way before. We make them exercise just to ensure a good night of sleep for the entire family!
As for me, if I need to make a long trip on bus or train or plane, when arriving, I need to stretch and move to feel myself again. At 21 months, moving may involve running wild in a zoo. I think the issue for your friends is not about stroller vs carrier or good/bad parenting or even personalities, but maybe toddlers sitting for long periods of time in an exiting environment with no possibility to burn their energy.
Hi A.,
I have a 2 and a half year old girl and a 7 month old girl. I am like you where I let me daughter walk when she wants, and we bring the stroller for longer outings. So far, (knock on wood, lol) she stays close and does not run away. Don't get me wrong, she has her crazy energy moments, but she does not run around buck wild.
I use the 'innocent until proven guilty' attitude - you can walk on your own, but take advantage of your freedom, and the leash is tightened! We were considering a stroller like you are talking about, but my older daughter wants to sit in the stroller when she is ready for her nap, and in the double stroller, she cannot do that. If she gets really tired, I put her in the stroller and hold my 7 month old. Whatever works at the time - we just follow our daughter's cues. We are extremely lucky - my older daughter LOVES to help with my younger daughter, especially with pushing the stroller; I still need to steer, but when she is busy pushing, she is NOT running away, lol.
But I definitely believe that the strapping in to the stroller causes the craziness. What kid would want to be strapped down into a stroller at a zoo? None that I have ever known...
I believe that some parents do what is convenient for them, and do not do what they can to give their children the best experiences possible.
Good luck and congrats - all works itself out the way it should,
L.
I think it is more parenting. My son was in a stroller a lot (and still goes in occasionally now at 4), but it was easier for me to have him in there than a necessity for him to be in it. He can walk just fine next to me and not run off, but he also knows that if he ran off or misbehaved that there would be consequences. I think most anything like this though comes down to the parenting...if you parent, your child will behave, if not, good luck!
Congrats on your new little one coming soon and good luck with delivery!
The surest way to get my toddler to walk is to take the stroller with me.
I used carriers a lot with my son when he was little. And he started to walk at 9 months so...he's been walking for a long time for his age - and even back then I let him walk everywhere we went (I mean walk a little bit every where we went, like down 1 aisle in the store or something).
He's better than his friends at staying nearby (the friends are often in strollers).
That said, I do find he runs off more when I have the stroller with me than if I don't. So...you might be onto something!!
I'll definitely side on the different personalities of different children. I have two children and their personalities could not be any more different!! Yet they have the same parents, same environment and generally very similar experiences. My daughter (5) actually thinks it would be "fun" to get lost in the mall so she could "do her own thing." (Believe me, we've had MANY talks about this!) My son (2.5) very obediently held onto my sister's pants pocket at the State Fair this summer when I asked her to watch him for a few minutes. His little face starts to wrinkle up if he loses sight of me. Two different kids, two different personalities. The differences between them have been very clear to me since birth (actually, during pregnancy). Just the way it is. :)
My experience as a mom of two is that children can different regardless of whether or not they have been raised in the exact same manner. One child needs a lot more supervision than the other. Noth of my kids probably spent the same amount of time in stollers and carriers in the early month and yet, they are very different children and act very differently when out and about.
One child loved the stroller. One child hated the stroller. One child loved the wrap. One child was indifferent to the wrap. One child did a fair amount of crying for the first 4 months. The other child barely cried at all. One child slept through the night at 8 weeks old. The other child didn't consistently sleep through the night until he was 6 months old (ug). Good luck with number two. I'm sure it will be very exciting to see how he or she is different!
My daughter was always in strollers and now at 3 she generally walks, either holding a hand or with her hand in my pocket. We have a run away issue once in a while, but for the most part, she likes being a big girl who stays with mommy.
My first child preferred a stroller, but when she walked, she walked with us. My second child was wild and would wander and then loose track of everyone. He could care less about being lost too. He could get away from anyone (his preschool teacher lost him once during the Christmas performance). When he was 2 and 3, we would put one of those backpack leashes on him if he wouldn't go in the stroller. So I'm going with they are strapped down because they are wild. Each child is different, and some parents luck out and both are calm and listen well.
I think it's a matter of parenting all around. We use a stroller with our kids quite often because we walk great distances, but when they are out of the stroller they are required to stay with us. Should they chose to walk away (we also require they hold a hand either mine or my husband's) then they will either go back into the stroller until they can obey, or they receive a time out - which has happened in the middle of a store.
Letting your little one walk is fine if it works for everyone involved as long as it's a controlled situation. Staying with a parent is a safety issue, it takes a matter of seconds for someone to snatch a kid and take off with them, it's one of my greatest fears. So we explain that to our kids that if they walk away someone might take them (this is only to my older daughter) and to them both that should they wander off they might wander into danger, our youngest is 19 months and is pretty good.
That's just a perspective thing, glad you had fun with your friends and your little guy and that he listens so well!
i also believe that it is the personality of each child. i have 3 young boys ages 5, 3 and 18 months. i have used carriers with each of them until they were 10 months old and started walking then used strollers after. my oldest would always stay right with me-too afraid to wander off and he still is my responsible, try not to disobey always ask 1st little man:) my 2nd is a whole other beast he was much more daring would often wander off but always made sure he could see me. he is still my curious, try it 1st ask later. now my third actually loves his stroller and jumps in it all the time to inform me he wants to take a walk. i usually don't even buckle him in. but if he sees something or chooses to go somewhere he is off and running never looking back (a litle frightening at times). all are parented the same way with the same rules and restrictions. i have several friends with similar situations of some of their children staying close and others running off. all kids are different.
i think you should be very thankful that you have one that loves to stay with you (i remember those days fondly:) and pray that your next one will be the same. good luck to you on baby #2.
what an interesting question!
basically it brings us back to the age-old question of nature vs nurture. and there's no clear-cut answer. some littles are so wiggly they're going to run no matter what, but most probably can be taught by patient mamas to stay close. but the wild ones will get wilder from enforced confinement. it goes back to moms being careful psychologists and getting to know each child's personality and learning styles. you can have a basic parenting philosophy that doesn't change, but a wise mom will realize that you can't treat each child exactly the same.
thanks for introducing such an interesting discussion.
:) khairete
S.
very interesting question! My older daughter was a runner! She started walking at 10 months, and was running shortly thereafter! She would take off on me all the time, and when we were at a store or wherever, i did usually keep her in a cart or stroller. At the playground though I would let her run off her energy. I had my kids close together though... 15 months apart to the day! So out of necessity, i had them both in a stroller. there's no way I could carry an infant and all of our STUFF, and have a toddler running around at the zoo or wherever. Anyway, she outgrew the running away, and her little sister, who is now 4, is still content to sit in a stroller and be pushed around. I don't think she ever took off on me, but she was a later walker than her sister.
As for the sit and stand... those are the best! My girls are 4 and 5, and I still use it when we are going somewhere with a lot of walking. They one in back can sit... there's a seat and it even has a seatbelt, so don't worry about that!
good luck!
I agree that it is parenting, and it also varies day to day (and depends on the child). So I guess I agree that there is no right answer? My son is 19 months, and I carried him basically until I was too pregnant with #2 (due any day now) for the carrier to fit comfortably (probably he was about 14 months when I stopped). He was a late walker, and learned to walk right as I was unable to carry him, so it worked out. Sometimes he is wonderful and holds my hands or walks like a big boy next to me, and other days he'll constantly run away from me. I can't really predict how he'll behave from day to day! He's just an energetic little guy! I have lately started using a stroller more when out and about, and I like how it is working out. When I need him to be calm and he's not, I can put him in the stroller (he'll let me know if that's not where he wants to be, of course, but usually he's content as long as we're moving), and I can always push the stroller with him walking next to me if he's listening well. I would suspect that the kids often run away (for whatever reasons) and that is why their parents use the strollers, not the other way around.
