Support for Infant Loss?

Just like all other ladies said, being there is important.

Remember to give her space if she seems to need it, but in a way that you also stay close by either cooking a meal for her, helping her around the house, running errands and that sort of things.

A lot of times, words is not what is needed the most. A constant, loving presence is highly valued.

I volunteer with newborn losses (I'm a photographer with "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep") and have studied the process pretty deeply.
First of all, if you were pregnant together, you might not be the one to administer support right now.
She needs three things: Nurture, Ritual, and Recognition. Feel free to check out our site, NILMDTS to read some insites. She might find some comfort there as well.
I'm so sorry. It's a really confusing loss down to the core, but she's not alone.

When I lost my babies it really helped just to have someone there to listen. I had this wonderful friend that remembered little things, like the babies' birthdays. She brought little roses to mark special occasions. My sister-in-law gave me Christmas ornaments in rememberance of them.

It is hard for a long time. I forced myself to pick up babies and walk through the baby clothes isles in stores. It will be four years this Mother's day and I still have days when I Miss my little ones.

Don't feel like you have to say anything, just be there.

The most important thing is to just be available to her. Listen to her if she wants to talk. Cry with her if she needs that.
Victoria

Just tell her you love her and you can't even imagine how she must feel, but you are there to listen to her and do anything you can for her. Ask her if there's anything you could do to help her right now. Just listen!

One thing that's important -in the future, after some time has passed, don't act like this baby never existed. If it's upsetting for her to talk about, don't necessarily bring it up all the time, but don't be afraid to mention his name or speak about him if it's appropriate. I know a lot of people who have lost children feel terrible because everyone they know never speaks of the child again for fear of upsetting them, but it makes them feel even worse because they don't want the child to be forgotten.

I would not avoid her, and I would hug her and tell her this, " Hi Sally, I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling. If there is anything you need, or if you just need to get away and cry on someone's shoulder, I am here for you."
Whatever you do or say, never say anything about baby being better off, or you can always have another one, etc.

A good friend of ours lost a baby recently, she lived 7 days. I did send a card and made sure to not be a bother but to still let them know that if they needed to talk to call anytime. Hugs and support are what they need. My friend said that all of the cards are in her treasure box of her babies things, they reminded her that we were there to comfort her. Whatever you do do not avoid this family they need you now more than ever, but don't be pushy with their time. Act normal and give hugs :(
Condolences to your friend.

I second and strongly recommend HAND!!! It's good for both parents and friends/relatives.

I'd skip the sympathy card - they're terrible things to open when you're heart is so wounded. Just let her know you're there for her and be a good listener and then REALLY LISTEN. Encourage a support group if you think it will suit her personality or private grief therapy AFTER the initial shock has worn off. She will never get over it - it will always be there - so don't tell her any cliche stuff like Time heals all wounds - etc. If you don't know what to say - don't say anything except I'm here - you're not alone.

HI L.,

Make sure you articulate to her that you can't comprehend the pain she is going through but you care for her and are there for her (and be there). Those are the only words you need. Nothing compares to the loss of a child.

M.

You can get some grief support materials and support group meetings schedules from any local funeral home. Sorry for the bad news. Good luck.

Unfortunately, this happened to a friend of mine. There is a support group in the Bay Area called HAND - Helping after Neonatal Death. Their website is http://www.handsupport.org/friends.html. There are tips from friends on how to help on the website too.

I'm so sorry for your friend's loss.

I dont want to be nosey but how did the child passed away? :( be there for her tell her that she has a shoulder to cry on for when she needs it!!!!!!!!!! It helps alot!!!!!! Tell her that her child is in a safe place now and will know how much he or she was loved by her!!! Be there for whatever she needs!! May god bless her family and those around her!! My condolenses!!!