Teaching Baby to Fall Asleep!

Added per your SWH: - Mommy, she is strong willed. But you're just at the beginning here, honey. You cannot be weak-willed to her strong-will! You must be EQUALLY as strong! What are you going to do when she's a teen trying to run your life? Really - you are the parent. You have to force yourself to BE the parent and not let her rule your household. Of course she pops up and cries! Why wouldn't she? It works!

Time for a new plan. Either do it or stay up half the night for another year-plus!!

Hugs mom - sending you STRENGTH!!!

Original:

This is only a habit. She does not need to nurse. It's a comfort thing to her, AND she does not know how to self-soothe. It is a skill you must let her learn.

However you decide to do it, you must be 100% consistent. It will not work if you cave and sit back down in that chair and nurse her, T.. Decide right here and now if you are willing to "just say no" to it in absolute terms, no matter what. Otherwise, don't go through the hassle of trying to change it. If you cave, she will double and triple her efforts to make you rescue her. I really mean this.

Try feeding her some baby food (nothing sweet, maybe cereal if she is still taking that) before her bedtime routine. Nurse her with the light on. Talk to her and keep her at least groggily awake. You do NOT want to put her down in the crib asleep. Wake her up if you need to. Put her down in the crib and turn out the light. Pat her back or stomach (whichever one is up) and say "night-night" and walk out of the room. Give her a few minutes to fuss to let her try to drop off to sleep on her own.

With a full stomach, she probably will. The cereal will probably hold her longer, along with nursing.

When she wakes up later, come in her room and sit on the floor beside her crib. (It's easier on you if you have something to lean your back on.) Put your hand through the slats and stroke her leg. She will probably stand up crying, but when she realizes that she only has your hand, she will eventually lay down to be closer to you. Keep your hand on her leg, eventually not actually stroking anymore. She will know you are there, but you are NOT talking to her. Not interacting. Not picking her up. Not holding her. Not nursing her. She will cry a lot the first few times. In a few nights, it will get shorter and shorter and she will start letting go of herself and fall asleep.

After the first few nights when her "episodes" start tapering off, wait 5 minutes before going in to give her a chance to stop on her own before you go in and sit on the floor. When it gets even better, give her 10 minutes.

Don't waver AT ALL from any of this for at least 2 weeks. You owe it to yourself to give her the GIFT of self-soothing. Do it for her. Do it for you.

Dawn

T., she's not hungry. She's wanting the comfort of you to fall asleep to. There's absolutely NO reason why she can't CIO to break her of this habit. If you don't, it will only get worse. I can't think of any reason why you should be getting up multiple times in a night to nurse a 9-month-old child. She is plenty old enough to sleep all night as long as she's getting her calories during the day.

The way I see it, you have two choices. Tough it out, let her CIO, OR, continue to give in and perpetuate the problem.

Good luck, I know that it's frustrating. I'm sort of a no-nonsense parenting type when it comes to sleeping time. I know not everyone is like this, or CAN be like this, but I swear to you that you will all be happier if you just let her cry.

What about letting dad put her to sleep? Nurse her like Dawn suggested, where she's groggy but not asleep and then hand her off. Let dad rock and cuddle with the lights out for a bit and then put her down. My son does so much better when it's not me rocking him at bedtime and naps. Plus then dad gets some quality time and you get a nice break for yourself. Good luck!

We used Ferber, it worked for us.

Others have already stated this, but once you decide to go down this path, you must be fully committed. If you "rescue her" by picking her up, or nursing after she has cried for 40 minutes, the only lesson you will have taught is that if she cries for 40 minutes you will come and nurse her.

Ferber was tough on us, but so well worth it.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

I see nothing wrong with falling asleep while on the breast, but I love this site for lots of good information.

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/31-ways-g...

Once you figure it out, please let me know, so I can pass this vital information to my younger sister. My younger sister has a 2.5yr old who still needs nursing to sleep and still wakes up screaming if he finds himself alone.

Have you tried a pacifier? One of mine just wanted the soothing that comes from sucking.

I did this very gradually. Nurse her to sleep. Then nurse her 99% to sleep, then take her off the breast but keep holding her until she is completely out, then transfer her to the crib. Once that works consistently, then try taking her off a little sooner each time, until very gradually you are not nursing her to sleep, but still cuddling her to sleep. Then do the gradual process where you cuddle her until she is 99% asleep and transfer her to her crib, then less and less.It may take a month, but over time it will work.