The "State" Telling Me What to Do

Daycares do have a list of "rules" they like their toddlers to follow, which includes weaning from the bottle and eating solids, however, I know of no state requirements requiring a child to eat crackers or eat cereal at 4 months. There were several children in my son's class who started solids later and there was a least one who started earlier.

At my daughter daycare they only feed the children what the parents bring in. Well at least in the infant room which is where my daughter is. The second week she was in daycare her teacher asked me if Julianna diet includes anything else the milk I told her she eats some solids then she asked me to bring in cereal. The write down everything she eats and what time she eats. If they told me that my daughter had to be givin something that i thought she was not ready for i would investigate the daycare.

I worked in a daycare about 5 years ago and I do not remember there being any state guidelines for what we HAD to feed children. I would research this and report the daycare to DSS.

I can tell you, as a nurse, that the Amaerican Academy of Pediatrics reccommends that babies have breast milk (or formula) ONLY until they are 6 months of age. Not sure why the state is forcing this issue, btu I would look for another daycare, if that's an option. No one should be able to tell you how to care for your child as long as he is healthy and growing the way he should be.

That does not sound right. My son is also in daycare, and I did not give him solids until he was 6 months old. The daycare teachers did ask me to bring him some snacks recently because he was trying to eat the other kids' food, but it has always been up to me what food I provide for him (I brought some of those dissolving rice puffs).

Here's a link to the the State's child care information page, so you can read for yourself what's true: http://www.state.sc.us/dss/childcare/index.html

And on this page, you can search for a center and see if they've been reported to DSS: http://www.state.sc.us/dss/cdclrs/search/index.html

The teachers at your day care should not be giving your child food you have not approved.

Okay, I work for the state, and I'm not sure what state you are in, but I know here I've never heard anything like that. They are feeding you lies, because no one has the right to tell you when you MUST feed your child.
I teach classes here, and they are nutrition classes, and we advice moms when is the best time to start what, but we stress that every child is different and must be started when they are ready, no sooner. You need to let this daycare know that you will fight this, and you will be reporting them to everyone you can. This may make them back down.
I know what it's like to not have any other options, but to be honest, if this place is mistreating your child, or not repsecting your wishes, it may be worth it to pay a little more money to find a place that will treat your child the way you want him to be treated.
You do not have to sit back and accept this crap they are giving you.

I remember when my son was that age and the daycare told me that after pureed baby food, he needed to eat what they provided (age appropriate food, of course) or they would lose some type of state funding. Wonder if that's what's going on....

I could hardly believe your message! How awful! Can you take him out of that daycare? My son didn't get teeth until much later as well and so couldn't eat solids. Wow, it's just shocking to me that a daycare provider would be that unresponsive to a parent's request and that the government would really be that intrusive (which I doubt). Even on the packages for baby foods they tell you not to feed them these things until they are able to chew, etc. It sounds like a truly awful daycare. I hope you can find a better one. Bless you.

Hi R., Ima stay at home mom I watch a 11 month old right now If you need help with childcare please let me know, thats sounds like a bunch of bull.

That is just crazy! I would be absolutely furious. I've actually been considering taking a child during the day so that my son could have someone to play with. He's 18 months and loves other children. I don't think we ever fed our son a cracker until well after a year and even then it was either goldfish or the gerber crackers. I also did not even feed him baby cereal until six months and mixed solids in with nursing at around from then up. (And he still nurses!). Anyhow, I would definitely remove your child from that daycare and I wish you luck in finding childcare that respects your wishes and that YOU know best for your son!

I personal dont think that it is right for the state to say that they have to give them things that you said that you dont want him to have , they dont know your child like you said he is not ready for that . But hey maybe Iam out there to

Get him out of that daycare. I do not know a daycare where the state requires them to feed children certain things at certain ages. That sounds like a bunch of hooey. Plus by giving a child a ritz or saltine cracker they are posing serious health risks to the child. I would talk to you local department of health or whatever organization would deal with daycares and find out what the requirements are, and then report them for unsafe practices with children. You can report that they were feeding him babyfood when he was only 4 and most doctors recommend 6 months, and report this current requiring solids and feeding them to him without your permission. It sounds like a very bad situation and you need to get him out of there now and put him in a safer place that will actually let you be involved in the development and growth of your child.

Hi R.,
I actually work at a five star preschool, and I have NEVER heard of such bologna! I am appauled at
the statement from your provider. Each child developes at their own pace! We actually have children who are ages 12-18 months, and are still eating baby food. Do NOT let them tell you how to raise your child. I'm not sure where you reside, but I would be happy to assist you in finding a reasonable facility.

HELLO GOOD MOMMY....I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT A STATE HAS THE RIGHT TO TELL YOU THE MOTHER WHAT IS BEST FOR HIM.. YOU KNOW BEST AND WHAT YOU FEEL IS IN LINE. YOU ARE IN NO WAY OR SHOULD YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING YOU FEEL IS NOT RIGHT. MAY I ASK A QUESTION?
THE REASON THE STATE IS IN THIS IS BECAUSE THEY PAY YOUR DAYCARE? IF YOU WOULD RATHER WRITE ME AT MY E-MAIL IT IS ____@____.com I HAVE WORKED DAY CARE IN HOME FOR MANY YEARS..ALSO HAD 3 KIDS 3 GRANDKIDS AND TAKEN CARE OF SPECIAL NEEDS KIDS. NO ONE CHILD HAS EVER BEEN THE SAME AT ALL AND EVERYONE BEEN DIFFERENT.
I AM NOW TRYING TO FIND ONE TO KEEP AT A REAL NICE LOW RATE BUT 1 TO 1 IN MY HOME. DAYCARES ARE GREAT FOR SOME BABIES BUT OTHERS NO WAY.
WELL THAT IS MY INPUT
BLESS YOU

I would check into that "state law" myself if I were you. I didn't think the daycare could go against anything a parent specifically tells them to do unless it's hurting the child. If it turns out the state actually has a daycare law like that, you may just want to get the dr's note. I'd also check with the dr to see if it's still healthy for him to not be on solids----if so, then he/she should have no problem writing you a note saying so.

FIND A NEW DAYCARE. I dare say that ANYONE would EVER feed my child something that I do not approve. LEAVE THAT DAYCARE NOW! Save your child from these idiots.

No indeed you are not wrong here...they are! That isn't right, I never heard of a place where they had to feed a child something by law! Seems like someting isn't right about that place. Have you notified anyone over this yet or checked out different daycares around your area? You are right, every child learns and grows differently they need to respect that!!

M. from Tupelo, MS
Mother of 2

Check into the supposed "rules" because I have never heard of that. When my son was about 7months old his daycare started feeding him solid foods like ground up hamburger and when they refused to stop I reported them and by the time the investigation was over the state had pulled their funding from them. It's your child and he should be fed the way YOU want hime to be. I totally understand what a nightmare the wrong daycare can be.

If it was me I would ask them to show me where they have to feed my son thisand if they can then ask them to please stop he is your child and no one elses to tell you what you should be doing to him.
J. (harvest)

R.,
You absolutely need to report this daycare to the DSS. NO ONE has the right to tell you when and what to feed your child. You and the pediatrician are the only two who should be involved in his care and feeding. Your son could have experienced an allergic reaction. This is why foods are introduced at home, with a parent's guidance. There are other infants in your son's class and the day care workers cannot pay attention to him the way he needs be when trying new foods. It was very disrespectful of the daycare to give him those foods even after you specifcally asked them not to. My advice is to find a new daycare and investigate this matter. I would imagine that the "state" would not have guidlines that allow daycare workers to disregard your wishes and feed children based on their convenience. Good luck!

R.,

My oldest boy now 9 was on table food (certain) at 6 months. Even though your child doesnt have any teeth he can surely have the crackers. They will not hurt him. If you are afraid that he is going to choke you can break the crackers up into small pieces. As far as the babyfood at 4months I am sure he was ready. Even though your child seems behind in some things it is not going to benefit to hold him back in other areas that he may beable to handle at his age. My youngest didnt situp until 6 months and didnt crawl until 11 months. Both my children were delayed in one area or more but I encouraged the areas that I knew that they were not having problems. Feel free to contact me on this issue. I can see your point but I also see the daycares point on it.

Public Safety Officer
K.Thielen
____@____.com

May I ask what daycare this was?

i would tell the daycare to kiss off! Who are they to tell you what you have to do as a mother. AND then they did it without your consent anyway. I would be running out of that daycare with my kid in arms!

Did you actually check to see if there are any state guidelines or laws stating this? Sounds like your daycare is full of *something* I would 1) report them and 2) switch. Most likely they want you to allow your child to have crackers b/c when they have all the other older infants eating crackers they can stick your child in a seat and distract him with finger foods too, so much easier for them. Just like they probably thought giving him cereal at 4 mo would make them not have to give him bottles as often. The AAP recommends starting solids at 4-6 months and says some are not ready until 6 months, I don't think a state would go against the AAP which is why I am doubting the "requirement"

I think they are full of shit...no one can tell you what to feed your baby not the state not anyone...think of it liek this the state cant tell vegetarians to eat meat right? thats just a small example....my advice find a different daycare that goes by what you want not what they say....its your child you make the decisions! good luck...ps what day care? dont want to take my kids there....

I am sorry but I think I would start looking for a new daycare. That is just crazy.

They do not "have" to do anything. Is this the Daycare director that you are talking to? Is this a chain daycare center. Can you call a corporate office to ask about this?

You are the mother of the child and I belive that you know when your child is ready for those things. Take him to the Docs to see if there is something he can do. Tell him how you are worried about him and that the Day Care is telling you they "have to" do it while he is there. See what the Doc says about that. I mean I know there are something you should do but i dont'think they say that they "Have to" do something at a time. No Docs useally give you a time fram of like between this and this month.. Like the bottle feeding I didn't take my son off of it till he was ready. Kids are all different and no one needs to say your child "have/has to" do anything. They will let you know on there own. I belive

I am a former daycare worker in the age group you child is,What is probably going on here is they are funded by the stsate food program.
much like the free lunch in schools.The state gives the center forms that must be filled out daily for each child in the class.It does show all of the :recomended"servings of foods for the day if your child does not eat what is on it there is a place for notations in the diet.I would guess that your provider is just being overly careful to show they are giving all that the program pays for and not keeping to the actual purpose of the program.Since you gave them the letter they will probably do better in the future.But if they are responsible they will do as you ask in the future.Just tell them,in writing,that they must consult you befors intrducing any new foods to your child they will be covered that way if the "state"asks them.

WOW! That's scary, I am a SAHM and our oldest is in middle school. The State regulates the lunch menu (a lot of kids are obese these days) but you have the option to send in bag lunch if you don't want cafeteria. So "IF" the State is regulating daycares I can't see them forcing such strict rules. Your daycare is out there not you. Our youngest is 1 1/2 yrs old and she has yet to have a saltine, she just had her first goldfish last month, thanks to her 3 yr old twin brothers. AAHH the joy of sharing! LOL! We do alot of cheerios and Gerber Puffs. They both melt with baby saliva, which is reassuring. If your not able to switch daycares, I suggest sending in cheerios or some baby "crackers". Let them know that is the only thing your baby can handle. I am sure Ped will write a note, just keep a copy for yourself, in case they say you didn't give it to them. I wish you the best of luck!

I am reminded of Hillary Clinton here "it takes a village to raise a child!!" Bull schnit :-) I think it is time you find another daycare.

I have never heard of such a thing!
It sounds totally crazy -not to mention disrespectul to you - that the daycare centre does not listen to your wishes!

Get him out of there!

I would suspect they are telling you about those "MUST" and "HAVE TO", purely because it makes things easier for them if all children are on the same routine!!!

Did they actually give him baby food without your consent when he was 4 months old? This to me seems to be against the law!!

All the best for finding a better, caring centre for your little boy!

Hi R..
Wow! That sounds like a bunch of bull to me. I can't believe that any state would tell a daycare when kids need to be eating what. I would contact your state's Dept of Health and Education or Dept of Social Services and ask them about this. If it's not state mandated, then I would try to move your son to another daycare because they obviously don't care about your son's uniqueness, or his safety (if he's not ready to swallow solid foods, do you really want them shoving crackers down his throat?). Understanding that this may not be an option, at least notify whichever Dept you called that some daycares are making claims that this is state mandated and let them weed it out from there.
Good Luck.
N.

Ok that is wrong. No one should tell you when your child should do anything. A doctor might tell you when your child is ready for things and when the child should be doing some things but no one would ever tell you they have to. Especailly a daycare! It's not up to the daycare what he eats. I told my daughters what she could and couldn't eat and they respected that. It's not up to the daycare, they are not doctors. In fact if you told them before hand no crackers and they did it anyway, I would report them. Call another daycare and ask another daycare about what they said. And I might consider switching daycares if thats an option. But that is ridiculous! Its up to the mother what her child eats and when her child is ready. I'm surprized anyone said a 4 month old should eat baby food. The doctor told me at 4 months my daughters should just have baby cereal. My daughters didn't eat baby food til 6 months. They didn't start on crackers til they were almost 1. We started with cheerios first. I'm just shocked that a daycare would tell you that you had to start him on crackers. I would tell that daycare that it's not up to them what your child eats and they need to respect you and your child. But definatly call another daycare and just ask them in passing if they make the children there eat crackers at 9 months and if they have to. If you tell that daycare not to they need to respect that and if not then I would report them. So no they should not be telling you what to do, I mean your the mom.

THIS IS AN EDIT - HERE'S THE ACTUAL GUIDELINES FROM THE STATE:

0902 GENERAL NUTRITION REQUIREMENTS FOR INFANTS

(a) The parent or health care provider of each child under 15 months of age shall provide the center an individual written feeding schedule for the child. This schedule must be followed at the center. This schedule must include the child's name, be signed by the parent or health care provider, and be dated when received by the center. Each infant's schedule shall be modified in consultation with the child's parent and/ or health care provider, to reflect changes in the child's needs as he or she develops. The feeding instructions for each infant shall be posted for quick reference by the caregivers, except in centers licensed for three to 12 children located in a residence.

(b) Each infant will be held for bottle feeding until able to to hold his or her own bottle. Bottles will not be propped. Each child will be held or placed in feeding chairs or other age-appropriate seating apparatus to be fed.

http://www.daycare.com/northcarolina/state9.html

PLEASE DO SOMETHING AND KEEP US UPDATED.

I think you need to find a new daycare. It sounds like they want ot fill him up on food that will satify him long so they can feed him less often, rather then caring for him as he needs. (They feed him baby food at 4 months and now crackers as 9 months).
First of all a 9 month old should not be eating Ritz and Saltine crackers! Talk to other daycares and find out what their practices are? Also, call the state and report the daycare. I have never heard of a state requiring 9 months old to eat crackers. A balanced diet yes. I don't know too many balanced diets that require crackers. And breast milk and formula are balanced diets.