okay, this is going to sound wrong probably, but simply put, i want to know if i have dodged the terrible twos! does that even happen? my son is 26 months. we had a rough few weeks, oh, i'd say over the summer (can't really remember when), that would have been about the 21-23 month stage. hissy fits, anger issues, insistence on doing things HIS way (i actually watched him throw down because he wanted a RED cup, only i didn't understand what he was saying for a few moments. you'd have thought the world was ending!) another big thing for him is getting his OWN crackers out of the sleeve. instant fit if i try to hand him one. (easily avoided though...i'm NOT going to start a fight over whether or not i get to hand him his cracker)
anyway, it was also a summer of a lot of stress and upheaval for our family. now we're through it, and we've also seemed to come through the rough patch with my son. when he started acting like that, we did a lot of ignoring the fits (i would tell him, it's fine that you're mad, but mommy doesn't need to hear you screaming, and then i'd walk away). we did do time outs which seemed about 90% effective, and i did do a lot of redirecting, and changing of the subject. he has a great vocabulary which i think is the main reason for his good behavior - we rarely have communication issues these days.
so basically, now here he is 26 months old and for all intents and purposes, WAY better behaved than i ever thought a two year old could be! we actually got through this entire weekend with NO meltdowns. none! he did have a rough evening last night, but i chalked it up to "the mondays" - it often happens on mondays, after having go back to the sitter, etc...i get grouchy too. basically at this point, we're only doing timeouts, MAYBE once a week. and that is because our "warnings" are doing the trick. really, as long as he is fed and has enough sleep, and enough to keep him occupied so he doesn't get bored, we have no problems on a normal day. anyway, i'm wondering when the other shoe will fall. i have heard that the three's are worse than the two's - is that true?
is it possible (the optimist in me just wants to cling to the hope!) that we've passed the terrible toddler stage behind?????????? does that even happen????
MY oldest who is now 4 was never bad at age 2 or 3. She was also a good girl, and listened .... I thought kids were easy ..... lol .... well now she is 4 and she is rude, yells at me ALL the time, hits, kicks, talks back .... just awful. I dont know how to handle her at all. My 1 year old little girl listens to me with everything. Kids should come with a manual :) Good luck ! ! !
It sounds like he is doing great! But I have to say, my daughter never went threw the terrible twos. Terrible threes is a different story, whew! I dont know if boys go through this but my daughter is sassy and its like she just learned to disobey me. When she was two she just listened but now she wants to test me with everything. Some of her fits are like nothing Iv seen. Again, I dont know if its just a girl thing but I think right now (at 3 y/o) this has been the toughest age so far. Ha so far, wait til shes a teenager! But I am a very big believer in naps and getting enough sleep. Keep a routine, make sure he takes a nap. Most of my daughters meltdowns are from lack of sleep. She taps a nap religiously ____@____.com we have something to do or somewhere to go and she doesnt get a nap, its like walking on egg shells around her....whew again! But somedays she surprises me and does great! Good luck!
From my experience, three is much worse than two. I enjoyed my children when they were two. They were starting to develop their personalities and independence, but were still fairly easy to manage. Three is a whole different ballpark. I hope it's different for you, but most of my friends have had the same experience. We call them "threenagers"! LOL
I, too, thought we had dodged the terrible two's but my, oh my, did I get proven wrong. Emme will be 3 in March and is so beyond frustrating I end up in tears most days. I'll admit, I'm not one to handle stress very well but at the same time, she's become so disobedient and openly defiant. I don't tolerate that kind of stuff so we try with all we have to nip it in the bud but I won't lie, I think it's just around the bend... :(
I have to agree with the other moms. My daughter will be 3 in a month. Just recently, she has become defiant, yelling, talking back. It's so frustrating that all I want to do is scream. She was great in the 2's until the last month or so. We'll see how 3s go.
I always say that the person that coined the phrase "terrible twos" simply didn't have a 3 year old yet. 3 is a hard age for me because I simply won't tolerate defiance.
Carrie, it sounds like you are very patient and you will do well in any stage if you stay that way. I could NEVER allow a child to get away with being angry over the color of their glass and I don't allow children to touch food in my kitchen unless it's on their plate. These are just my quirks. I insist on kids keeping their emotions in check or they can go and have their meltdown in private in their bed, room, crib, whatever.
In general I think it's ok to be accommodating with our children to avoid fits. But I have a big problem with doing this coupled with re-direction and I'll tell you why. When a child hits around age 5-8, leaning towards 8 but some start way early, they decide that it's our job to negotiate with them on every front. I consider myself a fairly strict mom. And it boggles my mind when my girls all hit this point where they thought they had to say something in response to EVERYTHING I say, negotiate something different from whatever I want and in general just be contrary. It's EXHAUSTING! You think you have issues now. I always wonder if I set myself up for this behavior at times when I just wanted to avoid struggles so I did negotiate with them or switch up gears all together to avoid conflict.
Anyway, enjoy the ride. I think your little one is at the most uncomplicated time of his life and it will CHANGE!
Suzi
I hate to say it, but it will come. You are not exempt, and if you are, it'll be a miracle from God. I wish you luck because it's not easy. My daughter is 2 1/2 now and fights me on EVERYTHING. She's got attitude and sass. Her favorite phrase is, "NO, I DON'T!" (Even if it doesn't apply exactly... she is 2 after all) She fights me EVERY morning to get her clothes on and to get out the door. It's also been fun chasing her around the car when I need to get to work in the morning. Fun times... Sorry to be a downer, but my coworkers and friends with older kids told me just today that SOMEDAY I can look back and laugh at these times. I look forward to those days, but I also cherish these times because she is changing so much and becoming a little person now. It's not all bad, of course. :) I'm going to look into some books about how to handle toddlers because nothing seems to work - so maybe before it starts getting worse, you should too. Good luck!
Store up your patience now. Two's aren't bad at all. Three's are!
I know that a child can go through the terribles at any age, so I wanted to recommend a book to you if you ever hit that stage. I read love and logic for early childhood when my daughter hit the terribles and it made a noticeable diffence in about 2 weeks.
