Thinking of Baby #3 - Marlborough,MA

Updated on November 13, 2008
J.E. asks from Marlborough, MA
12 answers

Hi Moms,

I've always received great responses when posting so here goes:

I have an almost 6 year old and an almost 2 year old. I've been thinking a lot lately of how I would love to add another child to our family. I am a stay at home mom and enjoy it thoroughly. Although it's challenging at times, it's the most rewarding "job" I've ever done! I want to know your thoughts, pros/cons, experiences with adding another child. I know the obvious things such as it's costly etc. But if moms of 3 kids or more could let me know what they deal with or how they feel now having more than 2 children, that would be great. :)

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much for all of your great/honest responses. My husband and I decided that we are going to wait till January to start trying to expand our family (great way to bring in the New Year) :) I appreciate all of your feedback.
I am from a big family (6) total and I am happy to have my sisters and brothers and it's always a great time when we get together and I know that my kids will feel the same and be glad they'll have one another.

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A.S.

answers from Providence on

Can you Handle having one at a sport in CT, one at a totally different sport across town, and one at dance all at the same time. More importantly do you have the support system in place to handle such craziness? That was a friend of mine a year ago. If the answer is yheas, go for it.

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L.L.

answers from Boston on

I just have one 18 mo. old w/ no. 2 on the way so I'm not the ideal candidate to post, but I say go for it!! We plan on potentially having 3 and are thinking once our oldest goes to school might be a good time. It sounds like your girls are a good distance apart and the timing is good for #3.

I've met a number of older moms who have only two kids who wished they had had a third, but are either past the age where they want to have kids or are in a completely different groove with life with their older kids and it no longer makes sense. I think if you feel like you'd like three you may not feel "complete" until you have the third!

I have a couple of friends who have 3 kids and life is crazy,but they wouldn't have it any other way!

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R.M.

answers from New London on

For me going from one baby to two was very hard. But when number three arrived he just seemed to slid into the family and I wasnt stressed. He was not an easy baby either. He didnt like to be held or touched. He hated water with firey passion (he loves it now with the same passion he's 8) he was very sick and didnt gain weight and cried all the time. That may noit be a great picture to apint for you but I want stressed out I was so much more relaxed when he arrived. And number 4 was a piece of cake.....lol

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M.F.

answers from Pittsfield on

I say go for it! I have three and would have more but sadly thats not possible. My oldest sister has 3, the second oldest has 4, I have 3, my brother has 4. We always say "the more, the merrier" and its so true. When we get together its the best fun ever! its a party every time, even if its not a holiday or birthday. Yes it gets loud and messy but who cares? Also, theres less fighting/ arguing when there's more people to choose who to play with.

personally the kids love each other so much and are very close. They are each others' best friend. I wouldn't change that for the world.

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M.B.

answers from Hartford on

J.,
I have a 5y, 2&1/2y & 6mon old. I have found having 3 is more of a juggling act. You have to plan more for anything. I wouldn't change it for the world and hope for 1 more. I have been told even numbers are better than odd, the children can pair up & no one feels left out, but if 3 is all we have, I'm glad. The first 3 months were the toughest, dealing with feeling pulled in so many directions, but it is better, even fun now!
Good Luck with your decision.

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K.J.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.,
I'm the mother of three; they are 14, 4, and 2. So first of all know that everything happens in its time and exactly as it's supposed to happen :). I've found motherhood to be among the most challenging and the most rewarding jobs I've ever had. Each child adds, brings, and gives something different and special to you and to the family. I don't remember my life before my husband and kids and can't imagine my life without any of them. As has already been pointed out, the size of your family is such an individual choice but I am certain that you and your husband will know when your family is complete. That being said, how does your husband feel about having another baby right now? Being a mother is likely one of the most "selfless" positions we hold in this world. So be prepared to become more selfless with each child but the benefit far outweighs the sacrifice. Continue to enjoy your children and this journey!

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M.B.

answers from Hartford on

My three kids are ages 9, 6, and 1. We also just found out we are expecting number 4 in April which was not planned. But anyways, the older two have been great with the baby. They love him they play with him. It actually wasn't all that hard to add the 3rd. I'm not too sure about the 4th. Although, I figure now my son will have someone close to his age to play with at least.

M.

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R.G.

answers from Boston on

Hi J. - I posted a similiar question when I found out I was expecting # 3 (not planned). The feedback I got was very positive. All the moms told me how as the children grew they would form close relationships and play together. However I can tell you right now I am in the thick of the chaos with an 8 year old, two year old, and 4 month old and it SUCKS!!! There is no rhyme or reason to my day. Any type of schedule or routine gets tossed out since there is always some calamity happening. My house is a disaster, I haven't showered in days, and I haven't slept in months. Someone always wants me around the clock 24/7. I feel guilty for not having enough time to spend with each child individually and I can't remember the last time my husband and I had a real conversation. I am not saying don't have a 3rd, just be prepared for the first year or so to be insane. I hear after that it gets much better (fingers crossed). Good Luck!

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E.P.

answers from Providence on

Hi J.,

We have 4 children, with the oldest age 6. They're all less than 2 years apart. While it's sometimes chaotic and crazy, we are very happy with our group. It's such an individual choice, but adding another little one to your family has so many positives. Our older three just adore their little brother, and I love watching them help feed him, pick out his clothes, play with him, etc. Having kids close together does result in some bickering, and for me that's the hardest thing to deal with, but they're also so close and get along pretty well. As far as expenses go, we've been able to hand down so many things, and get lots of "gently used" clothes from friends, so besides the cost of food, we haven't noticed much of an increase in the household expenses. The first 6 months after a baby is, of course, somewhat exhausting, but it does settle down.

It's hard to know what would be the right thing for you to do, since each family is so different, but I've found that having a number of kids is, overall, a wonderful thing.

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H.L.

answers from Boston on

I'm in the same situation. I have SAHM of twin boys 4 years old and I'm wanting another child. Not sure still, if this is what I really want to do. I'm interested to see what responses you get.

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J.Z.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.,
I have 4 kids. A 7 year old boy, 5 year old boy, 3 year old boy, and a 6 month old girl. I have always felt that the transition from one to two was the most difficult. Two to three was easy and three to four was even easier, believe it or not! People always say that they don't know how we do it with four, but you have to remember as you have each child the older ones get older. My oldest will be 8 next month and he can really be a huge help. It's really not as bad as people think.
Each child of ours is so different and that is what makes it so nice. I love having a big family. Don't get me wrong, it can be complete chaos around here sometimes but that is our life and I wouldn't change it for the world. When you really think about it family is what life is all about. I grew up with three older brothers. My parents had nothing but we always managed to do just fine. I have such happy memories of growing up with a big family and I really believe that is why I decided to also go that route. It is a very personal decision so I can only speak for myself, but in my opinion you won't regret it :)

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E.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.! My children are 14, 12 and 8. Get ready to "play zone", you'll be out-numbered but not out-ranked! I used to tell the kids, we have five people just like we have five fingers and it works better that way. Really though, it's flippin' chaos sometimes. You've got to have a REALLY good sense of humor, and low housekeeping standards....
Ha! Ha! Ha!

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