Thinking Seriously About Divorce. Need Advice

1) Since both of you live in the State of Virginia you will have to be seperated for an entire year before you can file for divorce.
2) He's active duty. You have the legal office like the other woman said, you also have fleet and family support, and you also have his chain of command. I don't always recommend going to his command, but since you are sure you want a divorce - why not, right?
3) If you have been working durring the marriage, and how long you two have been married while he has been in the Navy, and his rank will determine your child suuport, etc. (example - you two got married and worked up until a year ago - the court could say well you didn't have a problem working then you won't have a problem now) Someone that hasn't worked in years and has got accustom to being a stay at home mom will most likely be awarded more money than a wife that has worked.
4) If you are living in base housing they can tell you to get out. The military can make him leave until you have found a new place, but you will not be able to stay there for every long.

Best advice go on base and start talking to who ever you can. I've been a Navy wife for a while now, and have been in that position. Thankfully we were able to work things out, but you could always stay married, get the benefits of the military: NEX, commissary, and medical. Still take most of his money, work if you want, kick him out and tell him to move in with a friend, and have the comfort of knowing that the most expensive things are taken care of for BOTH OF YOU not just your daughter.

E., my heart goes out to you. Divorce is one of the hardest things you will ever go through. Please consider going to counseling with your husband (free at the Fleet and Family Service Center - 444-NAVY ) prior to making any decisions regarding lawyers, separations, and so on. Also, one of the other responders to your email stated that your husband will have to give you 2/3rds of his pay. This is wrong, wrong, wrong. It is "Suggested" that in absence of a divorce decree or other legal documents, that the service member pay 2/3rds of his/her pay (percentage depends of how many childern there are). The Navy cannot "force" the member to pay support unless there is a court order. Divorce is a civil matter and the Navy does not get involved in civil matters unless court orders are broken. I highly recommend that you visit the Navy Legal Service Office ###-###-####)for advice regarding child and spousal support and VA divorce laws. You can also Google tons of information regarding VA divorce laws, child support percentages, and spousal support.

Go talk to Navy legal. It is free legal advice. Also, as long as you are married, if you separate, you will get 2/3 of his paycheck. Navy legal should be able to talk you through everything, but you would still have to get a regular lawyer after that.

I decided to get a divorce a couple weeks ago and went to see an attorney for advice. The consultation was $275 and that is her hourly rate. She sent me a 20 page document to fill out before the consultation. It's a lot of work but all things that needs to be done anyway (mostly monetary accounting). She quickly gave me an idea of how much I could expect to ask for.

It would be good to know if your husband will contest the divorce or not. This attorney's retainer for a separation agreement (not contested) is $1,500. If both sides get an attorney and fight, her retainer fee is $5,000. You can also find agreements online as well as other information about getting divorced in Virginia.

You can get your own attorney or you can go to one together. If you go to one together that attorney cannot represent either party if it becomes a contested divorce.

The attorney I'm going to is Michelle McCracken. You can ask for other referrals or do research online. I found mine through lawyers.com. I like her very much but I don't consider her to be a "touchy/feely" sort of person. If my husband decides he wants to fight I feel like I'd have great representation. I hope I don't need it. The way I look at it is that I will pray for the best and prepare for the worst.