This Article Broke My Heart!

At least an article like this is available for teens today. Please share it with your teens. It might help make the difference for someone in pain. It is so important for kids like this to find someone outside their home with whom they can learn essential life skills. I was way not prepared when I left home. My parents divorced when I was 7. My mother and her family argued so much. Everyone around me was so caught up in their own pain and health problems, that I was left to take care of myself most of the time. Fortunately, I had a teacher who helped me find a full scholarship, and a few good friends with more stable families than mine was. Even now, I can see how much my unstable home when I was a kid has caused me to think about the world. After years of searching for the love I so wanted, finding God truly has turned my life around. If you know a kid like this, reach out to them. You truly could make all the difference.

It is heartbreaking, Mom. Thanks for the reminder...

Dawn

Wow. Thank you so much for posting this. This is heartbreaking and brings me to tears. It is a great reminder to make sure no matter the circumstance that we all watch what we say and do to our children and the people around us.

Simple, pure kindness goes a long way and should be practiced constantly. I don't want my kids or any kid for that matter to ever, ever feel this way.

Unfortunately, some people just shouldn't be parents!

As I read the article a tear came out...those words sound so familiar. My dad has never been able to express love. He has been capable of love just not knowing how to express it. As a child he would call my oldest sister and self bad words and names, we were never good enough for his standards. As kids we had really good grades, made honor roll and student of the month quite a few times. I decided to go to college and he didn't understand why that was a good thing. He didn't get it!!! For many years I just simply believed he was a miserable guy who was always unhappy and that's who he was.
Until recent events, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer (she's now cancer free going into reconstruction), his father passed away (my grandfather) and now I am going through a divorce...because of these events he is still learning (I think) how to express a feeling that for so many years he denied or did not know what to do with. The way my dad was raised was cruel and I am not trying to excuse his behavior but rather see that he didn't know any better. He had to work for a living to help his parents and this was the only “love” acceptance he would get from them. By bringing in money to help out the house and care for the rest of his siblings. Now that I am going thought a divorce and my soon to be ex can’t see our son, my dad has been that father figure for my son. He tells him he loves him and does everything for my son. My dad is doing things he never did with his own children, and I see how he loves it when my son falls asleep in his arms. Those little things he is learning from my son and they both love spending time together.
I don’t mean to make this long but I can now say that I’ve been on both sides and there is more to it than just those awful words. I don’t excuse what my dad did but I now understand better where he was coming from. Sometimes, adults carry issues from their childhood.

My SS once came to us and said, "Thanks for not being like other people's parents." We get disappointed and sometimes there are raised voices, but we never had knock-down drag-out fights with the sks, even as teenagers. SS's friends would say, "I just had a huge fight with my folks...you know how that goes." SS would say no. Now, that's not to say that we couldn't have done better in some areas, or that his mom didn't use other things to make him feel badly (she withholds love as a punishment) but I'm glad that we have a calmer home than the one I grew up in. My mom did the best she could with no support from her ex, her depression, and no money. But it was tough. I swore that I would change that for my own kids. It's also why we encouraged some of the kids' friends to come and hang out here. Broke my heart when SS's best friend loved our dinners so much because his family never sat down. He always had to make his own food and always ate alone. Family dinner on a regular day was unheard of. His parents were not attentive or loving.

Yes, kids don't always see it the way you do (SD used to tell people we were mean about her hair when we just asked her to brush it) but sometimes there is more hurt than comes from a misunderstanding.