Throwing a Party When You Have Food Allergies

No you are not wrong. There are a lot of great desserts you can make that dont use eggs. Plus if they dont know

You are not being selfish at all! You can be certain that no one will be coming to the party with expectations of eating egg-filled dishes and you will probably be the only one knowing that eggs were left off the menu. Don't risk getting sick when there are so many things that you can make without using eggs- including dessert.

Good luck with the party!

I don't think it matters as long as it taste good! I have Celiac and for Thanksgiving everything was gluten free! I did test out all the recipes ahead of time because I know some gluten free foods are not that great. The only reason anyone knew about it was because of my husband being a jerk about it. Everyone said the food was great and many had seconds and third helpings of desserts.
We cook eggfree all the time because my daughter is vegan. Doesn't usually make that much of a difference. Have fun!

You are the hostess and you can do whatever you freakin well please. Your brother is the guest of honor and he supports you and cares for you in an egg free way (LOL).

Your mother needs to get over herself. Seriously, SELFISH for not having stuff with eggs in it? They're not moving in with you, they're coming to a party. I like chocolate, but if someone was throwing a party for me and they were allergic to it, I wouldn't expect them to have it for me - especially if I'm not the guest of honor. And if I were the guest of honor, I wouldn't want the hostess to have an allergy attack while throwing a party for me!

"Mother, I am the host so I will serve the dishes that I decide to serve. I am not asking that you bring anything to the party, so this is hardly an imposition on you. Quite frankly, if I hadn't mentioned it, you probably would have never realized that the meal was egg free."
I too have an egg alergy and become very ill after eating them. My mom also thinks its all in my head. She swears I never had the allergy when i was a kid, and even when I remind her egg-induced projectile-vomitting incidents when I was a kid, know what she says? It was all in my head back then too. I forced myself to projectile vomit because i was being difficult. Yep.
I've offered to have her over and observe me eat an egg and then hang around for the next 48 hours while I vomit, have painful stomach cramps, and diarhea. Again, i'm sho'ed off for just wanting to be difficult. I've been sick all of about 10 days in 40 years, yet i'm trying to be difficult. Yep.

I think there's probably a ton of stuff we eat every day without eggs, right? Pulled pork, meatballs & sauce, steak on the grill, hamburgers, green salad, fresh fruit. Who would notice? Now, for the cake, if it's good, would anyone notice it's egg-free?

I think you should make whatever you want.....its not like if you don't use eggs you are limited in your choices. I am sure there are many great foods that you will have there...and you can eat. It is generous for you to make a dessert with eggs in it, but I don't think it is necessary.

I am often in the same boat. My 3 year old has life threatening allergies to egg, nuts (all) and to a lesser degree dairy. People know no nuts of any kind cross our threshold. We don't use eggs at all, but when I make something that requires it, I use flax seed (1 tbsp flax 3 tbsp) water. Makes a great binder in cakes, cookies and no one is the wiser.

You are hosting in your house, your brother is fine with it. I think you are making the right decision. No fun to have a party lead to a trip to the er. Too bad your mom doesn't take it seriously. I'm surprised often by how lightly people take food allergies or that it's all in your head. Those people have not witnessed a reaction and don't live with the fear of another.

Try the flax seed with at least one dessert and see if anyone notices.

Nope. I think you're hosting and you can make whatever you like, allergies or not, just like anyone else would, with the exception of a birthday cake or whatever treat for your brother, should it "need" to contain eggs.

I would make main dishes that don't traditionally have eggs anyway, since most main dishes do not.

;)
M.
www.chickiepea.wordpress.com (my food blog)

If the food is still good then who cares , I bet no-one will even notice , and for 1 party it won't hurt. If your brother is fine with it then go ahead and make an egg free menu , it's good of you to host for a start!

You are hosting so make what you want and invite others to bring something if they really want to. Maybe your mom can make an old family favorite your brother loves. Mark things eggs or no eggs if you want. Making one dessert with eggs is a nice gesture.

One of my cousins has celiac disease multiple food allergies (wheat, dairy, soy, nuts and more). His mom hosts and makes several dishes he can eat including usually 1 dessert. She also makes things he can't eat since he has so many restrictions. He is in high school now and is good about checking what he can eat or bringing his own snacks.

Ask your mother why a food allergy is less serious that someone who needs to take medication daily - as I'm suspecting she might?

It's YOUR party, YOU'RE the hostess, do what you want.

The one who's being selfish if your mother. If she doesn't want to help you, then she doesn't have to come. And she can keep her comments to herself.

IMHO - I have felt it necessary to adjust my menu for friends with food restrictions. And I now have a child with food allergies. I don't think it's anyone's responsibility to adjust their menu for us when we come over. I would happily bring what we need or eat what we can. And when people come to our house for a party, I would expect the same of them. To appreciate a gracious hostess no matter what she's serving.

No you are not out of line at all. A friend who has allergies to tree nuts would never, ever serve a dish with nuts at her home. To expect a host to put his or her own health and comfort at risk when there are other alternatives available is insane. I wouldn't know if a dish did or didn't contain eggs and I'm sure there are many delicious things that you can serve and your guests will not miss the eggs. Please ignore your mother on this one!

Who cares? Your defiantly not being selfish by doing this. You are graciously hosting this party so why shouldnt you be able to enjoy the food too? Its not as if you just dont like eggs, you have an allergy! So I would make almost everything egg free, like they would even be able to notice anyways, no one is going to come up to you and make sure there are eggs in it lol. I would make the food how I like it, and tough for everyone else.

As someone who is also allergic to eggs (and have been since I was a kid), I completely understand! I can eat eggs if the are a well mixed ingredient (as in cakes), but not if you can tell it's an egg, so I don't have to be as careful for lunch and dinner dishes as I do for breakfast.
The only way you are being "selfish" by having an allergen free menu is if you are eliminating something that is your brother's favorite. As the party host (and the person preparing the food) you have the right to determine the menu as you see fit.
I personally find it hurtful when people who know I have a strong allergic reaction to eggs ask me to prepare a food that I will not be able to eat for a group gathering.

I can not help but wonder... Are you going to put signs out that announce each item that is "egg-free"?

This whole situation sounds ridiculous to me - more likely than not, the guests will not even notice.

You have been very nice in discussing the menu with your Mom but I probably would have skipped that step myself. I would have simply told her you reviewed it with your brother, the guest of honor, and you are confident that there are plenty of options for everyone who will be attending to eat well and enjoy themselves. That said, she is welcome to bring any additional dishes she would like to bring in order to help celebrate the occassion.

Nice, simple and sweet. Done.

Good luck.
~C.

I agree with the PP-not sure why you are even telling people this. There are so many dinner foods without eggs....seriously I am trying to think of ones "with" eggs and struggling. Desserts are another story- many do have eggs in them but you already said that you are giving an option. I would not mention it again to anybody. Making a big deal about it is kind of making it about you.

My kids have food allergies and when I throw a party, I always make sure there is plenty of food for them.

Your house, your rules. :)

No, I don't think that you are being selfish, and frankly I'd be surprised if most people even realized or knew, unless it was specifically mentioned.

If your brother is okay with it--and it sure sounds like he is--then it's really none of your mom's business..... Of course that might not stop her from commenting (or having an opinion). But if you can get the official OK from your brother, then you have some ammo to tell her that the decision has been made the guest of honor is okay with it, and since its his party, the discussion is over. :)

I have nut allergies. I don't cook with nuts at all and many, many desserts and {{{gasp}}} cakes are made with nuts but no one complains that I'm forcing people to eat cookies and brownies without walnuts or that I'm not serving cake layered with pistachio pudding next to rocky road ice cream.

One of my daughters is lactose intolerant (intolerant to milk sugars). When we have company I don't serve anything with lactose.

Trust me, it's not a hardship for people to have an afternoon as guests in your home enjoying food you've provided to them for free. It would be in extremely poor taste for anyone to complain that you provided an egg-free menu. Especially when there are alternatives to classic recipes that are just as delicious and acceptable to the allergen laden ones. Like this one. It's a really good sheet cake that is perfect with a simple buttercream icing.

Chocolate Wonder Cake
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 30 minutes
Ingredients:

1 3/4 cup sifted cake flour
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup cocoa
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup shortening
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 tablespoon vinegar
1 cup cold water

Preparation:
Sift dry ingredients together into a mixing bowl. Add remaining ingredients and beat until almost smooth. Pour into a greased and floured 9-inch square baking pan. Bake at 350° for about 30 minutes, or until a wooden pick or cake tester inserted in center comes out clean. Frost cake or serve with whipped topping.

Your mom is an insensitive pain! My daughter has egg, peanut (life-threatening), fish and milk allergies. I have a FABULOUS cake recipe that my mom had long before anyone had food allergies or they were well-publicized (called crazy cake -- egg and milk free) that she got in a cake decorating class back in the 80s. If you want the recipe, PM me and I will send you that and my icing recipe. No one knows my dessert is egg free -- I GUARANTEE. Do what you are comfortable with but it sounds like your brother is an awesome support for you here! Best wishes!

I think it only makes sense. I have a friend with a gluten allergy and so when we get together, I make sure that as many of the dishes as possible are gluten free.

My daughter is allergic to eggs, in fact one of the few she has kept for long (she was allergic to milk and grow out of it) I don't see nothing wrong with what are you doing, in fact I probably wouldn't even notice if I was invited.
Is not like you are invited to somebody (none family) party and tell them they can't have anything with eggs.
You are also right, I am so surprise in how many things have eggs, specially deserts.
Thumbs up for your brother for be so caring.

First of all, I think that you are being totally reasonable.

Secondly, if you don't have the recipe for "wacky cake" google it - the ingredients look crazy, but you would never ever know that it's vegan! Even your mother couldn't tell : )

This is the benefit of hosting the party - you can make anything you want. And unless people are expected deviled eggs, I don't think they're going to notice. I'm sure you know you can substitute things like applesauce and flaxseed for eggs in baked goods. Just make what you want and don't tell your mom what's in them.

Hi--
My kids have all kinds of food allergies and I always do our parties so that they can eat pretty much everything. I did the same as you with the desserts--one without eggs and the rest with. I don't think you're being selfish in any way---most people will have no idea that they aren't eating eggs, and I'm pretty sure that even if they did they wouldn't care. Whether your mother understands your food allergy or not is irrelevant--frankly, this isn't about her. If you're happy and your brother is happy then why does it even matter??? Just my two cents.
Enjoy your party!
J.

I didn't read this before, but I am trying to figure out why your mother is acting this way. Perhaps she really feels like it is her fault somehow and doesn't want to believe you could have an allergy. My brother in law has an allergy to eggs. No big deal. He knows what to pick to eat and it gets worked out.

Absolutely not selfish or unreasonable not to serve food you can't eat in your own house (or on your dime, if the party is not actually in your home:)).
My father is a celiac and I always be sure that he has a large selection of foods he can eat at my house. Especially for parties. At most there is one or two things he can't have at any party I have ever thrown. Celiac disease runs in our family so I remain consistent when I bring dishes to other family events too.
Sorry your mom is not more understanding. It is not at all uncommon for intolerances and allergies to pop up in adulthood. ( my banana and latex allergies did). I would avoid discussing it with your mom best you can. Just serve what you want and try motto engage your mom in a discussion about it. I know you want your own mother to validate your condition but it may be a mooring battle.
Enjoy your party!!

You are totally within your rights to serve whatever you want at a party that you are hosting. And, on top of that, it sounds like you're trying to provide dishes that everyone will enjoy anyhow. I eat mostly vegetarian and my family does not, but I do the same as you're doing here - my house, my food, but at the same time I try to provide foods that I know they'll enjoy. Tell mom to butt out and host her own party if she has a problem with yours.

It's your home and your party - you should do everything egg free, and no one would even know. It's horrible your own Mother would even act that way. I have a daughter who has severe food allergies - egg & peanut - and our house is completely egg & nut free & everyone who comes over knows not to bring anything in our home that has these allergens, and when we go to others houses they accomodate her as well. Don't feel like you are doing anything wrong - it's your health and not something to be taken lightly!

It sounds like you are being a very considerate sister and host. Tell mom to back off.

Pretend some dishes have egg in them and don't eat them. hee! hee! How inconsiderate of your mother. My son has a severe peanut allergy and luckily my family gets it but my inlaws don't. Have a great time at the party!

Being an adult with food allergies ( tree nuts, peanuts, Seafood and fish) I completely understand. I think you are fine to make meals that are egg free. People who don't understand the seriousness of food allergies till they have one. I say go for it. You will be able to provide an interesting menu and people may actually enjoy the egg free foods.

I'm sorry your mother is being so stubborn on this. Unless she has dealt with food allergies, she will probably never understand the problem. Your brother, on the other hand, is wonderfully understanding, making sure the meals you eat at his house are egg-free.

On the cake aspect.. I know you said you have several egg-free cake recipes, so you probably have this one already... Wacky chocolate cake. Egg free, and so much more moist and delicious than a box cake mix! That is the only cake I make anymore, and my family loves it... we don't even bother to ice it.

I wonder if she could tell the difference between that cake and her cake?

If you're the one hosting the party, I see nothing wrong. Do as you've planned to do. You should be able to enjoy it too, especially if you're the hostess. If you weren't the hostess, I would say that yes, you were being pushy. But, a lot of people are becoming more aware of this and will often change the menu planned if a guest has special dietary needs. Also, if you weren't allergic but more along the lines of "I don't like eggs so don't make anything with them" I would say you're being pushy. But with you being allergic to them, it's entirely different. And it seems your brother is on board with it. What does he say about the menu? If he's fine with it, she really has no say.

I generally have never had anyone put their 2 cents in about my menu when inviting others over(my daughter has celiac disease) to our home. I also don't mention it. Did you Mom call and ask what was on the menu? Or did you call her and tell her what you were doing. While you can serve what you want to, if you are the one who called her to specifically tell her you were doing egg free and know she has her own issues with it then you were probably trying to make an issue of her not understanding people with allergies, if not then just let it go because those who don't understand that some people need to eat and not eat certain foods won't get it easily. Serve your dinner and have a great time.

No one will even know if you (or your mom!) don't tell them. I would think the desserts would be the hardest and you already have a plan for making one egg-free dessert and the rest traditional. Have fun creating the menu and throwing your brother a fabulous party for his 30th!

for future reference, we have had many problems with this in our family. My son has a severe dairy allergy. None of my family was very understanding until they started having kids of their own. Now we have dairy and egg free holidays. We have discovered it works much better to have buffet style dinners. For example . . . a taco bar. People can choose to put things on their taco/nachos or not. Everybody brings some of the fixings, and it's agreed upon before hand. At Christmas you simply announce whether your dish has dairy or egg in it. At the parties I throw I make sure everything is dairy/egg/nut free and that there is a vegetarian alternative or option. It sounds harder than it is. If you think about it most kids meals fall under these option. taco bars. chilli cookoffs. sloppy joes and garden burgers. most chinese food. Good luck!

Good for you! My dad is allergic to eggs and so I lived my whole childhood without eggs in anything- even egg free cakes and cookies (gasp)!

And when people can over, NO ONE ever said anything, they were just happy to have delicious food they didn't have to cook themselves. It is your house (and a party you are hosting) and if you want to serve egg free dishes- great! People will eat what they are served... unless they are jerks... in which case they can starve (LOL!). Heck if you wanted to serve vegan food, gluten free food, sugar free diabetic food, or only food that is purple- that is your choice too! In my opinion it is the "cooks choice"- as long as everyone has at least one dish they can eat (for example if there will be 10 vegetarians invited, ya ought have at least one veggie-dish), then you are being a wonderful host!

Your mom sounds like an egg addict (just kidding!) SHE wants/loves eggs... and is trying to make you do what she wants. Tell her that next time SHE throws the party, and she is doing all of the cooking herself, then she is free to serve egg-fried rice, eggs deviled, boiled and fried, and eggs a la mode if she wants- you'll just eat a bunch of mushrooms ahead of time!

Good Luck!
-M.

Do it, but don't make a big deal out of it. Most people wont even know that you did it. When they are guests at your house they don't have a say in what is served! If there are some egg-free and some made with eggs then everyone should be fine.

I have celiac disease - and as it turns out, so do my daughters. My husband is absolutely fine with having a gluten-free household. We don't allow gluten in our house, but we'll serve anyone who comes over fantastic food and they won't miss a thing. If you visit and really need a gluten fix, we'll drop you off at any type of restaurant you want. If we're coming to visit someone else, we bring safe food and offer to share. We don't expect others to accommodate us, and we don't expect others to change their diets when we're around. (Just please don't feed gluten to the baby!)

My extended family includes some members that are pretty nasty about this for some reason. In one fantabulous incident, my aunt accused me of being a "control freak". Um, yeah. This is the same woman who organizes every family function - not out of the goodness of her heart, but so that the time, location, and menu are convenient for HER..... because heaven forbid someone brings something too exotic or spicy!

Hey C. M., do what's best for you! It's your home, and your party...no one will even miss the eggs if it's not brought up that they aren't there (good luck with that, though :-)). My little guy is allergic to eggs, peanuts and tree nuts. We are able to have friends over often and can often serve the same things that others serve at their own houses, just sans allergens. And often, no one can taste a difference!

There are incredible, delicious egg-free recipes out there. I am pretty sure you won't hear, "Wait a minute! Where are the eggs at this party?!" no matter what you serve.

It sounds like your brother is supportive, and that you two have a great relationship. Do what you can to remind your mom that this is a celebration for your brother, not to "show off" your egg allergy.

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this. My mil seems to think my son's allergies are in his head too. That is, she seemed to, until she "accidentally" fed him something with peanuts in it and had to give him Benadryl.

Hang in there, you've got a great community of supporters in us moms here!

I know I'm late answering this but I wanted to put in my two cents :) I have an allergy to wheat/gluten and eggs. I make a lot if not all of our meals with out eggs and a lot of our dinners I will use my gluten-free flour and my family has never said anything. In fact, they prefer some of the gluten-free foods to the "regular" food I used to cook. I'm sure you already know about this but for baking, when I need eggs I use either ground flax-seed or there is this white powder that comes in a box that is an egg replacer, I think it is called Energee or something similar to that. I use that in most of the mixes and recipes I use and everything turns out great! I say if you don't announce the food is egg free then most people will never know the difference. Good Luck!

When someone goes to a party, they have the option of eating or not eating anything they wish but knowing it may not be what they would have had or fixed the way they would have fixed it. The host is not forcing anyone to eat it. If allergies are known then dishes that work for that person is always a good idea (whether it is the host or a guest who has the allergy). As long as the allergy is not just exposure from being in the proximity but rather only through ingestion, there is no reason for ALL the dishes to accommodate but also there is no reason they can't as long as good food is being served. Serving one meal egg-free is not forcing anyone to "live" egg-free.

My guess is if you didn't tell your mother they don't have eggs, she probably wouldn't even know.