Okay so I am home with the kids all day and I run a daycare. I work part time at a drug store. I am trying to lose 140 pounds and I am working at it very hard. SO my question is. Should I feel bad that I am not home every night to put the kids to bed?? 3 nights a week I am working at the drug store and the other two nights I am doing ZUMBA. On the weekends I am also working. I feel bad that I am not home putting them to bed at least 3 nights a week but right now I need to work extra to make ends meet and workout twice a week to lose the weight. I need some advice..... Thanks in advance. J.
Thank You Thank You!! WOW I guess I am okay. I have joined the gym and I have scheduled myself to be there on MOnday and Wednesday nights to do Zumba and Friday during the day to do what ever. My husband is okay with it. We sat down and talked. He understands how much I want tolose this and how I have waited a whole year to join a gym. He knows I am excited about taking this class. He just worries he will never see me. I am still going to be home for dinner and don't leave until 630pm and I would be home by 830. Not bad!!! So he was saying that once I lose the weight he mays ee more of me. LOL But after Christmas things may slow down at work too and I may not be working 5 days. Okay thanks a bunch for all your responses. I know all you mom's out there ROCK!!! YOu always have the best stuff to say!!! THAnks again for your responses. Take care.
J.
Hi J.,
If you are with them all day I think you are all set. You spend plenty of Quality time with them.
You shouldn't feel guilty but as Moms we just do. We put ourselves last all the time. We think that everyone else should be put first whether it's to eat, to get dressed, to bath, etc.
I think that this feeling is to help us protect our children, to always out them first, so we naturally feel guilty when we need time for ourselves.
It sound like you're working SO hard to improve life for your family. SO when you're feeling guilty about not tucking them in at night, think about how you're helping your family by what you're doing.
All the best, J..
J.
By losing weight you are making yourself healthier which in the longrun is the MOST important thing for your kids. You are also setting a great example for them to eat healthy and exercise and take care of your body. If you were out shopping or out with your girlfriends socializing three or four nights a week then I would say that you should cut back, but you are not. Also, by doing daycare you are there for your kids all day and everyday. You need time away!! You are creating a happy healthier you and your kids will benefit greatly from this! Some mom's work five or six nights a week and some work full time days out of their home. Don't look at the time your NOT with them, look at the time that you are with them. We can't all be with our kids 24 hours a day. And really, it's not in our best interest or theirs. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? It also gives us time away to appreciate them that much more. Good for you for losing weight!! Keep going and don't ever feel guilty for what you are doing!! You sound like a great mom who is VERY ambitious! There is NOTHING wrong with that!
don't feel guilty. Good for you, and your kids will be happy to have a healtier you for the rest of their lives.
I work part-time (4 days) and I have a 16 month old daughter. At the beginning of the summer I decided that I needed to get serious about exercising and trying to lose some weight from my pregnancy. So I looked into Curves.
I'm happy to say that I joined in June and have been losing weight and inches. It's only a half hour of your time and allows you to have some time to yourself. It was difficult at first but I got into the routine. The Curves circuit was designed by doctors and it works every muscle in your body. Women of all ages go there. I have been on the Curves Smart program for several months. It adjusts the machine to your needs. It's a great program and enjoyable going there.. meeting other women... talking, laughing, and having a good time. I had exercised before... walking occasionally and doing pilates on a regular basis. Unfortunately I don't have time to work out in the morning so I do it after dinner and on my days off. I work out 2 to 3 times per week. Hope this helps!
I undersatnd your concer, it does seem like you are gone a lot. You do need to spend time on yourself though. Try and make sure you spen time with each of them each week, maybe set aside a family night. I work from home in order to spend time with mine! I could not see putting them in a daycare. It seems like you are there all day with them. I love working from home, my kids especially my son he is 18 months needs me to put him to bed. I nursed all of them too so it was hard. I could get you some info on it if you are interested??
M. - SAHM & WAHM and love it!
Hi J.. It sounds like you are pretty busy. I don't think you should feel guitly that you aren't there to put the kids to bed. You see them all day. It's OK that evening time is daddy time. Your kids are a priority, but so are making ends meet and getting yourself healthy. I think its great that you dedicte 2 days to exercise. I wish I were so dedicated. I work in Ludlow, MA and lots of people come in early so they can run/walk around aour work site which had great private roads, but I choose to sleep late instead. Keep up the good work!
Keep going girl!
As long as your kids are safe they know you love them!
Make "you" a priorty you don't have to put yourself first but you certainly deserve a healthy mind and body and your kids will thank you later when you are able to smile and run and play with them-you are doing a great job! Keep the lines open with your significant other and communicate about the child care-feel good about you!
Hi there,
Boy, I'm tired just hearing your story! It sounds like you are working very hard and you are certainly entitled to have some time to yourself! Someone once put it to me this way. There are about 16 waking hours in the day. If you spend 15 of them taking care of others around you, you can certainly take one hour to take care of yourself! I think a lot of moms, myself included, struggle with this issue too.
Good luck,
A. W.
I couldn't agree more with what Judi and Colleen have said. I think they said it perfectly and I don't really have much more to add, other that just supporting you. By taking care of your health, you ARE doing what is best for them by making sure you'll be around and healthy for a long, long time. Please don't burden yourself with any guilt - you are working so hard already you don't need anymore burdens on yourself. Best of luck and good for you for taking this on!
I haven't read all the responses, but GO FOR IT!
Several reasons:
1) Everyone needs a little me time to maintain balance (I sometimes forget to do this!).
2) This will give your kids a chance to bond with your husband, one-on-one.
3) If your husband ever is the type to wonder why you don't get X, Y, or Z done during the day, while he's gone at work, this will help him get perspective. (Not all men think that way, I know, but some do. : )
4) It provides a great example for your kids of setting a goal and attaining it.
5) Losing the weight will undoubtedly change the foods you have in the house which can benefit everyone.
6) If you make healthy choices now, it will allow them to have Mommy around MANY more years to come!
TOTALLY GO FOR IT! It's awesome your husband is supportive of your decision! Kudos to him as well!
I commend you for working so hard and still be proactive about losing weight. It is so hard to get motivated! Since they see you all day I wouldn't feel guilty about not putting the kids to bed at this point. Taking care of yourself is so important. The kids will learn from watching you that it is important to take care of yourself. And by taking care of yourself you'll be around for them a lot longer. Keep up the good work!!
you should not feel bad at all your working hard and deserve that me time
First off, it is always good to share things with both parents like putting the kids to bed so the kids know both parents are there for them. And second you really are not a stay at home mom you are a mom who runs a business and deserves time off to better yourself for your family and yourself!!! If you do nto take this time you willnot be the person you want to be and the family will suffer with a sad mom who feels she cannot even take time for herself. ;-D
That is awsome that you have a goal and are working towards it. I think no matter what we do away from our kids we feel giulty. But this is not just for you. It's also so they can have a healthy mommy and you are teaching them good habits. You can't change that you feel guilty once in a while. But you have to do something for yourself. It is good for the kids in the long run. If you are run down and always doing something for everyone else you are really no good to anyone. Keep up the good work. You deserve to do something for yourself.
J.
Good for you for making a commitment to yourself!
First off don't feel bad at all about not putting them to bed every night (you're with them during the day). I think what is most important is getting yourself healthy. By excercising and watching what you eat you're giving yourself more energy (which I'm sure is needed running a daycare and as a mom of twins) and you're also setting a good example for your children to follow.
Take care of yourself so that you can best take care of your children!
Keep up the good (hard) work!
Hi J.,
Don't feel guilty. You are doing something good for yourself and your family by getting exercise and losing weight. A happy, and more importantly, healthy mom is a great gift to your children. It's hard, but you need to take care of yourself too. Do not feel guilty!!!! Good luck!
L.
J.,
You are absolutely amazing! You are working tremendously hard to provide for your family. Part of providing for your family is going to exercise 3 nights a week! You are getting healthier, physically and emotionally. You are modeling to your children to love themselves by living a healthy lifestyle. By exercising now, you are adding years to your life. You are gaining energy that will allow you to be present with them as they get older and they want you to play jumprope, hopscotch, ride bikes, hike trails, run after frisbees, play soccer, fly kites, swim.........you will be there for them. You are fabulous! Take a 4th day of exercise if you can. I am proud of you!
J., do not feel bad that you are not putting them to bed 3 nights! A lot of us Mom's need to work and work on ourselves each week and miss some time with the kids. This is normal and you should know you are not alone! Enjoy the time that you are with them and they will grow up to admire you for having something for yourself. My husband misses most nights to put the kids to bed because he is working and I also miss a few nights a week as well due to work.
Some help on losing weight, exercise is great. Another key is eating healthy each day, look at ingredients and do a little research. Also along side of all this there is a phenominal product I support and represent called NutriiVeda (Co. Zrii). My husband and I take it and you will not find anything on the planet that compares (safe and beneficial with results).
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Good luck!
S.
J.,
You have nothing to feel guitly about. Yes, kids need both quality and quantity time with their parents, but it doesn't have to be at bedtime. You are with your kids all day, so it's not like they have no time with you. The fact that you are doing home day care so you can be with your kids, shows how much you value your role in their lives. As someone who has also struggled with weight, I can say that when I feel better about myself, I am a much better mom. Everyone needs time to themselves, and in an ideal world, we'd be able to do that and still be home to put the kids to bed, but obviously, it's not an ideal world. So you have to take the time for yourself when you can get it. You're working so hard for them; you deserve to be able to work hard for you, too, without guilt. If you're with your kids all day, you have plenty of opportunities to love and nurture them and create memories with them, and that's what's important. So be good to yourself! Besides, this may only be temporary -- you never know what's around the bend for you. Blessings to you.
It sounds like losing the weight will make you a happier and healthier mom, so this sacrifice will benefit you and your girls in the long run. Kids are more resilient than we give them credit for. Go for it...do your Zumba...make your extra money and when you are with them, make every second count. Best of luck!
