Time Out Chair

TOs don't really work on the under 3 crowd. Instead, they create power struggles. I'd suggest redirecting, and when she tantrums, walk away or put her in her room. Ask and expect a normal voice before you engage with her again.

Its developmentally normal, she isn't picky up bad habits, though research shows increased aggression in daycare/preschool kids.

Less talk, more ignoring.

One minute per year of age. And under two is too young, in my opinion. She can't yet comprehend why she's there and she's not yet mature enough to control the behavior that landed her there in the first place.

I think time outs for a child that isn't even 2 is counterproductive. Your LO may be a little young for it, but all kids mature differently, so I could be wrong. Redirecting works wonders at this age, where kids have such short attention spans that they probably forgot what they did wrong before they even got to the chair. I didn't start time outs until my oldest was 3, and understood what was happening.

I used time-out time of their age. So 1-2 min for your child. But I would only use them for hitting. For tantrums, including throwing herself on the floor, I would just ignore it.

And, she's not learning this at daycare, she's doing it because she's 2. There is a reason why they call them the terrible 2s. She's just starting a little bit early :) It is totally normal for her to test her limits and to see if she can manipulate you. As long as you stay consistent, you'll both be fine.

... a chair alone, does not cure all of a child's behaviors.
There is also age related developmental phases and behaviors.
Per cognition and brain development, and development of 'emotions' and impulse control, and attention spans, per age.

A child, also does not come with automatic inherent "coping skills."
These are taught. And learned, and the ability for it, is per age.
Just as communication is, taught as well.
Just as, reactions to situations, are taught, as well.
Just as, management of situations, are taught as well.
A time out chair, does not teach all of that.
Even some adults, do not have, coping skills.
Kids, this age, do not even have emotions fully developed yet. And many children do not even know, the vocabulary for their emotions or what emotion they are feeling, nor can they even tell/communicate to their parent, how... they are feeling... nor, why.
These skills and abilities, are taught.

Look up, the developmental ages, of children.
Per age.

And, time out chairs do not work, for all.
If it did, then all parents would have perfectly understood, children.
And some kids, get desensitized to it.
And don't even care if they are there or not.

Two is too young for explanations and time outs. If you're ending it with a hug it's going to seem like a reward, which is the last thing you want! She needs guidance and redirection. At her age you need to be very direct, firm and clear.
Get down on her level, look at her in the eye, take her hands in yours, firmly, and say "we do not hit." Then move her on to something else.
I assume she's getting good care during the day so talk to her teachers and find out what methods they use. Stay and observe for a few hours one day if you can. What works at school/daycare will work at home, if you are consistent.

Time out should be 1 to 2 times age so 2-4 mins is about right. Don't end the punishment with a hug, it sends a mixed message. You can hug later (like before bedtime or after she does something nice), but mixing punishments and hugs are confusing to the child.

What I found works for 2 yr old tantrums (which is normal behavior) is, every time she throws a tantrum, look at her and say "You must be very tired to act like that" and put her down for a nap (or for the night if it is late enough). Either she really is tired, or she will learn that this behavior lands her in nap time. If she consistently falls asleep when you put her down, chances are, she's not napping at daycare and that is the source of the tantrums.

The general rule of thumb is 1 minute for every year of age.
So I think your approach is right on.

If you follow the Supernanny approach, you just silently return her to the chair when she attempts to get up, without interacting with her. Based on the show, sometimes it takes an hour of doing that, sometimes 1-2 times and she'll get the point.

Timeouts never worked with my kids, but it seems to work like a charm on the show.
Good luck!

The suggestion I alwasy heard for a time-out was 1 minute for each year, so a 2 year old would get a 2 minute time out. However, that's not the route I would take.

Hitting, throwing and tantrums are very, very normal at this age. You still want to do what you can to nip this in the bud, but do keep in mind that daycare probably has nothing to do with it. This is just part of the journey. Your daughter is not always able to verbally express why she is upset, so she resorts to expressing herself physically. Totally normal, and she really will grow out of it. In the meantime, pay it no attention. If she gets upset, be very calm and clear, "Mommy will talk to you when you calm down." My friend would say to her kids, "I can't understand you when you're upset. I will listen to you when you can talk like a big girl." Whatever you decide to say, make sure it is short. Then, walk away. This gives her the very clear message that you will listen to her, that you want to help her and that throwing a fit is not the way to get your attention.

But keep in mind that this is totally normal behavior. She's learning and growing, and she'll get past this stage.

Welcome to the terrible twos!

I always felt like the time out chair was a punishment for ME, because I had to listen to this wailing, thrashing child, and try to keep her in this little chair without it becoming a power play. Ugh. In my opinion, 2 year olds throw tantrums because they're at the end of their rope. They're frustrated, they're tired, they can't express how they feel very well, and they just totally blow up. I figure my children have the right to their feelings, but if they're going to be loud or bratty about it, they can do that in their own room, out of my earshot. So, when the child did something undesirable (threw a toy at someone, threw themselves on the ground and started thrashing and wailing, etc), I'd calmly pick the child up, deposit her in her own room, and shut the door. I'd tell them, "Hitting hurts. That's not okay. When you are feeling better, you can come out." And then I'd leave them there until they decided they could re-join us without acting like a deranged sociopath.

The good news is, this will pass. It's a very normal stage for toddlers to go through, and when your daughter learns to speak more clearly and can express herself better, and when she becomes more coordinated, she will be much less frustrated and will not throw tantrums anymore. It's just important that you don't give the poor behavior a big reaction - you don't want to reinforce that this is how she can get your attention. Putting her in her room away from you takes away her audience, and at the same time, gives her the opportunity to re-group and calm down away from whatever caused her frustration in the first place.

Deep breaths, have a glass of wine, and realize that a year from now, she won't act like this anymore. :)

She is two...that is what 2 yr olds do. There are trying to set and see where the parameter's are. As a St. Lic. child care provider I seriously doubt that this behavior is acceptable at her child care facility. We do get blamed for everything..lol. It's your job to speak to the CCP, or director so you guys are on the same page. This too shall pass....just be consistent. Good Luck to you.

I think your child is pretty young to do a time out chair. That requires discipline to sit still and the intention to stay put. A toddler is just too young to process this and do that.

She also doesn't really have the cognitive ability to think things through and do what you want. She's impulsive and not mentally ready to do this stuff. Keep working with her but don't expect her to do this very well for another 6 months to a year.

Time out is supposed to be used as time away, time to calm down, time to redirect their energy, etc...it's NOT punishment.

In child care we simply redirect toddlers into what we want them to do. If they are out of control they sit with the teacher until they can calm down.

In the 2 year old room it's run much more like a preschool and doesn't work on so many toddler skills, it's a pre-school classroom with table work, sit down and listen time, and has a much more scheduled day.

When your child is 2 I think you'll see a leap of development within those first few months. She should calm down if you're working on just redirecting her.

If you choose to do time outs, it is generally recommended that you do one minute for each year of age. So 3-4 minutes is too long. You should be doing 1, maybe 2, minutes for your daughter right now. Otherwise, your method sounds good. If it's working for you, keep it up.