Timeouts

Read Love and Logic for early childhood (age 1 to 6 years). It gives very clear rules for parents to follow to help enforce the time out routine the same way each time...then the kids will eventually know by just one word or phrase that they have to go into time out. It also advocates putting them in their room or other safe area and keeping the door closed - staying just outside the door until they are calm. That way you won't have to chase! Best wishes to you!

W. I understand!!! At 2 my daughter was the same way ;) My husband and I use to look at each other and say is it really worth it? Just stick to it and know that at 3 they really understand a lot better! Good luck!

Don't let him run from you. If you can't chase him, do the high chair and point it in the corner.

When you have the time and energy (haha), go toe to toe with him and keep putting him back over and over again. You've got some re-teaching to do too. It took about 30 minutes when I got serious for my 2 year old-just the first time, after that it gets easier.

If you can't follow through with making him go to time out. Don't ask him to. Do something else.

Good luck!!!!

L.

Bless you! I have 3 1/2 year old twins and I can't IMAGINE having an infant, too.

I used the highchair. It worked for me. If he hates that, then tell him when you put him in timeout that if he runs, you will put him in the highchair for his timeout.

Put him in a place where you can see him and put up gates so that when he hops up, he can't get far before you reach him. Don't say a word and put him back.

He is definitely doing this for attention, as I'm sure you know so make sure you are giving him plenty of positive attention. Catch him being good, play with him, have him help you with the baby, etc. If he only gets your attention when he's a turkey, then he is going to act up a lot!

Also, I put their toys in timeout and it WORKS!! If I hear them screaming over a toy, I warn them that it is about to go in timeout and if they continue, it gets put up. If it happens again, I put it in timeout for the rest of the day. They HATE this and most of the time they take turns and share their toys.
Good luck!

I would assume that school will deal with him staying in place, as that's their job. I'd just worry about doing it at home. My little guy has time out in his bedroom - locked door, with baby monitor on so I know he's ok. Go for the confinement thing & Good luck!

Short of strapping him to the chair (JUST KIDDING!) I don't know what to say. We have the same problem with our son who just turned 3. If he does stay then he screams like a banshee. It's so loud that I always think people will think we are beating him, esp. this time of the year when we have our windows open. If you get any great advice that works for your please share! I understand about not being able to chase him down, I also have an 8 mo old. Good luck!!! Hope you find something that works!

With our little 2 1/2 year old son, we put him in the laundry room and we have one of those plastic things on the doorknob to where he can't escape from there. The laundry room is is time out room. This has worked really well for us. But if he develops a phobia of laundry later in life, we'll know why!! LOL

If discipline is "fun" then it is not working! Children that age don't have conceptual skills to understand too much reward and punishment.

Two minutes in timeout is a long time for a two year old, believe it or not.

I certainly would not chase him. You haven't mentioned what he does to be punished. Sometimes ignoring is the best medicine. Then, he realizes you are not having a good time, too.

That's a tough one. Have you tried removing his favorite toys or videos and putting them on a high shelf for a "time out" since he can't stay in time out? If he has anything he is attached to- a couple times of doing that might convince him to sit in time out for a shorter amount of time instead of loosing a favorite toy for a longer "time out". Don't know if it'd work- just a suggestion.

Can you put them in another room and close the door (holding it closed, if necessary)? If so, then you can tell the boys that they leave the time out spot before you say so, then they will have a longer time out behind a closed door. This works really well with my son ... it only took once behind a closed door (and a few reminders) for him to stay in his time-out spot. Same thing with chasing them ... they should go themselves, or the time-out will be longer. Good luck!

This won't be very popular advice, but with my daughter, we used to explain that if she left time-out early, she would get a spanking. She had three chances to sit still, and on the third escape attempt, she got a swat on the leg for not staying in time-out. It only took once or twice for that to sink in.

By the way, my daughter is now 5, and I have probably spanked or swatted her fewer than 10 times total in her entire life. She's a very good little girl, but we had to get control of things early, and enforcing time-out with a swat is what worked for us.

Good luck to you!

You should watch the show Supernanny; she has great tips -if you implement these techniques it can really make a difference. She's on the lifetime channel.

It's not working, find something else. Dr. Sears books are a great place to start. He has one called The Discipline Book.

Do you have an entry way or somewhere kind of confined you could put him at and put a baby gate up...and just ignore him? Or you could get one of those octagon shaped play areas and just keep him in there with nothing in it?

Two and a half is still young to understand about time out. You might want to look into 'Love and Logic' as a discipline technique. It is about giving choices so the kids still have consequences but they help decide. For example, in my preschool class, if one of the kids doesn't want to go to time out because he got in trouble for fighting over a toy I would give him the choice of sitting out in the blue chair or the red chair. I tell them they have to choose one or I will choose for them. I give them about 1 minute to decide. I wish I could explain this better but I know it works with teenagers too since I have used it some on my own kids. Here is a link http://www.loveandlogic.com/ I hope it helps.

Oh, gosh! You have your hands full. We do time-out with our 2 1/2 year old daughter and it works really well. However, I remember when I had a 6 month old and a 2 year-old it was more difficult. I can't imagine with twins! Anyway, my daughter did the same thing and sometimes she still tests me; however, it is more rare now that she is older. My advice would be to do "supernanny style" that is what really worked for us. We give a warning the first time to let her know that is she continues the behavior she will go into time-out. Then if she does it again we walk her to time-out and let her know that she will be in time-out for 2 minutes because she.... We put the timer on for 2 minutes. If she would get out, we would walk her back with out saying a word and put her back down. I would even stand in front of her a bit with my back turned so that if she tried to get up I would be right there to put her back in. I would restart the timer every time. Eventually, she would give in and stay in time-out for the full 2 minutes. It was a lot of work; however, we are reallly benefiting now. She hardly ever is in time-out; I just give her a warning and she usually stops the behavior. I also warn her anywhere we go that if she doesn't listen that there is a time-out there as well that mommy will use. She is very well-behaved. I know boys or a little different; however, I encourage you to keep on trying as they sense that you will give-up and if you do not waiver then they know what to expect everytime. I remember my husband telling me that time-outs don't work on her; however, I proved him wrong with my consistency and tenancity. I just kept with it even though it took more time. I don't know if this helps at all. Good luck!!

Also, I forgot to mention what we did when I had a baby. I just carried the baby with me; to be quite honest. I would some how hold the baby in one hand and put my daughter in time-out with the other. Or I would just set my baby down while I concentrated on the discipline with my daughter. Usually placing her in the playpen in our bedroom so that I could concentrate on the discipline with my daughter. Not ideal; however, it did work.

Can I ask a few questions to maybe get your mind turning...
What is the purpose of the Time Out? Is it to punish your son for doing something wrong? Have you communicated with him his misbehavior? What do you think he is trying to accomplish by running away from time out? Do you think he understands the reason for his time out? Is he trying to get your attention by running and playing chase? Is he in control of the situation or are you?

My two year old daughter is the unrully one in our family. She will do something just because we said not to. I have tried many different discipline tatics and this is the only thing that is working. We first warn her of what she is doing wrong and tell her the consequence if she continues. Then we tell her what the proper behavior is and what we expect. If she deliberatly disobeys, I scope her up in my arms and remind her of the consequence. I then deliver the consequence while holding her (usually one swat on the bottom). I do not let her go! I will hold her while she crys and tell her, "baby, I love you very much! Mommy needs to teach you what is right and wrong. You recieved a spanking because you ________. The bible teaches that all children must obey their mommys and daddys and when you disobey mommy your disobey God. Mommy is not mad at you any more, and you are still my little princess." We do not seperate until she apologizes and we hug and kiss.

I hope this helps. Please feel free to contact me, as I would love to talk more with you about this.

Regards,
J.

My 3 year old son won't stay in timeout either. When he was about 18 months old we started using the "time out gate." It's going to sound a lot worse than it actually was. In our old house we had a space in a hall where we could barricade him in with a portable baby gate. He couldn't see the rest of the family in this location, but I could still monitor him. The first few seconds he always thinks it's kind of funny, but by the end of the first minute, he knows he's in trouble. We would him there for one minute for every year of age. Now that we have moved and he is a little older, I send him to his room for time outs. There is a babyproof knob on the door so that he can't get out, but he doesn't really try anymore. Let me just say that it took us about 18 months to get to the point where he wasn't trying to get out all the time, and he still tries occasionally.

We never had a problem at school with him staying in time out. The teachers seem to have a lot more scene control there than I do at home. :)